I've said before and I'll say it again: I have no business working in anything that involves me interacting with people on a "professional" level.
I don't believe that the customers are always right because they are wrong... dead wrong. Not only are they wrong, but hard up for cash and willing to go through extremes to cheat people to get what they want.
I met one of those types of clients last night.
This is what happened:
About 2 weeks ago, I Cornholio's mom had asked me to call a client to schedule their next cleaning appointment. I called the lady and she tells me that she hadn't called to schedule an appointment because her husbands Nintendo DS, some game that was in the DS and the backpack that the DS was stored in, was missing.
She claimed to have called Cornholio's mother 2 weeks after the incident, but that's severely questionable, otherwise I would've heard about it by now, not to mention, why would anyone wait 2 weeks before reporting that something was missing?
Normally, Cornholio's mom will assume liability of these types of things, but only if it's reported 48-72 hrs since the cleaning crew has been there, but considering that these people waited a month to even say something and had a subsequent appointment after the one where they claimed that the DS went missing, Cornholio's mom wasn't about to take the fall for this one and I can't say I blame her.
Oh, and these people were home when the DS went missing.
Cornholio's mom decided to set up a meeting with these people face to face and I ended up having to go.
It didn't take me but 5 minutes to realize that these people are looking a little hard up for cash and the ladies husband is one of those on the down-low gays. Yep, that's right. Her husbands gay and she is completely unaware.
Or maybe she is aware. It would explain why her face looked like a fucking retarded ass frog.
Needless to say, the meeting didn't go so well. She demands that we reimburse her, and Cornholio's mom says we're not liable.
Between the Retarded Ass Frog Ladies nasty little attitude and my ass talking over her and her in the closet, gay husband, I just don't see us coming to any agreement.
They threated us with a lawsuit, and I told them to do their best cause they don't have a case. They can't prove that this DS even existed and if it did that we were liable for its disappearance, not to mention they waited a month to notify us. Anyone they had over could've taken it, it's just easier to blame it on the cleaning people.
Those people don't phase me so I really don't give a shit, but it was really hard to bite my tongue when what I really wanted to do was tell that bitch to go to hell and out her husband.
Oh well... I'm sure she'll be blowing up my phone later today, so I guess we'll just see what happens...
Showing posts with label service. Show all posts
Showing posts with label service. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Coming Out the Closet
I've decided to create yet another Angry Girlfriend public service. Any public service that I come up with after my Close to the Edge Suicide Hotline idea, is going to be hard to beat, but I think I may be on to something with this new service.
This new service will be called, "Coming Out the Closet". Our motto would be something like, "Promoting gayness and helping every gay person come out the closet, one gay person at a time".
Yeah, I know. The motto's a little rough around the edges, but it's a work in progress.
So what's behind this new service, you're probably wondering?
Well, I have a pretty good gaydar. I'd say I'm about 99% accurate.
Some people just have a much harder time coming out then others. So that's where I come in.
I know your gay even when you haven't realized your gay yet. Even though with some people, it should be completely obvious to themselves that they are.
But whatever. Coming out the closet is never an easy thing to do, but the sooner you can come to terms with it and accept it, the better you'll feel about yourself in the end.
Anyways, so I'll have this program for those in serious denial that will help them come out. It'll be called, "Pushing You Out the Closet".
Exactly how the title sounds. I will attempt to push you out the closet by taking you to gay bars, and making you watch homoerotic films. We'll watch Queer as Folk, and soon you'll realize that you have a lot more in common with those gay guys then you do with your own male friends.
Eventually, you'll see for yourself what I always knew... You're gay! Hooray. We'll throw a coming out party and get you a male stripper. It'll be the best time ever.
Obviously, this service is geared towards gay men and not lesbians.
There's a reason for that. My gaydar isn't quite as accurate on females cause woman are evil and manipulative and a lot harder to read.
However, I will be coming out with a Coming Out the Closet program for lesbians, once I'm able to get a better gaydar for them. As it stands, I'm about 80% accurate with lesbians, so I got a lot of work to do.
Bi's don't need a program because we got both ways and no one really cares. They just think we're being greedy.
Oh and bi the way (hehe), men can be bi and not be gay for those of you who believe otherwise. Those of you who have read my blog "Are We All Bi-Curious?", should know where I stand on bisexuality. If you haven't yet. Go check it out.
This new service will be called, "Coming Out the Closet". Our motto would be something like, "Promoting gayness and helping every gay person come out the closet, one gay person at a time".
Yeah, I know. The motto's a little rough around the edges, but it's a work in progress.
So what's behind this new service, you're probably wondering?
Well, I have a pretty good gaydar. I'd say I'm about 99% accurate.
Some people just have a much harder time coming out then others. So that's where I come in.
I know your gay even when you haven't realized your gay yet. Even though with some people, it should be completely obvious to themselves that they are.
But whatever. Coming out the closet is never an easy thing to do, but the sooner you can come to terms with it and accept it, the better you'll feel about yourself in the end.
Anyways, so I'll have this program for those in serious denial that will help them come out. It'll be called, "Pushing You Out the Closet".
Exactly how the title sounds. I will attempt to push you out the closet by taking you to gay bars, and making you watch homoerotic films. We'll watch Queer as Folk, and soon you'll realize that you have a lot more in common with those gay guys then you do with your own male friends.
Eventually, you'll see for yourself what I always knew... You're gay! Hooray. We'll throw a coming out party and get you a male stripper. It'll be the best time ever.
Obviously, this service is geared towards gay men and not lesbians.
There's a reason for that. My gaydar isn't quite as accurate on females cause woman are evil and manipulative and a lot harder to read.
However, I will be coming out with a Coming Out the Closet program for lesbians, once I'm able to get a better gaydar for them. As it stands, I'm about 80% accurate with lesbians, so I got a lot of work to do.
Bi's don't need a program because we got both ways and no one really cares. They just think we're being greedy.
Oh and bi the way (hehe), men can be bi and not be gay for those of you who believe otherwise. Those of you who have read my blog "Are We All Bi-Curious?", should know where I stand on bisexuality. If you haven't yet. Go check it out.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Close to the Edge
I've heard many times and from many different people, that I would be the last person that they would want to talk to if they were ever on the verge on committing suicide.
Apparently, I'm a real asshole, and whatever comes out my mouth would more then likely make you wanna just end it all.
I was talking to Too-Tall when she make the comment about bad about feeling like a slut. To which I replied, "well at least you know that you're a slut", which is probably more then likely not what she wanted to hear, but you know the saying, "If it looks like a slut, and acts like a slut..."
Suddenly I got this idea. What if I were to create a profession where I could convince people to commit suicide. Like a Suicide hot line. Only instead of helping them, I'd push them over the edge.
I know to a lot of people, this is probably not funny, but most people who really want to kill themselves, get it right the first time around.
If you're on your 3rd or 4th attempt, then either you're not trying hard enough or you're just looking for attention... the wrong way.
A much better way to get attention would be to sell crack to a bunch of elementary school kids and then call the police and give an anonymous tip. You'll surely end up on the news that way. Or you can just simply sign up for a reality TV show. Most of the people who are on reality TV show, are attention seekers. If they hadn't of invented reality TV, most of those people would have been on their 4th or 5th attempt at suicide by now.
So how would one of these "Over-the-Edge" phone calls with me sound like. Let's take a look at several examples.
Example #1. Attention seeker:
Here we have Jill, who is 24-years-old, 50 lbs over weight, and feels less then attractive:
Jill: I wanna kill myself cause I'm so fat and ugly. No one wants to go out with me and everyone I know, hates me!
Me: Jill, how fat are you?
Jill: What? What does that matter? I feel so ugly and disgusting.
Me: Wow, you must be the size of a mammoth!
Jill: Oh my GOD! How could you say that to me?
Me: Jill, you're losing focus. You want to kill yourself cause your fat, ugly, and pathetic. Go on...
Jill: Hey, wait. I never said I was pathetic...
Me: Well, you're fat an ugly, right? Just thought I'd throw in pathetic as a bonus.
Jill: Gosh, you're really mean...
Me: Jill, stay with me here. You want to kill yourself, remember?
Jill: Ye... Actually, no, not really. I just wanna go lie in bed with a bowl of ice cream.
Me: Good idea. Eat your fat ass to death. Very creative. I like that.
Jill: You're such a bitch. I'm hanging up.
Me: Wait, Jill. Don't forget to add tons of chocolate syrup and sprinkles. The more you eat, the quicker you'll die.
Jill: Asshole. (click)
Example #2. Another Attention Seeker:
Here we have Jack, who is a 35-year-old man. He's caught his wife cheating on him with his brother:
Jack: (sobbing) I just found out that my wife of 7 years has been cheating on me with my brother. I'm so stupid. How could I not have noticed? I'm a pathetic loser. I'm going to kill myself.
Me: How long has your wife been fucking your brother?
Jack: Fuck, do you have to say it like that? About 5 years.
Me: Fucking, sucking, licking, sticking. What does it matter how I say it? You're wife's a whore and you're a dumb ass.
Jack: Hey, don't call my wife a whore. And I'm not a dumb ass!
Me: Oh yeah? Then what do you call a guy who didn't realize that his wife and brother have been fucking for 5 out of the 7 years that you two have been married?
Jack: Oh my God! You're right! I am a dumb ass. I have no reason to live.
Me: Yeah, well you are a loser. Most guys would've been like "fuck that bitch", yet here you are crying like a little bitch. You're a sorry excuse for a man. How about you take the bitch way out, and pop some pills.
Jack: I'm not a bitch! And I'm not gonna die like one!
Me: Whatever you say, bitch...
Jack: You know what? You're a bitch!
Me: I see someones balls are starting to grow back. But you're still pathetic.
Jack: You're such a fucking little cunt. Fuck you!
Me: You know what? If you were really a man, you'd go talk your bullshit to your slutty wife who's probably fucking the shit outta your brother right now as we speak.
Jack: YEAH! I'm gonna give that bitch a piece of my mind! I'll be damned if she tries to screw me on some alimony!
Me: Have fun with that.
Jack: Yeah, thanks. (click)
Example #3. A Real Suicidal Person:
So I'm just waiting around for the phone to ring. Still waiting. But guess what? The suicidal person isn't gonna call. Do you know why? Cause he's already dead.
People who want to commit suicide aren't gonna call me, or any hot line for that matter. Do you know why? Cause they aren't looking for attention like the attention seekers. They want to die and nothing is gonna get in their way.
Suicide is usually an impulse decision which why only 12%-20% of people who commit suicide even bother to leave a note.
So I guess technically, I wouldn't be in the business of pushing people over the edge. I'd be in business for getting people to realize that they're stupid, pathetic, self absorbed assholes, who aren't gonna really hurt themselves because they don't really want to die. They just want attention.
Besides, everyone knows that when you commit suicide, you'll only end up in some kinda purgatory that can be described as kinda like where we are now, only worse. Don't know what I'm talking about? Go see Wristcutters: A Love Story.
Why don't you attention seekers just go and sign up for a reality TV show, like all the other normal self-absorbed, attention seeking assholes do?
Apparently, I'm a real asshole, and whatever comes out my mouth would more then likely make you wanna just end it all.
I was talking to Too-Tall when she make the comment about bad about feeling like a slut. To which I replied, "well at least you know that you're a slut", which is probably more then likely not what she wanted to hear, but you know the saying, "If it looks like a slut, and acts like a slut..."
Suddenly I got this idea. What if I were to create a profession where I could convince people to commit suicide. Like a Suicide hot line. Only instead of helping them, I'd push them over the edge.
I know to a lot of people, this is probably not funny, but most people who really want to kill themselves, get it right the first time around.
If you're on your 3rd or 4th attempt, then either you're not trying hard enough or you're just looking for attention... the wrong way.
A much better way to get attention would be to sell crack to a bunch of elementary school kids and then call the police and give an anonymous tip. You'll surely end up on the news that way. Or you can just simply sign up for a reality TV show. Most of the people who are on reality TV show, are attention seekers. If they hadn't of invented reality TV, most of those people would have been on their 4th or 5th attempt at suicide by now.
So how would one of these "Over-the-Edge" phone calls with me sound like. Let's take a look at several examples.
Example #1. Attention seeker:
Here we have Jill, who is 24-years-old, 50 lbs over weight, and feels less then attractive:
Jill: I wanna kill myself cause I'm so fat and ugly. No one wants to go out with me and everyone I know, hates me!
Me: Jill, how fat are you?
Jill: What? What does that matter? I feel so ugly and disgusting.
Me: Wow, you must be the size of a mammoth!
Jill: Oh my GOD! How could you say that to me?
Me: Jill, you're losing focus. You want to kill yourself cause your fat, ugly, and pathetic. Go on...
Jill: Hey, wait. I never said I was pathetic...
Me: Well, you're fat an ugly, right? Just thought I'd throw in pathetic as a bonus.
Jill: Gosh, you're really mean...
Me: Jill, stay with me here. You want to kill yourself, remember?
Jill: Ye... Actually, no, not really. I just wanna go lie in bed with a bowl of ice cream.
Me: Good idea. Eat your fat ass to death. Very creative. I like that.
Jill: You're such a bitch. I'm hanging up.
Me: Wait, Jill. Don't forget to add tons of chocolate syrup and sprinkles. The more you eat, the quicker you'll die.
Jill: Asshole. (click)
Example #2. Another Attention Seeker:
Here we have Jack, who is a 35-year-old man. He's caught his wife cheating on him with his brother:
Jack: (sobbing) I just found out that my wife of 7 years has been cheating on me with my brother. I'm so stupid. How could I not have noticed? I'm a pathetic loser. I'm going to kill myself.
Me: How long has your wife been fucking your brother?
Jack: Fuck, do you have to say it like that? About 5 years.
Me: Fucking, sucking, licking, sticking. What does it matter how I say it? You're wife's a whore and you're a dumb ass.
Jack: Hey, don't call my wife a whore. And I'm not a dumb ass!
Me: Oh yeah? Then what do you call a guy who didn't realize that his wife and brother have been fucking for 5 out of the 7 years that you two have been married?
Jack: Oh my God! You're right! I am a dumb ass. I have no reason to live.
Me: Yeah, well you are a loser. Most guys would've been like "fuck that bitch", yet here you are crying like a little bitch. You're a sorry excuse for a man. How about you take the bitch way out, and pop some pills.
Jack: I'm not a bitch! And I'm not gonna die like one!
Me: Whatever you say, bitch...
Jack: You know what? You're a bitch!
Me: I see someones balls are starting to grow back. But you're still pathetic.
Jack: You're such a fucking little cunt. Fuck you!
Me: You know what? If you were really a man, you'd go talk your bullshit to your slutty wife who's probably fucking the shit outta your brother right now as we speak.
Jack: YEAH! I'm gonna give that bitch a piece of my mind! I'll be damned if she tries to screw me on some alimony!
Me: Have fun with that.
Jack: Yeah, thanks. (click)
Example #3. A Real Suicidal Person:
So I'm just waiting around for the phone to ring. Still waiting. But guess what? The suicidal person isn't gonna call. Do you know why? Cause he's already dead.
People who want to commit suicide aren't gonna call me, or any hot line for that matter. Do you know why? Cause they aren't looking for attention like the attention seekers. They want to die and nothing is gonna get in their way.
Suicide is usually an impulse decision which why only 12%-20% of people who commit suicide even bother to leave a note.
So I guess technically, I wouldn't be in the business of pushing people over the edge. I'd be in business for getting people to realize that they're stupid, pathetic, self absorbed assholes, who aren't gonna really hurt themselves because they don't really want to die. They just want attention.
Besides, everyone knows that when you commit suicide, you'll only end up in some kinda purgatory that can be described as kinda like where we are now, only worse. Don't know what I'm talking about? Go see Wristcutters: A Love Story.
Why don't you attention seekers just go and sign up for a reality TV show, like all the other normal self-absorbed, attention seeking assholes do?
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