Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Tow Truck Bastard & The Meth Addict

The evil tow truck bastard showed up last night. Much to my surprise, he wasn't alone. Apparently, that HOA bitch, Terry, has decided to "clean house" I guess you could say.

Long story short, 15 tow trucks came out and from about 8 PM - 12 AM. They towed around 60 cars out of our complex. Someone from the HOA was placing orange stickers on all the cars that were delinquent on their HOA fees. They also towed cars that didn't have parking passes on them at all.

Thanks to a neighbor, I caught the evil tow truck bastard as he was hooking up Cornholio's car to the tow truck. I tried to bribe him, discretely of course, not to tow the car.

The fucking son of a bitch tells me, "You have to pay your HOA fees".

I'm like, "Look, you don't have to tow the car, just drop it off at the shoppers, I'll give you $50 and we'll call it a night".

Like some retarded ass zombie, he repeats, "You have to pay your HOA fees".

Obviously, this particular tow truck asshole, was in cahoots with that scanky, cunt, whore, Terry.

I noticed another tow truck driver shaking his head at his fellow tow truck idiot, as if to say, "Man, you fucking stupid. Take the fuckin' money". He didn't say that, but I could tell he wanted to.

I was furious with the tow truck bastard for not taking me up on my deal and made a comment to him something along the lines of, "I didn't realize that they still had slaves. I see how that white bitch owns your sorry ass".

And of course, the slave said, "Don't beat me again, Massa". Actually the fucker repeated his infamous line of the night, " You have to pay your HOA fees". Moron.

I could've potentially have pissed off the tow truck bastard. Most black people would've taken offense to a comment like that. However, this tow truck driver was either a complete moron, or possibly having an affair with Terry, because my comment didn't seem to bother him at all.

I take it back. He couldn't be having an affair with Terry. She's just not that pretty and shes old and fat. The tow truck bastard was just a complete and utter idiot.

So they towed Cornholio's car, but they didn't get mine. I got my keys as they were towing his and another neighbors car and jumped in before another tow truck fucker had the chance to hook my car up.

We followed the tow truck people to the impound, get the car out just as fast as it went it, wasted another $100, then dropped off his car at his job.

However, while we were at the impound, I got wind of what the deal was with the tow truck bastards and found out that they were going to be making a 2nd round to pick up more cars around 5 AM and that they planned to do this all week long.

It was only midnight. My car wasn't safe. When I got home, I stayed in my car for about an hour before deciding that I needed some sleep and to set off my alarm at 4:30Am to potentially save my car if need be.

At 4:30 AM, my alarm goes off. I look out the window and see nothing. No sticker, no tow truck. I reset my alarm to 5 AM, but then I heard it. A tow truck. I look out the window and see a tow truck making rounds on the other side of the complex.

I threw on some pants and some shoes, grab my keys and ran right out the door. I got to me car and see some white guy walking around the complex with something in his hand and realize, he's with the HOA people.

I start the car and leave, really with no plan but to wait it out. I drive around for about 30 minutes, and head back home, but as I'm pulling in the complex, a tow truck driver is leaving... with a a car.

Obviously, they weren't done yet because there was another tow truck pulling into the complex as the other was leaving. So I bucked a U and got the hell outta there.

I head out to the parking lot where Cornholio works. I feel asleep out there for about 45 minutes, then decided to head back home yet again.

On my way home, some crazy, psycho, meth addict jumps into the middle of the road and of course I stop inches away from hitting him. He runs up to my window asking me for a ride, claiming that his car had broken down and a bunch of other bullshit that wasn't true.

I told him, "You must think I'm fucking crazy. You think I'm gonna let you in my car so you can possibly rob and kill me. Get the fuck out the way before I run your ass over".

He asked for a couple bucks, so I threw a five out the window. The fucker has the nerve to be ask me, "How about ten?"

To which I respond, "You're only getting five, so go do something useful and OD. Get the fuck out the way".

He moves out the way, and I race home.

AS I'm pulling into the complex, another tow truck is coming out with yet another car and the HOA guy is still walking around the complex, putting on more stickers on cars that "needed to be towed".

I had enough of that bullshit, so I got the boy son out of bed and headed to "work" which is at Cornholio's parents house. Finally got some sleep, though only for about 3 hours, but it's better then nothing.

I can't do this shit all week, so I guess Terry and I are going to be having a talk pretty soon. Or maybe I'll just spend the res of the week at my moms house.

I don't really appreciate Terry's force tactic so I feel the need to rebel. This shit ain't fucking over, yet...

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