Thursday, June 28, 2012

Titusvillisms

It's a well known fact that I tend to be somewhat "off" at times. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I suffer from verbal diarrhea.

I say things at times that make people turn and look at me as if I were crazy.

I've been quoted saying random things like:

"Rodney King is dead, we need to work on our sex map."


"So what you're saying is, shaking it is not an effective way of drying your penis?!"


"I'm gonna get high off this red bull. It's gives me wings, I wanna run..."


"Magic Penis!!! The magic of the penis... It's magical!"


"Naked! Take it! Fake it! Butt cake! No wait... That doesn't rhyme..."


"Slurpee! Hump, hump..."


"The world does not revolve around you and your penile paranoia"


"You like to help the strays... I like to feed them to the Asians"



That is, until Titusville entered the picture.  He's good at making people think he's shy and reserved, which is why I've decided to compile this list of Titusvillisms.  Just random shit that Titusville has said that makes me look a whole lot saner:

"A jock strap is nothing but a bra for your balls"


"I really don't believe you were a thai stripper after a sex change. Im pretty bummed"


"I like when you act retarded cause it reminds me that I still have a chance with you"


"I like your small hands cause they make my dick look bigger"


"Your body is the highway. Tell me where to get off" - (Sounds romantic at first... Until you factor in that he was talking to his GPS)


"A friend use to sell drugs in Gainesville. He recommended a place to eat"


"MyFace.com. Yea thats a real social network we live on, dumb ass."


"Love is just a word until you give it a meaning. Vagina is just a word til you put something inside"


"I'm having sex with my camera. It does a better job.. It focuses all on me"



On second thought, we both sound crazy... Him more then me... Cause I'm sane... And I'm wearing clothes which means I'm NOT crazy.  I wear clothes all the time. Like normal folk. Yep... Just me not being naked and sane. It's good to be normal.



1 comment:

jamsaugustine said...

When you know that the thoughts are not just sex-related, and that the libido is arriving from the psychological closeness rather than from a sex-related habit.

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