Thursday, March 8, 2012

Evil Monkey

I took a 5 hour energy shot today which makes complete sense.  I mean what person with ADHD shouldn't be taking energy shots?

So now I have a jumble of thoughts running through my mind but I can't keep up with my thought process.  Awesome, right?

I've come up with all sorts of devious plans to do evil things.  First thing that comes to mind is my plan to kidnap Fudgy.  In case you're wondering, Fudgy is this evil monkey with beady eyes.  He's oddly shaped and scary to look at.

I don't like him because I believe he is possessed by the devil and is out to get me.  Or maybe he's not out to get me specifically, but that evil bastard is up to something.  It is my belief that he may have very valuable information about what stuffed animals do when no one is home. 

Fudgy must be caught!  I must use Chinese torture and psychological torture techniques on him to get to the bottom of the truth.

I have a secret army and we plan to attack... very soon.

What poor Fugdy doesn't know is that I plan to behead him and stick his head on a pole.  Talk or don't talk, evil Fudgy.  You're going down, bastard!

I'd post a picture of the evil bastard to complete this post but in order to that, I'd have to reactivate my Facebook account to get a picture and quite frankly, I'm enjoying my hiatus away from Facebook.  The devil lives on Facebook and he's slowly taking all of you're souls from right underneath you.

I'm saved because I bought a homeless nun a sandwich which has to be one of the most narcissistic things I've ever done. I only did it to prove to myself that I'm not narcissistic which in turn only proves how narcissistic I really am.

As for all the devil and possession ideas that I have been rambling on about, you can blame that on Titusville for getting me addicted to Supernatural.

Dammit, is Dean hot!

So yeah... Death to Fudgy, Facebook is Evil, I'm a narcissist, and Supernatural is awesome!  How's that for a blog post?

Side note: Fudgy's owner, this is in no way, shape or form geared towards you.  Not every evil thought I post or mention is about you, so stop being so narcissistic.  Only I'm allowed to be a narcissist.  Now if you could kindly email me a picture of Fudgy so my evil minions know who to attack, that would be awesome! and yes, I'm being totally serious. You'll thank me later.

I should also probably mention I'm on hiatus from my personal Facebook account, not my Angry Girlfriend account, so you can all still 'Like' my page and worship me.

1 comment:

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