Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Still In Bitch Mode

I'm still in bitch mode from that little stunt that the Evil Slut Whore tried to pull on me yesterday, but then again I always seem to be in bitch mode, so I guess what I should be saying is that I'm in bigger bitch mode.

I've lost my cell phone somewhere in the house... I think. The battery is completely dead so calling it serves no purpose and whenever I finally so find my phone, I'm gonna have to put out some money to buy a new battery since lately my battery life is no more then 10 hours. 12-14 hours on a really good day. Really sad, ain't it?

I'm horny as hell and The Boyfriend wont give it up cause his eyeball hurts. Its all red and ugly and it's just nasty to look at.

Oh, and I realized on Sunday that having sex with a person wearing sunglasses does absolutely nothing for me. I actually find it to be a real turn off, and kinda creepy. I wonder if Chiba, from Miss Rap Supreme, keeps her glasses on while fucking since shes got that whole issue with her eyeball and everything.

Speaking of Sunday, I think I offended some Jew with the help of my friend Shorty. I didn't know he was a Jew, I actually thought he was Middle Eastern, so I kept referring to him as a terrorist.

Before I go on, need I remind you that I am an equal opportunity racist. I'm am equally racist against everyone, my own race (spics) included.

So anyways, the Jew made the comment that he didn't find those kind of jokes funny, to which I replied, "I've got terrorist friends, so it's okay".

He finally corrected me and Shorty by telling us that he was a Jew and that he thought that stereotypes and racism were not funny, to which I kept insisting that it was. Shorty made a comment to the Jew, "Well sometimes I'm really cheap. I guess that's the Jew in me".

We both started laughing hysterically, and so the Jew, probably more then a little fed up with us, walked away.

Were we a little drunk?... Abso-fuckin-lutely. Not that it probably made that big of a difference anyways. We tend to always insult people, whether we're drunk or not. And do you know why? Because we're a bunch of assholes.

We just happen to say what most people think, but don't have the balls to actually say it. Like the black police man who I kept referring to as a nigger. Now I realize that that's the biggest racist no-no.

It's worse then calling Mexicans, or any spic for that matter, a wet-back or cheap labor (How much you wanna bet that some dude name Juan built your deck or did your drywall?). Worse then referring to all people from the Middle East as Terrorist. Worse then calling White People gringos, crackers, etc. and worse then calling a Jew cheap (even though they are).

But the funniest part about that, was not the fact that I had had the balls to call him a nigger in the first place (after all, I did refer to my own uncle as a nigger), but the fact that he kept denying that he was black!

He claimed to be of Native American ancestry and white. Last time I checked, Native Americans weren't black, nor are white people (hence the word white).

I asked him if he had ever seen what he looks like in the mirror cause from where I was standing he sure as hell looked like a black man to me. But he continued to deny being black.

Maybe his white mom met some black guy at a bar and had sex with him, then pinned it on her drunk Native American husband, who probably never even realized that he had a black son cause he was always fucking trashed.

I'm probably way off, but it would explain why the black guy thinks that he's not black.

Oh and I forgot the part about Habibi, who more then likely wasn't really Indian, but sure as hell did look like an Indian. Anyways, Habibi was a friend of my uncle, who I found passed out in one of the guest bedrooms.

I, being agitated at this, kept trying to wake Habibi, which isn't his real name by the way, by screaming "Since when the hell does 7-11 close? Get your lazy, curry eating ass up and get me a slurpee!".

Some people are probably reading this while shaking their heads, thinking "What an ignorant ass bitch". Believe me, I'm in no way ignorant, but I sure do like playing the part. And I'm always a bitch so that pretty much goes without saying.

Anyways, enough racism and stereotypes for one day. Being an asshole sure is fun!


Anonymous said...

OMG, ur a freakin nut!!!

I could never say things like that 2 people, but youre right about people thinkin it but not sayin it.

youre so crazy!!! LMAO

Anonymous said...

you're kinda of an asshole
i like it
it kinda turns me on

You Gots 2 B Kiddin said...

how does your bf put up with u?
are u even mentally stable???
who does shit like this??

Anonymous said...

If they only knew ur bf is a more subtle version of u lol

Being black and arab, I don't mind the racism at all my love. it makes it easier when other people say it for real to just point and laugh.

Solay Amor said...

If you knew her in person or her boyfriend, you'd know that he's cool as hell. Real laid back and quiet.

Her on the other hand, is really loud and outspoken. Some people can't handle the fact that she jokes so openly about racism, but believe me that's all she's doing.

You either love her for it and join in, or you hate her and that's a rap.

Angry Girlfriend said...

I tend to laugh and point at those who assume that my parents 'no speaki di inglesh bery gud' or that I have 5 kids by 4 baby daddies, etc., etc, etc.

But hey, stereotypes come with the territory. You either make fun of it and laugh or sit around and pout.

I'll go with option number 1.

Angry Girlfriend

Anonymous said...

I cant even count how many mentally disorders you must have to even take the time to type this up.

1. your man is a brave one. specially after the chicken incident.

2. you being an asshole has been established. its only new to people you havent met yet.

3. why are men attracted to people who require straight jackets?(next blog topic.)