I've noticed that a lot of people have been reading my blogs lately. Seems like the more controversial I become, the bigger the crowds come flocking in to read all my random bullshit.
Some people, I'm sure, are reading my bullshit about racism and are probably thinking that I must be the biggest asshole around. Let me assure you that, all though that may be true, I am equally racist against everyone.
Here's an example of a typical conversation between me and some of my friends just to give you an idea of what I'm really like:
Example #1: A typical conversation between me and my Central American friend, Shorty:
Me: Hey, Whore.
Shorty: Hey, Slut.
Me: Hey Shorty, I need my house cleaned. You think your mom is free this weekend?
Shorty: Hey Angry, do you think your mom can teach me how to build a boat?
Me: Hey Shorty, I think a baby just fell outta your vagina.
Shorty: You know you wanna lick my vagina.
Me: Yes.... yes, I do...
Then we start making out and touching each other inappropriately.
Example # 2: A typical conversation between me and Too-Tall a.k.a. spigger who is half-Colombian Coke Whore and half-Crack Whore (in other words, she half spic and half black):
Me: Hey, Vagina.
Too-Tall: Sup, Vagina.
Me: I see you got most of the kinks out your "gud-her".
Too-Tall: Don't be mad cause my pubic hair is finer then the hair on your head.
Me: Hey, Too-Tall. Wanna know how I know that God doesn't like black people?
Too-Tall: Oh, shit. Here we go...
Me: Cause he put pubic hair on their head. Hey, ain't you half black?
Too-Tall: Bitch, I'm bout to kick your ass!
Me: And you still wanna fuck me.
Too-Tall: Yeah, you're right... Let's make out...
Then we start making out and touching each other inappropriately.
Example #3: A typical conversation with me and La Terroista, who is my Sudanese friend who I always mistake for being Somalian, or Ethiopian:
Me: I'm going on a trip next week.
La Terrorista: You taking a plane?
Me: Ye... No... No, I'm not.
La Terrorista: One of these days, I'm gonna go to the airport, dressed in a abaya and hejab, and I'm gonna sit by someone and say, "Don't get on that plane". You think they'd get scared?
Me: Thaaat's it... I'm calling Homeland Security!
Then we start to touch each other inappropriately and make out.
Example #4: A typical conversation with my sisters husband, Thug Life, who is black:
Me: Hey, Thug Life. You gonna rob me today?
Thug Life: Shut yo broke ass up!
Me: Hey, can you score me some drugs? Like the good shit. You know, the really gooood shit.
Thug Life: For the last time! I'm not a drug dealer!
Me: It's okay... I wont tell nobody...
Thug Life: Oh my goodness.
(Hollas at my sister).
(At my sister)If you don't get your crazy ass sister away from me, I'm bout to...
Me: You bout to what? You gonna pop a cap in my ass?
Thug Life: Shut yo ass up! Damn!
My Sister: You know she's just fuckin with you. Just ignore her. Maybe she'll go away.
Me: THUG LIFE!!!
Eventually I get bored and move on to other victims.
Example #5: A typical conversation with my friend, Powder, who is white;
Me: Why do you white people like being orange? Is it cause you wish you were black.
Powder: Why would anyone wish to be black?
Me: Oh my God! You're such a racist!
Powder: Me! I was just kiddin. You say way worse things then that all the time! So how am I racist?
Me: Cause you're white, thats why! I'm not white, so I can say whatever the hell I want.
Powder: That's not fair!
Me: Yeah, well blame it on your white ancestors. Wanna make out?
Powder: Yeah, sure.
Then we start making out and touching each other inappropriately.
Example #6: A typical conversation with China, who is Japanese:
Me: I'm bout to call the Chinese carryout. Can you order cause I don't know what that bitch be saying?
China: Neither do I...
Me: Stop playing. You're Chinese.
China: I am not Chinese. I'm Japanese, dammit!
Me: Same difference. Just order me some Generals Tso's chicken and a...
China: I just told you that I'm not fucking Chinese. We don't even speak the same language, unlike all you Mexicans and Puerto Ricans, or whatever the hell you're from.
Me: Hmmm, you make a good point. But all you people end with "ese". Chin-ese, Japan-ese, Vietnam-ese, Korean-ese...
China: Their called Koreans, not Koreanese.
Me: Well they should be Koreanese cause they have slanty eyes like the rest of you...
China: God, you're an asshole...
Me: And you still love me... Let's make out...
Then we start making out and touching each other inappropriately.
So I bet you're all wondering, why would anyone want to be my friend when I'm such an asshole? The answer is obvious.
It's because I'm fucking awesome!!!
Seriously though, it's because racism is everywhere you go. You can't avoid it. And you know what? It's funny. Yes, that's right. Racism is funny. You can either laugh at it and join in, or be a little bitch about it.
You know when you repeat the same word over and over and over and you've said it so many times that it's lost its meaning?
Well I believe the same thing can be done about racism. When you keep hearing the same bullshit over and over again, it loses meaning to the point that it means shit.
Some people think that by making racist statements is just adding fuel to the fire, but you can't add fuel when you're out of gas.
Just my opinion.
So go out there, take the sticks out your assholes, and lets all laugh, point and make fun of each other!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Still In Bitch Mode
I'm still in bitch mode from that little stunt that the Evil Slut Whore tried to pull on me yesterday, but then again I always seem to be in bitch mode, so I guess what I should be saying is that I'm in bigger bitch mode.
I've lost my cell phone somewhere in the house... I think. The battery is completely dead so calling it serves no purpose and whenever I finally so find my phone, I'm gonna have to put out some money to buy a new battery since lately my battery life is no more then 10 hours. 12-14 hours on a really good day. Really sad, ain't it?
I'm horny as hell and The Boyfriend wont give it up cause his eyeball hurts. Its all red and ugly and it's just nasty to look at.
Oh, and I realized on Sunday that having sex with a person wearing sunglasses does absolutely nothing for me. I actually find it to be a real turn off, and kinda creepy. I wonder if Chiba, from Miss Rap Supreme, keeps her glasses on while fucking since shes got that whole issue with her eyeball and everything.
Speaking of Sunday, I think I offended some Jew with the help of my friend Shorty. I didn't know he was a Jew, I actually thought he was Middle Eastern, so I kept referring to him as a terrorist.
Before I go on, need I remind you that I am an equal opportunity racist. I'm am equally racist against everyone, my own race (spics) included.
So anyways, the Jew made the comment that he didn't find those kind of jokes funny, to which I replied, "I've got terrorist friends, so it's okay".
He finally corrected me and Shorty by telling us that he was a Jew and that he thought that stereotypes and racism were not funny, to which I kept insisting that it was. Shorty made a comment to the Jew, "Well sometimes I'm really cheap. I guess that's the Jew in me".
We both started laughing hysterically, and so the Jew, probably more then a little fed up with us, walked away.
Were we a little drunk?... Abso-fuckin-lutely. Not that it probably made that big of a difference anyways. We tend to always insult people, whether we're drunk or not. And do you know why? Because we're a bunch of assholes.
We just happen to say what most people think, but don't have the balls to actually say it. Like the black police man who I kept referring to as a nigger. Now I realize that that's the biggest racist no-no.
It's worse then calling Mexicans, or any spic for that matter, a wet-back or cheap labor (How much you wanna bet that some dude name Juan built your deck or did your drywall?). Worse then referring to all people from the Middle East as Terrorist. Worse then calling White People gringos, crackers, etc. and worse then calling a Jew cheap (even though they are).
But the funniest part about that, was not the fact that I had had the balls to call him a nigger in the first place (after all, I did refer to my own uncle as a nigger), but the fact that he kept denying that he was black!
He claimed to be of Native American ancestry and white. Last time I checked, Native Americans weren't black, nor are white people (hence the word white).
I asked him if he had ever seen what he looks like in the mirror cause from where I was standing he sure as hell looked like a black man to me. But he continued to deny being black.
Maybe his white mom met some black guy at a bar and had sex with him, then pinned it on her drunk Native American husband, who probably never even realized that he had a black son cause he was always fucking trashed.
I'm probably way off, but it would explain why the black guy thinks that he's not black.
Oh and I forgot the part about Habibi, who more then likely wasn't really Indian, but sure as hell did look like an Indian. Anyways, Habibi was a friend of my uncle, who I found passed out in one of the guest bedrooms.
I, being agitated at this, kept trying to wake Habibi, which isn't his real name by the way, by screaming "Since when the hell does 7-11 close? Get your lazy, curry eating ass up and get me a slurpee!".
Some people are probably reading this while shaking their heads, thinking "What an ignorant ass bitch". Believe me, I'm in no way ignorant, but I sure do like playing the part. And I'm always a bitch so that pretty much goes without saying.
Anyways, enough racism and stereotypes for one day. Being an asshole sure is fun!
I've lost my cell phone somewhere in the house... I think. The battery is completely dead so calling it serves no purpose and whenever I finally so find my phone, I'm gonna have to put out some money to buy a new battery since lately my battery life is no more then 10 hours. 12-14 hours on a really good day. Really sad, ain't it?
I'm horny as hell and The Boyfriend wont give it up cause his eyeball hurts. Its all red and ugly and it's just nasty to look at.
Oh, and I realized on Sunday that having sex with a person wearing sunglasses does absolutely nothing for me. I actually find it to be a real turn off, and kinda creepy. I wonder if Chiba, from Miss Rap Supreme, keeps her glasses on while fucking since shes got that whole issue with her eyeball and everything.
Speaking of Sunday, I think I offended some Jew with the help of my friend Shorty. I didn't know he was a Jew, I actually thought he was Middle Eastern, so I kept referring to him as a terrorist.
Before I go on, need I remind you that I am an equal opportunity racist. I'm am equally racist against everyone, my own race (spics) included.
So anyways, the Jew made the comment that he didn't find those kind of jokes funny, to which I replied, "I've got terrorist friends, so it's okay".
He finally corrected me and Shorty by telling us that he was a Jew and that he thought that stereotypes and racism were not funny, to which I kept insisting that it was. Shorty made a comment to the Jew, "Well sometimes I'm really cheap. I guess that's the Jew in me".
We both started laughing hysterically, and so the Jew, probably more then a little fed up with us, walked away.
Were we a little drunk?... Abso-fuckin-lutely. Not that it probably made that big of a difference anyways. We tend to always insult people, whether we're drunk or not. And do you know why? Because we're a bunch of assholes.
We just happen to say what most people think, but don't have the balls to actually say it. Like the black police man who I kept referring to as a nigger. Now I realize that that's the biggest racist no-no.
It's worse then calling Mexicans, or any spic for that matter, a wet-back or cheap labor (How much you wanna bet that some dude name Juan built your deck or did your drywall?). Worse then referring to all people from the Middle East as Terrorist. Worse then calling White People gringos, crackers, etc. and worse then calling a Jew cheap (even though they are).
But the funniest part about that, was not the fact that I had had the balls to call him a nigger in the first place (after all, I did refer to my own uncle as a nigger), but the fact that he kept denying that he was black!
He claimed to be of Native American ancestry and white. Last time I checked, Native Americans weren't black, nor are white people (hence the word white).
I asked him if he had ever seen what he looks like in the mirror cause from where I was standing he sure as hell looked like a black man to me. But he continued to deny being black.
Maybe his white mom met some black guy at a bar and had sex with him, then pinned it on her drunk Native American husband, who probably never even realized that he had a black son cause he was always fucking trashed.
I'm probably way off, but it would explain why the black guy thinks that he's not black.
Oh and I forgot the part about Habibi, who more then likely wasn't really Indian, but sure as hell did look like an Indian. Anyways, Habibi was a friend of my uncle, who I found passed out in one of the guest bedrooms.
I, being agitated at this, kept trying to wake Habibi, which isn't his real name by the way, by screaming "Since when the hell does 7-11 close? Get your lazy, curry eating ass up and get me a slurpee!".
Some people are probably reading this while shaking their heads, thinking "What an ignorant ass bitch". Believe me, I'm in no way ignorant, but I sure do like playing the part. And I'm always a bitch so that pretty much goes without saying.
Anyways, enough racism and stereotypes for one day. Being an asshole sure is fun!
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Fuck That Bitch
Still coming down from my high from having such a fucking, fantastic weekend, and early morning sex, I get to work and notice a letter addressed to me.
To summarize it, it basically said that my hours were being cut as was my pay rate, and that I was to start clocking in every morning, personal phone calls where to be non existent unless it was an emergency, and a bunch of other irrelevant bullshit.
For those of you who don't know, I work with The Boyfriend's mother. She's not a bad person to work for, at all. Always very considerate of all of her employees, some people might she that's she too nice. I don't take advantage of her kindness because she tends to work herself to exhaustion.
The Boyfriend's sister, Evil Slut Whore, also works with me. Obviously, you can guess by the nickname that me and her don't really get along. You can read more about her dumb ass in this old blog I had posted back in September 2007: On The Verge...
When I had started working for The Boyfriend's mother, it was because the Evil Slut Whore had quit... again.
She tends to have these little temper tantrums with her mom, over the family business, and so she quits off and on all the time.
After her last tantrum, I took her place working in the office and to be honest, I really have tried hard to do my best and do an even better job then Evil Slut Whore because I wanted to prove to The Boyfriend's mom that I was not only more capable but also more reliable for the job.
Well, of course after working for 3 months, Evil Slut Whore wanted her job back and I really believed for a second that I was going to loose my place just because she was the bosses daughter. However, much to my surprise, that's not what happened at all.
Evil Slut Whore was hired back as a driver, which naturally pissed her the fuck off. But of course, her being the way she is, she started trying to act like she was the boss over me, which of course, wasn't gonna happen.
I much rather tell her to go fuck herself then do anything that she asks me to do, which is usually how it plays out anyways.
I humor her from time to time to make it seem like it's all good and then there are days when I straight carry it.
Of course, when I first got to office and read the letter, I was fucking fuming. But I called The Boyfriend's mother and asked her what exactly was going on and why had they written me this letter instead of having the decency to personally address these issues with me.
She informed me that she knew absolutely nothing about the letter, and that it was the Evil Slut Whore who would be paid hourly and had a day cut because she choose to have an extra day off. I was assured that my pay was not being cut and that if I wanted a day off that she could accommodate me, but she was not cutting back on my hours or pay rate.
Of course, after that I figured the whole personal phone call issues was probably brought up cause her ass was jealous hearing me talk about my birthday plans and talking about golden showers with my cousin. Her ass don't have any friends so personal phone calls just don't seem to be much of an issue for her. Don't no one call her but her husband cause everyone else can't stand that bitch.
Man was that a relief to hear, cause I know that by no means, am I a fuck up like that bitch.
Evil Slut Whore called several hours later with some bullshit about God-Knows-What, and I made no mention of the letter, or my conversation with her mother. She's probably smirking right now thinking she got me, but little does she know who got who.
Fucking dumb ass. And with that I say, FUCK THAT BITCH!
Come on now, bitch. I know you didn't think it was really gonna be that easy, did you?
To summarize it, it basically said that my hours were being cut as was my pay rate, and that I was to start clocking in every morning, personal phone calls where to be non existent unless it was an emergency, and a bunch of other irrelevant bullshit.
For those of you who don't know, I work with The Boyfriend's mother. She's not a bad person to work for, at all. Always very considerate of all of her employees, some people might she that's she too nice. I don't take advantage of her kindness because she tends to work herself to exhaustion.
The Boyfriend's sister, Evil Slut Whore, also works with me. Obviously, you can guess by the nickname that me and her don't really get along. You can read more about her dumb ass in this old blog I had posted back in September 2007: On The Verge...
When I had started working for The Boyfriend's mother, it was because the Evil Slut Whore had quit... again.
She tends to have these little temper tantrums with her mom, over the family business, and so she quits off and on all the time.
After her last tantrum, I took her place working in the office and to be honest, I really have tried hard to do my best and do an even better job then Evil Slut Whore because I wanted to prove to The Boyfriend's mom that I was not only more capable but also more reliable for the job.
Well, of course after working for 3 months, Evil Slut Whore wanted her job back and I really believed for a second that I was going to loose my place just because she was the bosses daughter. However, much to my surprise, that's not what happened at all.
Evil Slut Whore was hired back as a driver, which naturally pissed her the fuck off. But of course, her being the way she is, she started trying to act like she was the boss over me, which of course, wasn't gonna happen.
I much rather tell her to go fuck herself then do anything that she asks me to do, which is usually how it plays out anyways.
I humor her from time to time to make it seem like it's all good and then there are days when I straight carry it.
Of course, when I first got to office and read the letter, I was fucking fuming. But I called The Boyfriend's mother and asked her what exactly was going on and why had they written me this letter instead of having the decency to personally address these issues with me.
She informed me that she knew absolutely nothing about the letter, and that it was the Evil Slut Whore who would be paid hourly and had a day cut because she choose to have an extra day off. I was assured that my pay was not being cut and that if I wanted a day off that she could accommodate me, but she was not cutting back on my hours or pay rate.
Of course, after that I figured the whole personal phone call issues was probably brought up cause her ass was jealous hearing me talk about my birthday plans and talking about golden showers with my cousin. Her ass don't have any friends so personal phone calls just don't seem to be much of an issue for her. Don't no one call her but her husband cause everyone else can't stand that bitch.
Man was that a relief to hear, cause I know that by no means, am I a fuck up like that bitch.
Evil Slut Whore called several hours later with some bullshit about God-Knows-What, and I made no mention of the letter, or my conversation with her mother. She's probably smirking right now thinking she got me, but little does she know who got who.
Fucking dumb ass. And with that I say, FUCK THAT BITCH!
Come on now, bitch. I know you didn't think it was really gonna be that easy, did you?
Friday, May 23, 2008
Happy Birthday to ME!!!
So obviously you've figured out by now that this blog is all about me and my birthday (was it the title that gave it away?).
To be honest, I'm feeling a little hung over. I got a head start at celebrating my birthday last night. Very unexpected, but those are usually the best times.
With my hang over, came a massive case of.... can you guess?.... DIARRHEA!
I happen to be very conceited on my birthday and my birthday is always at least, a 5 day event.
The world revolves around me this time of year, every year. I'm sure other people probably feel the same way about their birthdays, but unfortunately for them, it's just not true because no one in the world really gives a damn about their birthdays.
And on that note:
Happy Birthday to ME
Happy Birthday to ME
Other birthdays aren't relevant
Cause it's all about ME!
Who wants to send me a present? I should post a wish list on here so everyone reading this can send me something. Hmmm, I think I just might...
To be honest, I'm feeling a little hung over. I got a head start at celebrating my birthday last night. Very unexpected, but those are usually the best times.
With my hang over, came a massive case of.... can you guess?.... DIARRHEA!
I happen to be very conceited on my birthday and my birthday is always at least, a 5 day event.
The world revolves around me this time of year, every year. I'm sure other people probably feel the same way about their birthdays, but unfortunately for them, it's just not true because no one in the world really gives a damn about their birthdays.
And on that note:
Happy Birthday to ME
Happy Birthday to ME
Other birthdays aren't relevant
Cause it's all about ME!
Who wants to send me a present? I should post a wish list on here so everyone reading this can send me something. Hmmm, I think I just might...
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Say Whaat?
So... four hours later, and I have nothing better to do, then post another blog about my bowel movements.
That is, I was about to take another shit, for like the 10th time today, until this spic lady came knocking at the door. Actually, thats not even relevant to anything.
Then again, maybe it is. She complemented me on my newly, blue-dyed hair, but something tells me that bitch is sneaky and is up to something. Actually, I'm just assuming that she's sneaky cause she's a wetback. You know her ass has crossed a few borders, illegally.
Once again, this is all really not relevant to anything.
I've noticed that its usually harder for me to focus on any particular subject when I'm on my period, which is why I tend not to write anything when I am on my period. I got shit for brains right about now and I'm basically rambling on about absolutely nothing.
You still with me?
Doesn't matter, I'll still ramble on...
So my new project song will be called "The Slut Song". It'll go something like this:
I'm a slut and you're a slut
So lets all fuck
Right up the butt
I like sex right on the grass
and you like sex right up your ass
Lets fuck
Lets suck
Lets do it rough
It's fun
I'm done
So hurry, cum
Anyways, it's a work in progress. And now I'm off to the can... again...
That is, I was about to take another shit, for like the 10th time today, until this spic lady came knocking at the door. Actually, thats not even relevant to anything.
Then again, maybe it is. She complemented me on my newly, blue-dyed hair, but something tells me that bitch is sneaky and is up to something. Actually, I'm just assuming that she's sneaky cause she's a wetback. You know her ass has crossed a few borders, illegally.
Once again, this is all really not relevant to anything.
I've noticed that its usually harder for me to focus on any particular subject when I'm on my period, which is why I tend not to write anything when I am on my period. I got shit for brains right about now and I'm basically rambling on about absolutely nothing.
You still with me?
Doesn't matter, I'll still ramble on...
So my new project song will be called "The Slut Song". It'll go something like this:
I'm a slut and you're a slut
So lets all fuck
Right up the butt
I like sex right on the grass
and you like sex right up your ass
Lets fuck
Lets suck
Lets do it rough
It's fun
I'm done
So hurry, cum
Anyways, it's a work in progress. And now I'm off to the can... again...
Say What?
It's that time of month... again...
I'm on my period and I feel like shit. Bloated, crampy, bitchy, moody, and the other emotions that come with having a period.
I tend to shit a lot more often while I'm on my period. I really don't know why that is, and I really don't care, but I tend to get some of my most creative ideas while I'm sitting on the can taking a shit.
In the time it took me to pull down my pants, take a shit and wipe, I had written a song, which I wont post until I record it. It's a pretty good song though, inspired partly by my anger and rage towards The Boyfriend, but I took it to an angrier level because I was in such a bitchy mood.
This posting really serves no purpose, but I just wanted to share the face that I wrote a song, while on the can, taking a shit, and menstruating.
Oh, and for anyone who gives a flying fuck, my birthday is on Friday. YEH ME!
Feel free to send me a present, or leave me a birthday wish, or at least a fuckin eCard: angrygirlfriend@gmail.com
I'm on my period and I feel like shit. Bloated, crampy, bitchy, moody, and the other emotions that come with having a period.
I tend to shit a lot more often while I'm on my period. I really don't know why that is, and I really don't care, but I tend to get some of my most creative ideas while I'm sitting on the can taking a shit.
In the time it took me to pull down my pants, take a shit and wipe, I had written a song, which I wont post until I record it. It's a pretty good song though, inspired partly by my anger and rage towards The Boyfriend, but I took it to an angrier level because I was in such a bitchy mood.
This posting really serves no purpose, but I just wanted to share the face that I wrote a song, while on the can, taking a shit, and menstruating.
Oh, and for anyone who gives a flying fuck, my birthday is on Friday. YEH ME!
Feel free to send me a present, or leave me a birthday wish, or at least a fuckin eCard: angrygirlfriend@gmail.com
Friday, May 16, 2008
Angry Girlfriend's Top 10 Favorite Types of Porn
I have loved watching porn for as long as I can remember. Maybe cause it turns me on, but who doesn't get turned on by porn? (Other then uptight people who have lame ass, boring sex and think that porn corrupts our youth).
Today, I'm taking the time to mention my top 10 favorite types of porn and why I like them:
1. Gang Bangs
My favorite kind of porn of all time is gang bang porn. I get so turned on watching one girl get fucked by like tons of guys all at once. She's got a dick in her vagina, one in her ass, another one in her mouth, one in each hand, and some dumb ass trynna stick it in her ear.
It's not that I want to get fucked by tons of guys at once, but watching some dirty little slut getting fucked 1,000,001 ways sure does get my clit engorged. It's really hot.
2. Barely Legal
Oh yes, that's right. Even woman get turned on by the barely legal teens. Well, I'll speak for myself.
The reason why is because girls who look so you and innocent, and who have very limited sexual experience, if any, are fun to corrupt. Hell, I'd like to corrupt a barely legal teen myself. Corrupting people is fun!
3. Asian
I like Asian porn because the woman always sound like their in pain, which for whatever reason, really turns me on. Actually, thats about the only reason I like Asian porn.
4. Lesbian
Girl on girl porn is fun. Especially, when it's 2 barely legal teens who swear that "I've never done anything like this before". Naughty, naughty. Who wants a spanking?
5. College Party
Anyone who's been to a college party has probably seen 2 people get really drunk and probably do things that probably shouldn't be done in public. Drunk people having sex at a party is always a fun thing to watch. Plus, it really turns me on.
6. Sex in Public
Speaks for itself. Couples getting it on like rabbits, anywhere you can think of. Public restrooms, at the office, in the park, etc.
The idea of the couple being caught just really get me all worked up and so turned on.
7. Unlikely Threesomes
What's hotter then watching a couple getting it on at work in the break room, or out at the park? Oooo, I know. Watching them get caught by their spouse... then having the spouse decide that they got so turned on from watching, that they want to join in.
"Here honey, let me show you what she likes".
8. Orgies
Much like a gang bang, but instead of one girl getting fucked by 10 dudes, the male to female ration is a little more even. Still turns me on though.
9. Teacher/Student
Usually an older man with a barely legal teen (remember, corruption is fun!). Besides, who hasn't had this fantasy? Watching it on DVD just makes you have to think less while you masturbate.
"Mr. Smith, if I suck your dick, are you sure you'll give me an A?"
"Oh yea, honey. I'm gonna give you an A alright. A for anal. Bend that sweet ass over".
10. Home Movies
Who hasn't wondered what their friends of family look like having sex. Most people, at one time or another, have recorded themselves on film having sex. I've seen a videos of some of my friends having sex, and even pictures of certain family members who I won't mention, just in case they decide to read this.
I also, like watching my own home movies. I think having sex is a good look on me.
Today, I'm taking the time to mention my top 10 favorite types of porn and why I like them:
1. Gang Bangs
My favorite kind of porn of all time is gang bang porn. I get so turned on watching one girl get fucked by like tons of guys all at once. She's got a dick in her vagina, one in her ass, another one in her mouth, one in each hand, and some dumb ass trynna stick it in her ear.
It's not that I want to get fucked by tons of guys at once, but watching some dirty little slut getting fucked 1,000,001 ways sure does get my clit engorged. It's really hot.
2. Barely Legal
Oh yes, that's right. Even woman get turned on by the barely legal teens. Well, I'll speak for myself.
The reason why is because girls who look so you and innocent, and who have very limited sexual experience, if any, are fun to corrupt. Hell, I'd like to corrupt a barely legal teen myself. Corrupting people is fun!
3. Asian
I like Asian porn because the woman always sound like their in pain, which for whatever reason, really turns me on. Actually, thats about the only reason I like Asian porn.
4. Lesbian
Girl on girl porn is fun. Especially, when it's 2 barely legal teens who swear that "I've never done anything like this before". Naughty, naughty. Who wants a spanking?
5. College Party
Anyone who's been to a college party has probably seen 2 people get really drunk and probably do things that probably shouldn't be done in public. Drunk people having sex at a party is always a fun thing to watch. Plus, it really turns me on.
6. Sex in Public
Speaks for itself. Couples getting it on like rabbits, anywhere you can think of. Public restrooms, at the office, in the park, etc.
The idea of the couple being caught just really get me all worked up and so turned on.
7. Unlikely Threesomes
What's hotter then watching a couple getting it on at work in the break room, or out at the park? Oooo, I know. Watching them get caught by their spouse... then having the spouse decide that they got so turned on from watching, that they want to join in.
"Here honey, let me show you what she likes".
8. Orgies
Much like a gang bang, but instead of one girl getting fucked by 10 dudes, the male to female ration is a little more even. Still turns me on though.
9. Teacher/Student
Usually an older man with a barely legal teen (remember, corruption is fun!). Besides, who hasn't had this fantasy? Watching it on DVD just makes you have to think less while you masturbate.
"Mr. Smith, if I suck your dick, are you sure you'll give me an A?"
"Oh yea, honey. I'm gonna give you an A alright. A for anal. Bend that sweet ass over".
10. Home Movies
Who hasn't wondered what their friends of family look like having sex. Most people, at one time or another, have recorded themselves on film having sex. I've seen a videos of some of my friends having sex, and even pictures of certain family members who I won't mention, just in case they decide to read this.
I also, like watching my own home movies. I think having sex is a good look on me.
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