Saturday, December 15, 2012


What people don't understand about self-harming is that it's just another coping mechanism.  As it happens, I was a cutter for many years, as well as bulimic.

I thought I had it all under control, but here at 31 years old, I've relapsed on both.

What happened to trigger this old bad habits, you might ask?

Long story short, I fell in love for the first time.  We all know I was married before and that ended horribly.  But I was never in love with my ex-husband.

I fell in love with who you know as Titusville, a long time friend who had always claimed to having feelings for me since we met about 13 years ago.

He's the kind of guy who likes the conquest of taking on the unknown and then destroying it.  I thought this only applied to work.  He's very good at his job, because of this quality.  Apparently, it also happens to be that he's the same way in his relationships with people.  I wish I would've known that much about him before we were in a relationship.

I was just another conquest, and he conquered me, that I can't deny.  And just like that, it was over, and back off into the friend zone, I went.  Like a toy he got tired of playing with and put back on the shelf... For good, I might add.

When he gave me the news of being still in love with an ex, lets just say, I fell apart.  Old habits came back.

So out with Titusville and in with old bad behaviors...

Cutting and bulimia, Welcome Home!

It's been a long time... I'm glad to have you back, because I need you both right now to get through these troubled times.

I never thought I would fall so hard, but I did and now I'm paying the consequences.  I might need therapy, but until the day that happens, all I have is my self-destructive behavior.

I wish I had a dad to kick your sorry ass.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Racist? I Think Not

My sister and I go Trick or Treating in my moms neighborhood every year for multiple reason:

1. They give out lots of candy

2. It's a "good neighborhood" and by that I mean lots of rich white people.

3. See reason number 2

Today, my sister got a text message from I'm guessing an acquaintance that she really didn't want to hang out with, but didn't know how to politely tell her that she wasn't interested in going Trick or Treating with her.

We had a conversation that went something like this:

E: How do I ask this chic to go Trick or Treating with me out of courtesy, but get her to say no?

Me: Tell her you're going out with me and I live in the ghetto.

E: She's black.

Me: Oh... Tell her I live in the Mexican ghetto?


My sister laughed hysterically for a second, said I was funny... Racist, but funny and decided to ignore her acquaintance altogether.

My way was somewhat more polite, but I could be wrong.

Happy Halloween, Ass fuckers!!!

On an irrelevant note, we all know that Halloween is just an excuse for all women in general to dress like sluts.

As a disclaimer, as Mitt Romney said, "Rape isn't really rape if you're dressed like a slut.  Then you're just asking for it".  Maybe he didn't say that, but I'm sure I heard it on the internet so it must be true.

I'm rambling on about nothing because I need to sleep. So goodnight.  I'll be more coherent in the morning.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Art is Self Expression

Picture Credits:
Photo Taken by BrighterNites

I can tell you this much.  The cuts aren't real.  Neither are the pills.  Well they are but, they are just an old prescription of antibiotics and red pens work best, if you don't press down too hard.

I'm just in a dark place right now and I let it reflect in this self-portrait.  As they say, "Art is form of self expression".

I call this one "Woman on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown", named after one of my all time favorite movies "Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown".

A morbid picture, I know.  But, morbidity and I have a long history and we seem to work quite well together.

Therapeutic? Yes, slightly.  Crazy? Absolutely. But, whatever gets me out of this funk.

And for the record, taking self portraits is a real pain in the ass.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Must Be Nice To Be Irresponsible

Seems like every since Billiards girlfriend has moved out, he's been willing to be more responsible with money.

However, I've also noticed that he's been out galavanting with different women with every night.  This makes me wary that he will be paying his child support on a timely manner every month.

At the end of the day, whether he is or isn't, it would be nice to know that I can rely on him for child support on a monthly basis.  However, I'm getting the feeling that there is more drama brewing.

Oh.. How do I get rid of this person, so I don't have to deal with his stupid bullshit on top of whatever it is I'm going through?

Dear Billiard, you will never change, will you?

Monday, September 10, 2012

Cause You Put It In The Air

I can't remember the last time I've been pulled over by the police.  I have a clean driving record and the last time I was pulled over had to be well over 8 years ago.

Today, the unthinkable happened and I was pulled over... For speeding... In a school zone...  Doesn't get much better than that.  Luckily it was before school hours and I was only going about 6 MPH over the speed limit.  But still, it sucks.

I apologized to the officer and started to explain that I had just moved to that part of town and wasn't familiar with where I was going, but I'm not going to make excuses because I should have been paying closer attention, and handed him my license and registration.  He was pretty cool about the whole thing, but all the same I got a ticket.

Minutes before I was pulled over, I was chatting with Titusville and this is the exact transcript from the conversation I had with him before I left the house.  This was the conversation:

8:09 AM Titusville: good luck. dont speed

8:10 AM Me: I wont

Five minutes later....

8:15 AM Me: Got pulled over

8:15 AM Titusville: nahuh

8:16 AM Me: Yep

8:16 AM Titusville: c'mon! I just told you to not speed

Yes, this really happened.  And yes, I do blame you, Titusville.  You put that shit in the air and I got pulled over.

So now I have a nice little court summons to deal with but the officer assured me that since I have a clean driving record, more then likely, it will get dismissed.

All the same... It's your fault, you dirty bastard. LOL

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Gay Man

So I had posted a link to this video on my Facebook page a little earlier today:

With the video, I posted this status: Sometimes, I wish I was a gay man. I could have a penis and still have all the perks of being a feminine sans a menstrual cycle.

What I really wanted to say was: Sometime, I wish I was a gay man. I could have a penis and still have all the perks of being a feminine sans a menstrual cycle and still suck dick and take it up the ass.

Probably a little too much for Facebook though, huh?  Yeah, that's what I figured.  Just thought I'd share here. 

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Back To School

School started for the kids out here in Las Vegas, NV on August 27th.  With so much going on and trying to get back into into routine with The Boy, things have been slightly hectic.  

And now with having just recently signing a lease to a house, we have to thrown moving into the whole mix. Technically, he would have a different school but, I just don't think it's fair to change his school.  He's started 2nd grade but this is already his second elementary school.

This means I have to suck it up and deal with the commute.  It's only about a 20 minute commute, but here in Vegas, anytime more than a 10 minute (15 minutes tops) commute, is considered far.

Originally, being from the east coast, I shouldn't be bitching at all because standard commute is about 30 minutes to and hour.  Throw traffic into the mix and you're looking at an hour and a half, easily.  But something about living here makes you forget that they'res a world outside of Vegas.

I actually don't think I mind that at all.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Terminal 3 (LAS)

Photo Credits:
Picture Taken by BrighterNites
I didn't add this pic to my 365 the night I took it because I wasn't very fond of it originally.  The more I look at it, the more I like it.

This picture was taken at the newly built Terminal 3 at McCarran International Airport (LAS).  For whatever reason, Clark County felt the need to add an additional 300 slot machines at the airport, because the hundreds of slot machines at Terminal 1 apparently, just weren't sufficient enough.

So now we have a completely new terminal away from the main terminal and none of it makes any sense.  BUT WE GET 300 NEW SLOT MACHINES AT THE AIRPORT!!!

Cause that's what Vegas needs... More slot machines...

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Too Much Free Time?

It occurred to me, now that I'm trying to maintain 3 separate blogs simultaneously, that I have way too much free time on my hands.  That or my time management skills have vastly improved and my ADHD has maybe somewhat subsided.

All the same, this question popped into my mind: Is it absurd to maintain 3 blogs?

Now granted, each one of them serves a completely different purpose, but 2 of them need to be updated daily.

I've been contemplating taking on another project that would eventually turn into yet another blog, but I'm starting to think that I may have enough on my plate as is.

100 Strangers Project.  Heard of it?  I think it would be fun.  It wouldn't require daily maintenance, but a 4th blog?

I might just have to leave that one as a Flickr project instead of blogging it.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Hello, Catie!

So apparently, my ex-husbands new girlfriend got wind of my blog and decided to have a bitch fest in his honor or some shit.

Catie, I've been blogging about the man you know as Billy for the better part of 5 years.  It's why Angry Girlfriend began.

I've always blogged anonymously, and I plan to continue to do it under the name Angry Girlfriend.  I don't wish to put my real name or the real names of people I am close to, enemies or not.

It's called venting.  Being childish is writing comments on your new boyfriend's ex-wife blogs without knowing the back story or that it is suppose to be ANONYMOUS.

I'm curious to know how you even came to know about my blog to begin with.

Here's my advise to you.  Feel free to read, even get pissed at me. I'm going to vent when people, not just Billy, piss me off.  And this is where I come to do it.

So you have 2 options. Either:

a) follow me, laugh, cry, crack a smile and/or be upset.


b)or just stay away all together.

If you want to comment, be warned, you may do so at your own risk.  But if you're going to start using real names and say that I'm lying when you don't know what's really going on because Billy is not telling you everything (and I promise you that he's not), well then, I lose my anonymity which in retrospect means I wont give a shit about yours or his for that matter.

Again, you will not like what I have to say half the time and that's fine, but if I were you, I'd come up with with a pseudonym to protect all of our identities.  Unless you like that drama, of course.

365 Bottles of Wine

I have found myself with a ridiculous amount of free time on my hands recently, hence my new photography hobby and taking on the 365 Project.

It's got me blogging again... Sorta...

With all this free time, I have nothing better to do then blog and invent new projects to keep me busy.

I drink a lot of wine.  Mostly, cause the red wine makes me poop and pooping makes me feel not fat and not being fat makes me happy.

I don't know the first thing about wine cause I normally buy the shit out the box.  Again, I drink it to poop, not for taste.  That is, until now.

Plus they have a lot of really cool looking bottles so what the hell.

So here is yet another new blog i created: 365 Bottles of Wine.

I don't intend on buying a new bottle everyday but I do intend to have tried at least 365 different bottle between now and next year.

Assuming I still have as much free time as I have had lately, this project might actually work.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Sucks To Be You

In a very hilarious turn of events, I received an unexpected text message from a certain dumb fuck asking me for help.

The ex-husband of all people, had somehow found himself stranded with not enough gas in his car to make it from work back home.

Why was this so funny?

1.  When I left him (the 2nd and final time), I ran into some car problems.  Let's just say he wasn't very willing to help out back then.

2.  According to Facebook pictures, he seems to be doing quite well financially.  Going out to bars and dinner, even supporting his 20 year-old girlfriend and her son.

3.  His girlfriend doesn't work but she lives with him, which of course means he is the one paying all the bills even though he is 3 months behind on child support.

We still have a joint account together that he normally uses to transfer my child support. As I stated earlier, he's behind 3 months so the account hasn't been used.

Basically, the text conversation went like this:

Dumb Fuck: Hey. Can I use the bank card for gas?

Angry Girlfriend: Nope. No cash on it. That doesn't mean to test it either. I know how you are. DO NOT USE THE CARD

DF:  Damn I'm afraid I wont make it home from Sterling and I know I can't use my card

AG: Well you can't use that card either. I don't keep money in that account

DF: Can you transfer 10-15? Otherwise I wont make it and I don't want my parents or sister come out to VA during rush hour

AG: You much be really fucked if you're askin me for help

DF: I've told you this long ago. My parents have been helping me out.

AG: You have a girlfriend. Ask her to help you. Oh wait... That's right.. She doesn't work

DF: Can you or not? Please

I found myself in a very interesting situation where I could either:

a) Play nice and transfer him the money


b) Have a good laugh and leave him stranded

Of course, there is always a twist to what a do.  So this is what happened:

AG: I hope this is a major wake up call for you.  Don't support other people when you can't support yourself dumb fuck. I'll help you. $10 That's it. Don't go over and you're paying me back

DF: Thank you.  I will pay you back

AG: Titusville says you're welcome

Pause and think about that.  Let it sink in...Yep, that's right.  My boyfriend just sent you money to help you fill up your tank and get you home.  Well not really, but I figured it would sting his ego, because that's just the kinda ex-wife I am.  Evil and vindictive.  And then I had a good laugh and gloated in my victory as I drank my wine and thought about what a fucking loser you are.


Monday, August 6, 2012

Baby Daddy Drama

Here we go:

My ex-husband keeps referring to me as a bitch.  Normally, I'd agree but in this case, not so much.

I have given this man every chance an opportunity to do the right thing and pay his child support. He is currently 3 months behind.

I reduced his child support in the divorce to factor in travel cost to fly back and forth from the east coast to the west coast. So remind me again why am I bitch when you haven't paid me child support in 3 months and I had to pay the travel cost for my son to fly back home?

From what I understand, you've spent the whole summer with your son dropping him off at your parents or sisters house so you could go out to party and take your girlfriend out, but I'm the bitch because all I'm asking for is what is court ordered anyways?

Doesn't sound like you've spent the time wisely to be with your son, let alone spent your money wisely.  And I don't really care what the fuck you do so long as my son is safe and you pay my child support in a timely manner.

You're serving alcohol to minors with my son around at your home, have barely spent time with the boy and you have the audacity to cry broke?!  Not my problem.

You signed the papers.  You agreed to the terms.  You're not keeping up with your half of the bargain.  But I'm the bitch?

Yeah, okay, sure.  Sounds to me like it's you.

D.A.'s office, here I come.  Good luck with that, dumb fuck.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

A Sudden Rush of Anger

It's brewing in the pit of my stomach like the perfect storm.  All hell is about to break loose and I promise, it wont be pretty.  

I've lost a lot of friends in the last year and a half.  Actually, I've lost them all.  Moving across the country and away from all the people you know has a way of ending friendships whether you were trying to end them or not.

I lost one "close" friend to a horrible case of bridezilla syndrome.  She felt the need to terminate our friendship because me moving across the country and going through a divorce interfered with her plans of me being her maid of honor.  

I was oblivious to the fact that the friendship had ended til someone else pointed it out to me.  Apparently, she had ended our friendship on Facebook, not that I would know because she had deleted me as a friend prior to the announcement, but I hadn't noticed that either.  God, I love Facebook.

Other friends started to fade away slowly.  And now, a year and a half after leaving the East Coast (for the second time), I realized that I have no friends left.  Only acquaintances.

I lie.  I have one friend left.  But that friendship is standing on the ledge and I'm about to jump. It's the reason why the storm is brewing to begin with.  This friendship will not end well, but I'll get into that once I'm back home in Vegas.  Did I mention that I've been staying out in the small town of Wake Forest, NC?  It's like being in hillbilly hell, but worse.  No beaches and no liquor stores for miles and everything closes by 10:00pm, except for the Walmart... of course.

They have a great Mediterranean food joint across the street from where I've been staying.  The hummus is awesome. I go everyday cause I don't have my car out here and it's walking distance.

How I miss the Vegas lights.  I look forward to going home and finding a new place to call home once I get back.  I think it's time to settle in and get myself rooted.  I think Vegas may possibly be home after all. 

Monday, July 23, 2012

365 Project

So I got into this little hobby called photography. I don't know if most people are aware, but photography is one expensive ass hobby to get into.

And now that I've become addicted like a beat up prostitute hooked on heroin, or a zombie flesh eater hooked on bath salts, I've decided to attempt that whole 365 project thing.

Unlike my libido, my attention span is pretty... fuck, I hate being constipated... Right...What? Never mind. So I'm not sure how well this will all play out.  Constipation really does suck ass. Why am I writing this post from the toilet?  The world may never know.

Beginning today, for the next 365 (unless I get distracted before then), I will post pictures on here and here  (feel free to pick your poison. It's the same damn shit on both sites).  I will be taking pictures with my really cool new camera, that cost me about a months rent.  And on days that I'm feeling too damn lazy to be productive, I will use my broke down ass HTC some-crap phone that pisses me off more than it doesn't, to take pictures that may or may not suck.

Just for the record, the first pic I posted was from my HTC please-die-and-go-to-hell phone.  I'd say I'm off to a good start.

Pictures will be as random as the shit that comes out my ass.

365 Project Blogger

Thursday, June 28, 2012


It's a well known fact that I tend to be somewhat "off" at times. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I suffer from verbal diarrhea.

I say things at times that make people turn and look at me as if I were crazy.

I've been quoted saying random things like:

"Rodney King is dead, we need to work on our sex map."

"So what you're saying is, shaking it is not an effective way of drying your penis?!"

"I'm gonna get high off this red bull. It's gives me wings, I wanna run..."

"Magic Penis!!! The magic of the penis... It's magical!"

"Naked! Take it! Fake it! Butt cake! No wait... That doesn't rhyme..."

"Slurpee! Hump, hump..."

"The world does not revolve around you and your penile paranoia"

"You like to help the strays... I like to feed them to the Asians"

That is, until Titusville entered the picture.  He's good at making people think he's shy and reserved, which is why I've decided to compile this list of Titusvillisms.  Just random shit that Titusville has said that makes me look a whole lot saner:

"A jock strap is nothing but a bra for your balls"

"I really don't believe you were a thai stripper after a sex change. Im pretty bummed"

"I like when you act retarded cause it reminds me that I still have a chance with you"

"I like your small hands cause they make my dick look bigger"

"Your body is the highway. Tell me where to get off" - (Sounds romantic at first... Until you factor in that he was talking to his GPS)

"A friend use to sell drugs in Gainesville. He recommended a place to eat"

" Yea thats a real social network we live on, dumb ass."

"Love is just a word until you give it a meaning. Vagina is just a word til you put something inside"

"I'm having sex with my camera. It does a better job.. It focuses all on me"

On second thought, we both sound crazy... Him more then me... Cause I'm sane... And I'm wearing clothes which means I'm NOT crazy.  I wear clothes all the time. Like normal folk. Yep... Just me not being naked and sane. It's good to be normal.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Who Says I'm Not a Good Neighbor?!

I know... I keep going M.I.A.  Blah, blah, blah... Get over it.

I've been meaning to post this for a while but, I've been distracted with a lot of things.  Packing, new job, and a bunch of irrelevant shit.

Anyways, about a week ago, I was on my way out the house to pick up my son from school when I found this note in the door:

I'm not completely insensitive to other peoples needs, especially when kids are involved, but what kind of threw  me off was the fact that I work from home and only leave the house for maybe 2 hours out the day, usually in the morning, NOT evening.

So Catrice #126, you're full of shit, which is why I had no choice but to leave you this note:

I'm such a good neighbor.

I haven't received another note in the door so I'm assuming she either got the point to fuck off or perhaps she realized she was blaming the 'continuous barking' on the wrong dog.

In either case, I don't care.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Jealousy is a Real Bitch

I admit it.  I have a very hard time keeping my outrageous jealously in check.  This may stem from what I like to call "Ugly Duck Syndrome".

Once upon a time, I got picked on... A lot... I went to majority all black schools all my life so maybe the bitches were hating cause I had 'that gud hur' (that's good hair, for those of you who don't understand Ebonics).

People use to call me ugly all the time, the thing is I believed it then. Not so much now.  But I do feel threatened by other women, but that probably has something to do with being cheated on all the time.  I've grown accustom to it.  I wont accept it, but it's expected. (Titusville, you are that one exception. I don't expect it from you and if you ever did it, you would die.... There's no explanation necessary).

Hell, I don't know.  Point is, I don't make friends easy, and I sure as hell don't keep them for long periods of time, but that has something to do with me always picking up and going into hiding. I reinvent myself all the time. I trust no one cause everyone lies, and I've become somewhat of a narcissist because at the end of the day, no one really cares about your best interest, but yourself.

So when I do find someone who I let in, and not just a little bit, but a lot, I can get somewhat overprotective of that person.  Unfortunately, since I don't know what a healthy human relationship consists of, I tend to get sometimes act out, in a very ugly way.

Truth be told, I'm not normal, so anyone who deals with me can't be either.  Normal people don't get me, but then again the abnormal folk don't either.

I'm not consistent in my personality. What I may find unacceptable today may become completely acceptable tomorrow. I'm starting to believe that I may be one crazy ass bitch.

There are days when I wish certain peoples death and the next I want to bury the hatchet and move on.  I'm that kinda crazy.  I think my paranoia is starting to get the best of me. I would see a shrink but I don't really trust the meds they prescribe.  I always seem to be that 1% of people who get the abnormal side effects of hallucinations, voices in my head and all that other crazy shit.  Must be because of my predisposition to schizophrenia.  

I am self destructive as hell, from the cutting, to the random tattoos that I got just for the pain, to the eating disorder.  Bulimia sucks, by the way.

Then there was the drinking problem that got in the way of my eating disorder but it was the only way I could eat and not want to purge.

Yeah, I'm slightly fucked up.  I am a work in progress. And that's not even half of it... Enough for you to maybe get a better picture of the person you're dealing with here, but there is still a lot more that I hide.

So yeah, that's me. Psychotic, but overly protective about people I care about, slightly overly emotional, and jealous, insecure, ugly but not really ugly but still thinks I'm kinda ugly, narcissistic bitch who goes back and forth between cutting, bulimia and alcoholism, and likes to hide out in the desert because this is where all the crazies come to hide.

When I finally get a balance on things, I'll let you know.

Until then, you can try to bare it with me, or go fuck yourself. Your choice.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Evil Monkey

I took a 5 hour energy shot today which makes complete sense.  I mean what person with ADHD shouldn't be taking energy shots?

So now I have a jumble of thoughts running through my mind but I can't keep up with my thought process.  Awesome, right?

I've come up with all sorts of devious plans to do evil things.  First thing that comes to mind is my plan to kidnap Fudgy.  In case you're wondering, Fudgy is this evil monkey with beady eyes.  He's oddly shaped and scary to look at.

I don't like him because I believe he is possessed by the devil and is out to get me.  Or maybe he's not out to get me specifically, but that evil bastard is up to something.  It is my belief that he may have very valuable information about what stuffed animals do when no one is home. 

Fudgy must be caught!  I must use Chinese torture and psychological torture techniques on him to get to the bottom of the truth.

I have a secret army and we plan to attack... very soon.

What poor Fugdy doesn't know is that I plan to behead him and stick his head on a pole.  Talk or don't talk, evil Fudgy.  You're going down, bastard!

I'd post a picture of the evil bastard to complete this post but in order to that, I'd have to reactivate my Facebook account to get a picture and quite frankly, I'm enjoying my hiatus away from Facebook.  The devil lives on Facebook and he's slowly taking all of you're souls from right underneath you.

I'm saved because I bought a homeless nun a sandwich which has to be one of the most narcissistic things I've ever done. I only did it to prove to myself that I'm not narcissistic which in turn only proves how narcissistic I really am.

As for all the devil and possession ideas that I have been rambling on about, you can blame that on Titusville for getting me addicted to Supernatural.

Dammit, is Dean hot!

So yeah... Death to Fudgy, Facebook is Evil, I'm a narcissist, and Supernatural is awesome!  How's that for a blog post?

Side note: Fudgy's owner, this is in no way, shape or form geared towards you.  Not every evil thought I post or mention is about you, so stop being so narcissistic.  Only I'm allowed to be a narcissist.  Now if you could kindly email me a picture of Fudgy so my evil minions know who to attack, that would be awesome! and yes, I'm being totally serious. You'll thank me later.

I should also probably mention I'm on hiatus from my personal Facebook account, not my Angry Girlfriend account, so you can all still 'Like' my page and worship me.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Insomnia Is Back

Just when I thought I had gotten over it.  I crash at 10:00pm then wake up at 12:00pm, fall back asleep only to be up by 2:00am.

I don't know whats keeping me up but this shit sucks huge hairy balls.

Masturbation helps... Just slightly, but like Chinese food, I'm only hungry 2 hours later...  Was that analogy inappropriate? Fuck it.

On an irrelevant note, I love croutons!  They are so yum. Dip them in some bleu cheese. Hell yeah.

On yet another random note, I had a conversation with this Portuguese guy.  Well he spoke Portuguese and I spoke Spanish combined with the limited Portuguese I do know. It's fun trying to communicate with people who speak a different language.

I might make a game of it.  No English or Spanish?  Let's have a conversation.  Could be fun.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Trying To Be Not So Angry

There are maybe 3 people that I hate in this whole world. Like hate, hate and wish death upon hate.

Wait, that sounds bad.  Three people to wish death upon is kind of a high number? Blame it on me being a narcissist. The only other person I give a shit about other then myself and my son is Titusville.  I've known that fucker a long time.  Fuck, does he get under my skin.  I don't know half the time if I want to have crazy, wild sex with him or kill him. Maybe a mixture of both.  We do play hard.

As for the people I want dead.  I hate you.  You know it, I know it.  No need to be coy about it.  The only reason I don't wish you dead is because it would vastly effect The Boy.  Well, just that particular one.  Guess that gives that one away.  The other two, I could give a shit about.

Well technically the second is also related to my The Boy.  I just don't think he'd notice or care because you're fat and ugly and kind of a bitch.  Did I say kinda?  I take it back.  You are a bitch.  I don't know how your husband doesn't cheat on you.  He must be a better man then most, or really good at hiding his shit.  Maybe that's why he's always drunk.

As for the third, not even worth mentioning so there goes that.

There's an honorable forth mention.  I don't wish you death.  I just don't like you cause you lie.  A lot. Like all the fucking time. Seriously? What's the point of lying so much?  Especially cause you can't keep your stories straight and you get caught every fucking time?  You should work on that. Either stop lying or learn to lie and not get caught.  Just saying.

The more I think about it, there's a lot people I don't like.  Maybe I should relocate somewhere where I could become the President and dictate who gets to move into the country and who's ugly, fat, or a waste of space.  I will call Angry Girlfriendapolis.

I might need a better name then that.

Stupid, fat, ugly people who use to work at whorehouses are not permitted.  I still think it's hilarious that you call me a whore but you ACTUALLY sold your vagina for money.  By definition and technicality doesn't that make YOU a whore?  Just saying.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Yeah, So...

Sometimes being so angry gets annoying.  I wish I could let it all go like a good orgasm.  Is it so much to ask to be not angry?  Not happy, just not angry.

Apparently, it is.  Somehow, I know it's my own damn fault.  I set myself up for these things, but I am REALLY good at being self destructive.  

There was the whole cutting thing, the eating disorder. I push people away cause I simply just don't trust them. It's just what I do.  I find way to self destruct. I'd like to believe that I'm not alone, but in reality I am.  It's the nature of the beast.

One of these days, I'm going to have to grow up and face my issues.... Until then, I'm drowning it all out with music and alcohol:

How To Say This Nicely?

Nobody cares.  Least of all me.  Maybe I am sort of a narcissist after all.

Why did God invent you ugly people to begin with?  It's like he got bored and needed ugly people to entertain him or something.

More importantly, why are there stupid people?

You want to see me in court?  By all means.  Bring it on, bitch.  You wont win and I'll tear you a new asshole.  Here's hoping a big rock falls out of the sky and lands on your fucking head.

In the meantime, I'll just have to block your calls and/or respond to your text and emails with, 'No comment. Feel free to contact my attorney".

Really cute how you tried to set me up, by the way. Classic. Luckily, I learned how to tell when you're lying years ago. Go fuck a duck, k?

I am feeling like a major dumb ass for even being in this situation to begin with.  If only I could hit the reset button and make you go away.

How inappropriate would it be to have a beer at 3:30 in the morning?  Yes, no, maybe?

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Dirty Fly

I find you so utterly annoying.  You're like a fly stuck behind the blinds.  I can't see you, but I hear you buzzing away back there.

I want to take my shoe and just beat the hell out of you til you're all smashed up and dead.  You stopped buzzing around for a while, but you're still there.  Playing dead.  Waiting for me to forget that you're back there.

Just as soon as I forget, you start to buzz again.  Wreacking all kinds of havoc.  I hate you fly.  You evil, dirty, whore fly.

Why can't you just die already and go away?!

On second thought, maybe I shouldn't ruin a perfectly good shoe on an evil, dirty fly.  After all, my shoe is worth more then your dirty vagina.  haha :)

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Why Do You People Care?

Apparently, Whitney Houston died. I only know this because my Facebook account exploded with dozens of Facebook status updates from friends and family all saying something along the lines of "RIP Whitney Houston".

 I acknowledge that yes, this particular artist was very much talented, but when was the last time she even made a hit? Actually, that's not the point I'm trying to make.

 I don't understand why when a public figure dies, the world goes haywire. Micheal Jackson, for an example, was a great artist. A little strange, may or may not have been a pedophile (I believe he was a bit eccentric but by no means a pedophile though he might have possibly suffered from arrested development understandably, but that's also not relevant to this topic), tons of cash to burn which he did quite successfully, might I add. He dies and the world was in mourning.

 My point here is, I don't understand the mourning of a person you never actually knew in life. Just because they're a public figure and maybe you admire their work, you're going to be sad when they pass away? 

Other then providing you with entertainment and being highly overpaid to do such, why are we bereaved when they die?

 A good percentage of them are responsible for their own deaths. As of now, we don't know what happened to Whitney Houston, but considering her jaded pass, it's not hard to figure out what went wrong. Kind of like Marilyn Monroe, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Elvis Presley, Anna Nicole Smith, Amy Winehouse (well, that's a special circumstance), Heath Ledger, the list goes on and on and on.

Celebrities die. They are after all, human. Surprise!

Everyone mentioned aboved loved by fans for one reason or another, but at the end of the day, their job in life was to entertain us, which they all did successfully. They were also financially compensated quite well for their services, and though they all died tragic deaths, it was pretty much all self inflicted.

 Maybe I'm just heartless, but I don't understand people mourn the death of public figures. What you know about them, is what they allowed you to see. You enjoyed their work, I get that. But the world moves on. Kind of like if one us "average Joes" were to die (inside joke ;) )

 The difference is, no random stranger gives a shit if YOU die, cause they didn't know you and/or you weren't that entertaining or maybe you were fat and ugly, or maybe you were just a straight up asshole. Hell, sometimes people that you do know don't care if you die. So why are you people mourning over a celebrity?

 I would sit here and feed into the bullshit of all the RIP Whitney, or whatever but I feel it's a bit redundant and quite frankly, I don't give a shit.

 The only guarantee we have in life is that at one point or another, we will die. So why is everyone so surprised? It should've been expected. My morbidness is starting to kick in, but ce' la vie.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Ask Me

If you want to know what I'm really feeling, ask me when I'm drunk.

You might not like what I have to say, but it will be the honest truth.

P.S. You suck hairy balls, asshole.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Making Amends

There is a certain person out there, who I wont name specifically, who I feel I need to make amends with.

Can't say that I actually know this person, (you can thank your "friend" for that, since he's made it very clear that we can never meet because you're too shy and he feels some warped sense of responsibility towards you and the need to protect you. From who? I don't know. I'm actually quite a nice person).

Quite frankly, it's this stupid need to "protect" you that has made me as hostile towards you without having ever met you. Not fair to you, but let's just say I'm a very territorial person.

I like to literally mark my territory. Like I dog, I pee on things that belong to me. I've somewhat turned feral... I'm getting sidetracked.

Point is, I'm not crazy, I'm not a psycho bitch regardless of what you've heard or read for that matter, I'm not a lush (I swear, that fucker set me up), I've never been arrested nor have I ever required court order anger management, as of yet. See? I'm normal.

Not to brag, but I'm actually pretty fucking awesome. Although, most people probably wouldn't agree cause they still can't seem to see past the whole peeing into my ex's chicken ordeal. At some point and time, you have to let that go people! There has got to be a statue of limitations for certain random acts of crazy I tend to display... on rare occasion.

Again, I'm getting sidetracked... BIRD!!! Just kidding.

So yeah, person I kinda know but not really cause we've never actually met. I am offering you a peace offering to end the imaginary war that I seem to have created in my very own mind.

I do shit like that on occasions. It's what non-crazy people with an over active imagination do.

If you ever want to reach out to me so you can see for yourself how not crazy I am, you know how. Not that I expect you to, but the offer is there.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Why Bother?

I consider myself to be a good friend. Always giving advice to those in need. Lately, I've noticed that people can me all the time, at all hours and I'm there to hear their bullshit and give advice.

The problem is when I'm in need, there's no one there for me. Granted, I know there's a 3 hour time difference between me and my East Coaster friends, and I haven't made too many friends out west cause quite frankly, in my life, people come and go.

As evil and bitchy as I am, I am good to those I care about. Unfortunately, the feelings are obviously NOT mutual. So who do I turn to when I'm in need of advice or guidance? No one. Cause no one gives a shit. And that's okay.

Just don't bother calling me at 3 am when you've gotten pulled over for a DUI and you need help bailing getting bailed out, or when you caught you boyfriend cheating on you, or when you find out that you're husband got another woman pregnant and has a whole different family on the side, or when you cheated on you're boyfriend and don't know who the father of your baby is, or when your boyfriend gave you an STI, etc...

Quite frankly, your problems are your own. Deal with it! I honestly don't give a shit anymore.

I have wasted a lot of time listening to the bullshit of others, when I don't even have a grip on my own life.

People come and go. It's time to move on and cut out the old. Good luck to you people back east. Quite frankly, I'm over your drama.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

To Xanax Or Not to Xanax

I've been suffering from panic attacks and insomnia for about the last 2 weeks, which sucks balls to say the least.

I was on the verge of finally caving in and popping a xanax, but me being the way I am, I just had to look up the side effects.

I think it's common knowledge at this point that the side effects are usually worse then the reason you're on the drug to begin with.

Did you know a side effect of xanax is 'hallucinations, seeing and hearing things that don't exist'.

I guess they felt the need to explain what a hallucination is just in case you're too high to put it together. Maybe what you're reading doesn't exist and hallucinations isn't a real side effect.

Next on the list: thinking of harming or killing yourself or trying to do so.

This is an awesome side effect. You get a prescription for xanax cause you were a little stressed out, had some anxiety issues and now you want to kill yourself.

For some of you, xanax will push you over the edge completely. Awesomeness! Have fun jumping off that bridge!

Another awesome side effect: depression.

The funny thing about anxiety and panic disorders is that the people who have them are usually already suffering from some form of depression.

Apparently, xanax can make you MORE depressed which in retrospect would explain why you might want to kill yourself while on this drug.

I think I've read enough. I'm tossing those pills out. Insomnia and panic: here I come!

Friday, January 20, 2012

Titusville in Titusville

When we started dating about 3 months ago, Titusville and I thought that we had come up with this awesome plan that in order to not keep this relationship long distance for too long, he would take a job offer in New Jersey on a 2 month contract and then move out across the country with me once securing a job. I should mention that this contract ends in 5 days.

I guess I should also mention that this idea made sense at the time because he was going to be bringing home a substantial amount of money, so it seemed like a good idea.

Where this plan failed, unbeknownst to me, was when I went to go visit him for the holidays. Apparently, I forced him to book a hotel for the 2 weeks I was out there and drained his cash. He could've simply have told me not to come out, and that issue would have been avoided all together, but since I'm a grown-up, I'm suppose to think ahead. Anyone who knows me should know I NEVER THINK AHEAD. It's a character flaw.

Of course, planning in advance rarely works. He's pretty good at what he does which is something web related, but apparently there's only work for him on the east coast. Apparently, they don't have any web designers living anywhere else in the country. ONLY ON THE EAST COAST... IN FLORIDA... NOWHERE ELSE...

He's gotten tons of job offers back in Florida. Specifically, back in the same area he use to live. And that's ok. I don't mind waiting things out and doing the long distance thing. The problem is if he goes back to Florida, he'll be living with his former female roommate. Which isn't the problem. The problem is that he and this female roommate had a sexual relationship up until about a year ago.

Apparently, I'm suppose to trust him that nothing will happen. Which I do. I just don't trust HER. I'm sure he'd back away and not let things get to that level, but why put yourself in that situation to begin with?

So as it stands, he and I are in limbo and there's a possibility that we'll go our separate ways. All because I voiced my feelings about the subject, and anytime I bring up the topic of this roommate and my concerns about her, he throws a shit fest.

I did give him the ultimatum that if he moves back in with her, we're through. I was frustrated. And I'm not 100% sure if I really would walk or if it was just me talking out of anger. Maybe I'm in the wrong. Who knows? But what he fails to realize, ironically since he's one of the only people in this world to really know me best, is that I've been fucked over many a time.

Granted, I understand that you can't take out your insecurities, and anger on the new guy, but come on.

This woman post shit on your Facebook every fucking day, you talk to her on the phone every fucking day, and now you're going to be living together again? And you still can't see why I might have an issue with this?

Yeah, Facebook is just Facebook, but you have a relationship with this person ON and OFFLINE on a daily basis. And now you won't talk to me because I voiced a concern???

I hope that someone is reading this. Help us shed some light on who is in the wrong here, because Titusville is pretty damn good at flipping the script and making me feel guilty for not trusting him, which I never said to begin with. I'm just saying, if the situation was in reverse, how cool about it would you be?

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

No One Likes Rebuplicans

This is a little out of left field, but I was having a conversation with this crazy white bitch from Ohio. And we all know people from Ohio are fucking nuts. She's actually pretty cool when she's not trying to stab people.

Ohio, who is Republican, apparently came to the sudden realization that no one likes Republicans. Which is true.

For whatever reason, I came to the realization that it appears in some kind of unspoken law, that you can't be black and be a Republican, unless you're Condoleezza Rice, who black people don't consider black anyways. How did she make it so far in politics with a jacked up ass name like that?

It's like a fat person who starves themselves. That actually makes no sense. But I think that may have been my point. I mean, what fat person do you know that would willing starve themselves?

It's like this fat girl I know who's always complaining about being fat as she stuffs a 12 inch sub down her throat and complains 15 minutes later that she's still hungry and talks about how she's watching her weight by only eating 1 of the 2 12 inch subs she bought and downing it with a diet coke. See? No sense. Sleep deprivation is starting to get to me.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Die, Whore Bitch, Die

There's not a lot of people that I hate in this world.

But there are certain people who just really get under my skin and I wish a painful death. I think they do it on purpose. Because they know... I can be a psycho bitch. They want to see how far they can push me before I blow up.

They obviously, have no clue... I'm not hard to set off...

Sleep well, you whore. I've got my eye on you. Fucking slut.

I'm sorry to be so vague, but I can't just throw everything out there at the moment. Give me some time, and we shall see what is to come.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Men Are Retarded

It doesn't matter if they've love you for 12 years or have been infatuated with you for 12 seconds.

They are all the same. Sorry ladies, but I think our emotions would be kept safer if we all stuck to carpet munchin.

FYI for all you men, anytime a woman does something drastic to their hair, it usually means that's you've really fucked up or they're going through a really bad break up.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Been M.I.A.

Before you start to bitch me out, I am well aware that I have been M.I.A. for quite some time now. That's kinda my fault but not really. Let's just say shit a.k.a. life happens.

I could catch you all up, but no one cares about the details. Unless, it's all ugly. Which most of it is, truth be told.

Let's just say, I think I may possibly make a come back which really doesn't make any sense since I wasn't ever THAT popular to begin with. And yes, I'm still very much angry. Just not at the same person.

I'm famous in Japan, bitch!!! Well, not really, but I like to pretend I am. I'll work on my comeback tomorrow when I'm sober.

Oh, and... Happy New Years!!! What year are we in? 2012 or some shit... We're all gonna die... Yeah...