Thursday, December 17, 2009

My Name Is Karma

As my friends have been watching me fester in my anger and madness, the one thing that I've heard from them over and over is, "Don't worry. Karma can be a bitch. That asshole is gonna get what's coming to him".

Well, kids. It's time for an Angry Girlfriend reality check. Sometimes Karma needs a little kick in the ass.

I'm not gonna sit here and wait for some magical Karma to kick in years and years later when I'm no longer bitter.

I AM KARMA, BITCH!!!

Of course most of you are probably thinking that I've lost most of my sanity and am working on pure emotion.

But I assure you. I don't think I've ever seen things more clearly in my life.

It's obvious that I'm only angry because (dare I say it?)... *gulp* I cared... Thats the first and last time you wil ever see any weakness out of me.

I'm gonna stop there because if I keep going, you'll only realize how evil I really am.

I'm a saint and those horns poking out the top of my head are only there to support my halo.

Monday, December 14, 2009

I Hate You - Go Rot In A Ditch

I've been known to be an angry irrational person in the past but now I'm all of the above and then some.

Its safe to say that I'm becoming an angry bitter bitch due to my failed marriage of only 11 months to that dumb ass that for whatever reason thought he'd waste my time marrying me even though he admits now that he knew it would never work because he never really liked me like that to begin with.

Yes, I said "liked" and not "loved" because I don't even think that cocksucker know whats it's like to love someone outside of his immediate family. Actually, I'm not sure he knows what love is outside of loving himself cause he's a pretty fucked up, selfish bastard. He might have more issues then me if you can believe that.

Anyways...

Frijolero, on your pursuit to find love with another women, I wish you the kinda pain you only feel when you're being forcibly sodomized by 5 men who are all at least 3Xs bigger then you in width.

I hope that whoever you find to fall in love with, if you haven't found her already, fucks all of your friends and relatives behind your back and gives you a new incurable STD that no ones even heard of yet.

I hope that your penis becomes so severely infected that the only solution to cure your infection is to amputate it.

I wish you many agonizing nights of a burning sensation in your anus and a mysterious rash that itches like hell on your testicles.

I tired to be good and civil but you just had to drag me through the mud. Did you really think I was going to remain nice and civil after you pulled that little stunt on me, you fucking cocksucker?

You should've left well enough alone the first time. You just had to keep pushing me and pushing me... and now I'm pushing right the fuck back.

See you in hell, shithole... Divorcing you is gonna be fun ;)

To everyone else out there, there maybe a time where you hear some really fucked up shit about me. Like some really fucked up shit I might "allegedly" do. I'll just warn you now... It may more then likely be true. But in my own defence, I wouldn't be acting out like such an asshole if I didn't care so in a way, that asshole should just take it as a compliment LOL.

P.S. To Fuck Face, I also wish you stomach pains much like labor pains for at least 12 hours and I hope you end up pushing something the size of a baseball through your pee hole.

Hold on tight people This is gonna be a turbulent ride... And I'm just getting started...

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

All I Want For Christmas Is... A Good Divorce Attorney

I had stated earlier that Frijolero and I were in the process of reconciling. Well, that is no longer the case.

Two days ago, he stated that the marriage is over and that's pretty much all there is to that. Did I mention he was suppose to be coming out here for Christmas?

That's no longer the case either. After his unexpected news, I told him to take his airline ticket and go fuck himself with it.

I believe he may be seeing someone else. I'm guessing he hasn't fucked her yet, but that could change at any moment.

I hope your penis falls off from being infected with chlamydia and gonorrhea, you asshole!

So if anyone knows of a good divorce attorney, send me an email: angrygirlfriend@gmail.com

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Secret Phone

Can you keep a secret? No? Well neither can I.

I have a new secret phone that few people know about it. I got it so that Frijolero can't contact me on days that he pisses me off.

Do you think it's wrong that I got a secret phone so that my husband can't call me when I'm mad at him? No? Neither do I.

Did I mention that we're trying to work things out and get back together? Dysfunctional, I know.

I've only given out the phone number to a selected few people who I have deemed important enough to contact me when my primary phone is turned off.

I know that are a few of you out there that are reading this and are probably going to want to go tell Frijolero about my new secret phone, but I'm advising you not to do that because if you do... The little man in the window will break into your house and eat your face plus, I'll deny the whole thing.

He'll believe me because I'm poor and poor people don't have money to spend on secret phones.

So keep your mouth shut... It's our little secret, ok? Shhhhhhhh ;)