When going on long road trips, it's best to go when you don't have a massive case of diarrhea. If, however, you choose to go, bring extra toilet paper in case you have to make an emergency stop on the side of the Interstate.
Also bring diaper rash ointment. It helps take the sting from a firey asshole after shitting all day.
Avoid traveling while menstruating. We don't want to pull over every 30 minutes just to make sure you haven't leaked anywhere. Not to mention that more than one woman menstruating at the same time tends to create that "period smell".
Children of all ages, are highly annoying. Avoid bringing them along whenever possible.
Always carry at least $30-$40 in cash for tolls.
If you're from the MD/DC/VA area, don't bother asking for Mambo Sauce at the Chinese Carry-Out in some other state. The people there will look at you as if you're crazy and more then likely will ask you, "What the hell is Mambo Sauce?".
If you have low profile tires on your car, change them, especially if driving in Pennsylvania or any other state with bad roads.
These road trip tips have been brought to you by Angry Girlfriend. Keep watch for more tips and feel free to post some of your own tips.
I totally fucked up my tire this past weekend and it sucks. Oh and the diarrhea thing really sucked, too.