I am pretty frustrated with my whole job situation, or lack there of. I really need a job with some sort of reliable paycheck. I had hoped that I would be working soon after earning my Associates degree because we’re broke as hell and really need the money to catch on the bills, but that thus far, just hasn’t been the case.
I have posted my resumes everywhere from monster.com to dcjobs.com and everywhere else in between. I haven’t received any phone calls or emails from any of the potential employers that I was hoping would hire me. I'm certain that this is because they notice right off the bat that I only have an Associate degree that isn't worth the god damn paper it's printed on, and no experience in the field I'm applying for.
The funny thing is, I actually believed that earning my degree, even if it was only a 2-year degree would help me land some kind of decent job, but I've come to see how wrong I was.
I finally came to realize that there is a very valid reason for why people lie on their resumes.
People have been lying on their resumes for probably just as long as the whole idea of creating a resume was thought of to begin with. Now what really pisses me off about the whole resume thing is that I know I’m lying off my ass, and I’m just as certain that the employer is aware that I’m lying my off my ass, so what exactly is the purpose of creating this whole resume to begin with?
Obviously, not everyone lies on their resume. There are some people who have legit resumes, but those people also tend to be middle aged and have probably already lied on their resume at some point and time of their lives. In all honesty, I think that maybe about 90% of people lie on their first resume. After all, we do all start off with no job experience. It’s not like we’re born into the world already working so you got to start somewhere.
So then the dilemma becomes that they job seeker has no prior job experience and the job they want requires that they have at least a year or sometimes more experience in the field.
So what are you to do? Well, they’ve kind of put you in a situation that you’re going to have to lie. What other choice do you have? You can’t just send in a blank resume, or a resume that only gives your educational background.
No, no. Employers want to see that you’ve actually held a job, which is why they probably ask you for references in the first place, although I’m sure the employer is well aware that your references most likely include your aunt, uncle and grandmother.
And yet, we continue to play this game. I continue to edit my resume for the type of job I’m looking for, and the employer will ask me questions about my past employer just to see if I’m good at lying under the spot light and can remember all the lies listed on my resume.
If I get all my lies right during the interview then I have a pretty good shot at being hired. If I stumble and forget things, then I’ve just discredited myself as a potential candidate since I’ve just proven myself to be a bad liar.
It’s a shame that this is how the game works since most people only need but one chance to prove themselves as being more then capable of doing a job correctly and efficiently regardless of educational background. But we’re all not that lucky enough to get that one chance. So for all of us out there who haven’t been able to get that break we need to excel, we will continue to lie on our resumes until you let us get at least one foot in the door.
In the heat of the moment of my frustration, I placed an ad on craigslist.com in the resume section. I doubt that it will help any in my job search, but after looking through all the other boring resumes, I’m sure that mine will stand out and give at least give someone a good laugh.
This is what I posted: