Thursday, August 7, 2008

Because You Breathe

I'm tired of sucking dick. It was fun and gravy but I feel that 75% of the time, it goes unappreciated.

So I've been avoiding it. But Cornholio catches on to these types of things. Not the part that I'm feeling unappreciated, but the part that I don't want his penis anywhere near my mouth.

Then he finds ways to trick me so I feel bad about it.

It goes something kinda like this:

Him: So... don't you wanna suck it?

Me: Ummmm, no not really?

Him: You sure? Cause it's right here...

Me: Yeah, I'm sure.

Him: Why are you being so mean?

Me: (mumble) Because you breathe...

Him: What did you just say?

Me: Nothing...

Him: You said something. I heard you...

Me: No, I didn't say anything...

Him: Yes, you did. You said, because I breathe. You want me to die? How could you say that?

Me: No, no. You misunderstood. I said because you peed. Because you peed, not breathe. I don't wanna suck your penis because you just peed.

Him: You peed in my food again didn't you? What have I ever done to you, for you to treat me so bad?

Me: Calm down! You're over reacting... I haven't done anything to your food.

Him: You're trying to kill me aren't you?

Me: Don't you think that's a little extreme? Why would I want to kill you?

Him: Because I breathe...

Me: For the last time... I said because you peed, not breathe... Dammit! Fine I'll suck your dick!

Him: Ok... if you insist...

Mother fucker! Gets me out of guilt every time. What a conniving little fuck.

Of course, this all really my fault. I just can't help but to say something fucked up. It's all just one big set up.

What a fucking prick.


Anonymous said...

pretty funny, LOL. sometimes I feel the same way about my bf. i'd never say it, but i know what u mean.

Average Joe said...

LOL you give up the battle to easy, thats the reason he continues to do the same thing.