Friday, July 25, 2008

Coming Out the Closet

I've decided to create yet another Angry Girlfriend public service. Any public service that I come up with after my Close to the Edge Suicide Hotline idea, is going to be hard to beat, but I think I may be on to something with this new service.

This new service will be called, "Coming Out the Closet". Our motto would be something like, "Promoting gayness and helping every gay person come out the closet, one gay person at a time".

Yeah, I know. The motto's a little rough around the edges, but it's a work in progress.

So what's behind this new service, you're probably wondering?

Well, I have a pretty good gaydar. I'd say I'm about 99% accurate.

Some people just have a much harder time coming out then others. So that's where I come in.

I know your gay even when you haven't realized your gay yet. Even though with some people, it should be completely obvious to themselves that they are.

But whatever. Coming out the closet is never an easy thing to do, but the sooner you can come to terms with it and accept it, the better you'll feel about yourself in the end.

Anyways, so I'll have this program for those in serious denial that will help them come out. It'll be called, "Pushing You Out the Closet".

Exactly how the title sounds. I will attempt to push you out the closet by taking you to gay bars, and making you watch homoerotic films. We'll watch Queer as Folk, and soon you'll realize that you have a lot more in common with those gay guys then you do with your own male friends.

Eventually, you'll see for yourself what I always knew... You're gay! Hooray. We'll throw a coming out party and get you a male stripper. It'll be the best time ever.

Obviously, this service is geared towards gay men and not lesbians.

There's a reason for that. My gaydar isn't quite as accurate on females cause woman are evil and manipulative and a lot harder to read.

However, I will be coming out with a Coming Out the Closet program for lesbians, once I'm able to get a better gaydar for them. As it stands, I'm about 80% accurate with lesbians, so I got a lot of work to do.

Bi's don't need a program because we got both ways and no one really cares. They just think we're being greedy.

Oh and bi the way (hehe), men can be bi and not be gay for those of you who believe otherwise. Those of you who have read my blog "Are We All Bi-Curious?", should know where I stand on bisexuality. If you haven't yet. Go check it out.

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