My HOA drama is far from over.
This morning, as I was getting into my car, which I've been parking in a neighborhood across the street, I saw the lady who I refer to as the Vampire Lady.
The bitch is like in her later forties, has fangs caps on her teeth and purple hair. She's a stay-at-home mom and home schools her son. She's also a member of the HOA. She's one of those people who act like they own the neighborhood, but in reality she just has no life.
For a "Vampire", you'd think that Halloween is like her favorite holiday. She decorates her house and sits out with a table and everything, so you think you're gonna get something good but she gives the crappiest shit for Halloween.
All smoke and no mirrors, you know what I mean?
Anyways, that's all really besides the point.
Long story short, that fucking bitch had the fucking audacity to follow me to my car this morning.
As I got into my car, I saw her jump out from behind a bush. She gave me a look of disgusted and I gave her a look of I don't-give-a-fuck and the finger, and I drove off.
I saw her run to someones house in that neighborhood, so I'm assuming she probably wants the neighborhood to know that people who don't live there are parking on their lot, but that street doesn't have an HOA. It's county property, so you're out of luck bitch.
I can only imagine what the neighbors face must've been like when they opened the door and saw a middle aged woman with a painted white face, purple hair and fangs ranting on about people not paying their HOA fees parking in the neighborhood at 9:30 in the morning. Kinda hard to take her seriously, I can imagine.
I'm not sure what the Vampire Lady plans to do, but whatever move she tries to make from here on out is more then likely illegal. I'm not parking in the condo lot. I'm on county grounds now, so technically I should be safe.
I knew I wasn't crazy. They were watching me, just like I said.
This shit is far from over...
Showing posts with label hoa. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hoa. Show all posts
Monday, August 4, 2008
Thursday, July 31, 2008
I Think They're Watching Me
In a 48 hour period, I had slept a total of about 6 hours. I became paranoid and delusional. I knew that someone was out to get me some I had to stay up and wait for them to come.
I'll get them before they get me.
Those fucking bastards from the HOA were waiting for my to leave my car unattended so that they could slap an orange sticker on it and have those tow truck bastards tow my car away.
But I wasn't going to let that happen. Oh no... Not this time.
Instead, this is what I did:
Tuesday night:
I had 2 good friends stop by. These bitches get down. I mean, really get down. They were up for anything. With a 24 pack of beer in hand, we sat in the parking lot by our cars, waiting... taunting... the HOA fucktards to come out.
We blasted loud music from the car stereo, drank out beers in the open, were as loud as possible, and even peed in the parking lot.
A white lady came out her home. I recognized her as the Grumpy Face Lady. Always frowning, always old, always ugly, and never makes eye contact... till now.
She started at me with her old grumpy face, and I stared right the fuck back as if to say, "Yeah, bitch. I know you know of them".
As soon, as I locked eyes with her, she turned and headed back into her house.
For 4 hours, we waited and though we could here the tow trucks on the other side of the development, they never made their way to my street.
I left for the night and slept over my moms house, but her house is haunted so I didn't really sleep.
Wednesday night:
Again my 2 friends returned with a plus one. I figured partying in the parking lot 2 nights in a row might warrant one of the neighbors to call the cops on me, so we found parking at a nearby undisclosed location and head back to my house.
It's a bit of a walk, but I'm determined not to let these HOA bastards ruin my fun and not allow them to pressure me into paying them.
They wanted a war, they got one.
The sleep deprivation starts to set in and I realize that there's a fine line between insanity and sleep deprivation. Essentially, it's the same thing.
As I listened to the tow trucks hauling car after car on the other side of the development, I sat and waited for them to come to my side. I watched out the window, waiting to see the person who was behind the orange stickers, ready to start a confrontation.
But they never came to my side of the street. I have a feeling that they've been watching me. They knew I hadn't parked my car in the lot so they didn't even bother driving to my side of the street. But I knew they were out there. Watching and waiting.
They probably had no clue that I had found somewhere else to park, which is fine by me. I'll kept watching and as they plan their attacks on me, I'll be ready with a counter attack.
I finally got some sleep last night, but I'm not quite right yet. I know they're watching me and I wont stop until they give up.
They're waiting for me to slip up. Leave me car unattended for even a minute. But I'm not going to do that.
Terry's old and her whole HOA gang is full of more old people who are all possibly senile. Old people just aren't that smart. And fat people, like Terry, don't move so quick. So her whole little HOA posse is going down.
I'm gonna get all of them before they can get me.
Come on, bitches! Bring it on!
I'll get them before they get me.
Those fucking bastards from the HOA were waiting for my to leave my car unattended so that they could slap an orange sticker on it and have those tow truck bastards tow my car away.
But I wasn't going to let that happen. Oh no... Not this time.
Instead, this is what I did:
Tuesday night:
I had 2 good friends stop by. These bitches get down. I mean, really get down. They were up for anything. With a 24 pack of beer in hand, we sat in the parking lot by our cars, waiting... taunting... the HOA fucktards to come out.
We blasted loud music from the car stereo, drank out beers in the open, were as loud as possible, and even peed in the parking lot.
A white lady came out her home. I recognized her as the Grumpy Face Lady. Always frowning, always old, always ugly, and never makes eye contact... till now.
She started at me with her old grumpy face, and I stared right the fuck back as if to say, "Yeah, bitch. I know you know of them".
As soon, as I locked eyes with her, she turned and headed back into her house.
For 4 hours, we waited and though we could here the tow trucks on the other side of the development, they never made their way to my street.
I left for the night and slept over my moms house, but her house is haunted so I didn't really sleep.
Wednesday night:
Again my 2 friends returned with a plus one. I figured partying in the parking lot 2 nights in a row might warrant one of the neighbors to call the cops on me, so we found parking at a nearby undisclosed location and head back to my house.
It's a bit of a walk, but I'm determined not to let these HOA bastards ruin my fun and not allow them to pressure me into paying them.
They wanted a war, they got one.
The sleep deprivation starts to set in and I realize that there's a fine line between insanity and sleep deprivation. Essentially, it's the same thing.
As I listened to the tow trucks hauling car after car on the other side of the development, I sat and waited for them to come to my side. I watched out the window, waiting to see the person who was behind the orange stickers, ready to start a confrontation.
But they never came to my side of the street. I have a feeling that they've been watching me. They knew I hadn't parked my car in the lot so they didn't even bother driving to my side of the street. But I knew they were out there. Watching and waiting.
They probably had no clue that I had found somewhere else to park, which is fine by me. I'll kept watching and as they plan their attacks on me, I'll be ready with a counter attack.
I finally got some sleep last night, but I'm not quite right yet. I know they're watching me and I wont stop until they give up.
They're waiting for me to slip up. Leave me car unattended for even a minute. But I'm not going to do that.
Terry's old and her whole HOA gang is full of more old people who are all possibly senile. Old people just aren't that smart. And fat people, like Terry, don't move so quick. So her whole little HOA posse is going down.
I'm gonna get all of them before they can get me.
Come on, bitches! Bring it on!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
The Tow Truck Bastard & The Meth Addict
The evil tow truck bastard showed up last night. Much to my surprise, he wasn't alone. Apparently, that HOA bitch, Terry, has decided to "clean house" I guess you could say.
Long story short, 15 tow trucks came out and from about 8 PM - 12 AM. They towed around 60 cars out of our complex. Someone from the HOA was placing orange stickers on all the cars that were delinquent on their HOA fees. They also towed cars that didn't have parking passes on them at all.
Thanks to a neighbor, I caught the evil tow truck bastard as he was hooking up Cornholio's car to the tow truck. I tried to bribe him, discretely of course, not to tow the car.
The fucking son of a bitch tells me, "You have to pay your HOA fees".
I'm like, "Look, you don't have to tow the car, just drop it off at the shoppers, I'll give you $50 and we'll call it a night".
Like some retarded ass zombie, he repeats, "You have to pay your HOA fees".
Obviously, this particular tow truck asshole, was in cahoots with that scanky, cunt, whore, Terry.
I noticed another tow truck driver shaking his head at his fellow tow truck idiot, as if to say, "Man, you fucking stupid. Take the fuckin' money". He didn't say that, but I could tell he wanted to.
I was furious with the tow truck bastard for not taking me up on my deal and made a comment to him something along the lines of, "I didn't realize that they still had slaves. I see how that white bitch owns your sorry ass".
And of course, the slave said, "Don't beat me again, Massa". Actually the fucker repeated his infamous line of the night, " You have to pay your HOA fees". Moron.
I could've potentially have pissed off the tow truck bastard. Most black people would've taken offense to a comment like that. However, this tow truck driver was either a complete moron, or possibly having an affair with Terry, because my comment didn't seem to bother him at all.
I take it back. He couldn't be having an affair with Terry. She's just not that pretty and shes old and fat. The tow truck bastard was just a complete and utter idiot.
So they towed Cornholio's car, but they didn't get mine. I got my keys as they were towing his and another neighbors car and jumped in before another tow truck fucker had the chance to hook my car up.
We followed the tow truck people to the impound, get the car out just as fast as it went it, wasted another $100, then dropped off his car at his job.
However, while we were at the impound, I got wind of what the deal was with the tow truck bastards and found out that they were going to be making a 2nd round to pick up more cars around 5 AM and that they planned to do this all week long.
It was only midnight. My car wasn't safe. When I got home, I stayed in my car for about an hour before deciding that I needed some sleep and to set off my alarm at 4:30Am to potentially save my car if need be.
At 4:30 AM, my alarm goes off. I look out the window and see nothing. No sticker, no tow truck. I reset my alarm to 5 AM, but then I heard it. A tow truck. I look out the window and see a tow truck making rounds on the other side of the complex.
I threw on some pants and some shoes, grab my keys and ran right out the door. I got to me car and see some white guy walking around the complex with something in his hand and realize, he's with the HOA people.
I start the car and leave, really with no plan but to wait it out. I drive around for about 30 minutes, and head back home, but as I'm pulling in the complex, a tow truck driver is leaving... with a a car.
Obviously, they weren't done yet because there was another tow truck pulling into the complex as the other was leaving. So I bucked a U and got the hell outta there.
I head out to the parking lot where Cornholio works. I feel asleep out there for about 45 minutes, then decided to head back home yet again.
On my way home, some crazy, psycho, meth addict jumps into the middle of the road and of course I stop inches away from hitting him. He runs up to my window asking me for a ride, claiming that his car had broken down and a bunch of other bullshit that wasn't true.
I told him, "You must think I'm fucking crazy. You think I'm gonna let you in my car so you can possibly rob and kill me. Get the fuck out the way before I run your ass over".
He asked for a couple bucks, so I threw a five out the window. The fucker has the nerve to be ask me, "How about ten?"
To which I respond, "You're only getting five, so go do something useful and OD. Get the fuck out the way".
He moves out the way, and I race home.
AS I'm pulling into the complex, another tow truck is coming out with yet another car and the HOA guy is still walking around the complex, putting on more stickers on cars that "needed to be towed".
I had enough of that bullshit, so I got the boy son out of bed and headed to "work" which is at Cornholio's parents house. Finally got some sleep, though only for about 3 hours, but it's better then nothing.
I can't do this shit all week, so I guess Terry and I are going to be having a talk pretty soon. Or maybe I'll just spend the res of the week at my moms house.
I don't really appreciate Terry's force tactic so I feel the need to rebel. This shit ain't fucking over, yet...
Long story short, 15 tow trucks came out and from about 8 PM - 12 AM. They towed around 60 cars out of our complex. Someone from the HOA was placing orange stickers on all the cars that were delinquent on their HOA fees. They also towed cars that didn't have parking passes on them at all.
Thanks to a neighbor, I caught the evil tow truck bastard as he was hooking up Cornholio's car to the tow truck. I tried to bribe him, discretely of course, not to tow the car.
The fucking son of a bitch tells me, "You have to pay your HOA fees".
I'm like, "Look, you don't have to tow the car, just drop it off at the shoppers, I'll give you $50 and we'll call it a night".
Like some retarded ass zombie, he repeats, "You have to pay your HOA fees".
Obviously, this particular tow truck asshole, was in cahoots with that scanky, cunt, whore, Terry.
I noticed another tow truck driver shaking his head at his fellow tow truck idiot, as if to say, "Man, you fucking stupid. Take the fuckin' money". He didn't say that, but I could tell he wanted to.
I was furious with the tow truck bastard for not taking me up on my deal and made a comment to him something along the lines of, "I didn't realize that they still had slaves. I see how that white bitch owns your sorry ass".
And of course, the slave said, "Don't beat me again, Massa". Actually the fucker repeated his infamous line of the night, " You have to pay your HOA fees". Moron.
I could've potentially have pissed off the tow truck bastard. Most black people would've taken offense to a comment like that. However, this tow truck driver was either a complete moron, or possibly having an affair with Terry, because my comment didn't seem to bother him at all.
I take it back. He couldn't be having an affair with Terry. She's just not that pretty and shes old and fat. The tow truck bastard was just a complete and utter idiot.
So they towed Cornholio's car, but they didn't get mine. I got my keys as they were towing his and another neighbors car and jumped in before another tow truck fucker had the chance to hook my car up.
We followed the tow truck people to the impound, get the car out just as fast as it went it, wasted another $100, then dropped off his car at his job.
However, while we were at the impound, I got wind of what the deal was with the tow truck bastards and found out that they were going to be making a 2nd round to pick up more cars around 5 AM and that they planned to do this all week long.
It was only midnight. My car wasn't safe. When I got home, I stayed in my car for about an hour before deciding that I needed some sleep and to set off my alarm at 4:30Am to potentially save my car if need be.
At 4:30 AM, my alarm goes off. I look out the window and see nothing. No sticker, no tow truck. I reset my alarm to 5 AM, but then I heard it. A tow truck. I look out the window and see a tow truck making rounds on the other side of the complex.
I threw on some pants and some shoes, grab my keys and ran right out the door. I got to me car and see some white guy walking around the complex with something in his hand and realize, he's with the HOA people.
I start the car and leave, really with no plan but to wait it out. I drive around for about 30 minutes, and head back home, but as I'm pulling in the complex, a tow truck driver is leaving... with a a car.
Obviously, they weren't done yet because there was another tow truck pulling into the complex as the other was leaving. So I bucked a U and got the hell outta there.
I head out to the parking lot where Cornholio works. I feel asleep out there for about 45 minutes, then decided to head back home yet again.
On my way home, some crazy, psycho, meth addict jumps into the middle of the road and of course I stop inches away from hitting him. He runs up to my window asking me for a ride, claiming that his car had broken down and a bunch of other bullshit that wasn't true.
I told him, "You must think I'm fucking crazy. You think I'm gonna let you in my car so you can possibly rob and kill me. Get the fuck out the way before I run your ass over".
He asked for a couple bucks, so I threw a five out the window. The fucker has the nerve to be ask me, "How about ten?"
To which I respond, "You're only getting five, so go do something useful and OD. Get the fuck out the way".
He moves out the way, and I race home.
AS I'm pulling into the complex, another tow truck is coming out with yet another car and the HOA guy is still walking around the complex, putting on more stickers on cars that "needed to be towed".
I had enough of that bullshit, so I got the boy son out of bed and headed to "work" which is at Cornholio's parents house. Finally got some sleep, though only for about 3 hours, but it's better then nothing.
I can't do this shit all week, so I guess Terry and I are going to be having a talk pretty soon. Or maybe I'll just spend the res of the week at my moms house.
I don't really appreciate Terry's force tactic so I feel the need to rebel. This shit ain't fucking over, yet...
Friday, July 11, 2008
HOA Can Kiss My Ass
I was getting ready for work this morning when I happened to look outside the window and notice that my car wasn't outside.
Most people would've probably first assumed that their car had been stolen, but I knew that this was the work of those low life, money-hungry, ass fucking bastards from the HOA (that's Home Owners Association for those of you who don't have a clue what HOA stands for).
I called up the towing company and sure enough, they had my car. The reason I was towed? Apparently, my parking permit has magically become invalid. The guy from the towing company told me that I needed to talked to the management over by where I live, but I had already figured that on my own.
These people from the HOA, have had it out for us since we bought the place. I think the main bitch, Terry, is just a bias hater who's mad that 2 young spics could afford to live in her neighborhood. After all, we were only 24-years-old when we bought the place.
This fat, bitch has made it more then obvious that she has had it out for us since the beginning.
When we had first moved into the neighborhood, it was obvious that we were the youngest family living on the block. We had tons of parties just about every weekend, but we were always cautious not to let things get too out of control since we didn't want any problems with any of the neighbors.
However, about a year after buying our house, the HOA people, (ahem, *cough* bitch, ass, Terry, *cough*), decided that they needed to start issuing parking passes. We don't live in new neighborhood. This neighborhood was developed sometime back in the late 70's, early 80's.
I think everyone in the neighborhood is well aware that we're what cause Terry to decide that she needed to mandate parking passes.
What's wrong Terry? You jealous cause my 26-year-old boyfriend was able to support us off of one income for 2 years while you and your sorry ass husband both had to work jobs I'm sure you both hated just to pay the same bills we're paying?
Yeah, I guess I'd be pissed too, especially if I was as fat and grotesque as you are. Not to mention that you suck at your job.
Why is it that in the 3 years we've been living here, the HOA fee has gone up by $20 every fucking year. What are you doing wrong for that to happen?
Stupid bitch.
This isn't the first time that bitch, ass, Terry has had my car towed, but you better believe it's gonna be the last time.
Oh, and guess who's about to join the HOA? That's right, bitch! MEEEEEE!
I'll see you at the next meeting. Fucking cunt.
Most people would've probably first assumed that their car had been stolen, but I knew that this was the work of those low life, money-hungry, ass fucking bastards from the HOA (that's Home Owners Association for those of you who don't have a clue what HOA stands for).
I called up the towing company and sure enough, they had my car. The reason I was towed? Apparently, my parking permit has magically become invalid. The guy from the towing company told me that I needed to talked to the management over by where I live, but I had already figured that on my own.
These people from the HOA, have had it out for us since we bought the place. I think the main bitch, Terry, is just a bias hater who's mad that 2 young spics could afford to live in her neighborhood. After all, we were only 24-years-old when we bought the place.
This fat, bitch has made it more then obvious that she has had it out for us since the beginning.
When we had first moved into the neighborhood, it was obvious that we were the youngest family living on the block. We had tons of parties just about every weekend, but we were always cautious not to let things get too out of control since we didn't want any problems with any of the neighbors.
However, about a year after buying our house, the HOA people, (ahem, *cough* bitch, ass, Terry, *cough*), decided that they needed to start issuing parking passes. We don't live in new neighborhood. This neighborhood was developed sometime back in the late 70's, early 80's.
I think everyone in the neighborhood is well aware that we're what cause Terry to decide that she needed to mandate parking passes.
What's wrong Terry? You jealous cause my 26-year-old boyfriend was able to support us off of one income for 2 years while you and your sorry ass husband both had to work jobs I'm sure you both hated just to pay the same bills we're paying?
Yeah, I guess I'd be pissed too, especially if I was as fat and grotesque as you are. Not to mention that you suck at your job.
Why is it that in the 3 years we've been living here, the HOA fee has gone up by $20 every fucking year. What are you doing wrong for that to happen?
Stupid bitch.
This isn't the first time that bitch, ass, Terry has had my car towed, but you better believe it's gonna be the last time.
Oh, and guess who's about to join the HOA? That's right, bitch! MEEEEEE!
I'll see you at the next meeting. Fucking cunt.
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