This year for Cinco de Mayo, my original plan was to go out to happy hour so I could make fun of all the people there who buy Margaritas and think to themselves, "Look at me! I'm so down with the Mexican people cause I'm like sitting here drinking a Mexican drink on a Mexican holiday in a Mexican restaurant and I got Mexican workers working on my yard and building me a deck".
But I didn't go out. Instead, I stayed home, had a buddy come over and we drank a 24 of Corona so we could feel down with the Mexicans, too (well, technically, my friend doesn't have to try to be down with the Mexicans since shes half Mexican).
We drank more for a lot less and talked a lot of shit about the people who were out at Don Pablos, Chevy's or any of those other "Mexican" restaurants that really aren't that Mexican at all.
I think we all know what Cinco de Mayo is really all about... It's another bullshit holiday that gives us an excuse to get randomly drunk. Kinda like St. Patricks Day only instead of little green midgets there a big ass hat that you throw on the floor and dance around it while singing "La Cucaracha".
I'm not really sure if anything I just typed really even makes sense since I'm still recovering from what ever the hell that little Mexican lesbiana did to me, but yea... Good times...
Did you know that Asians install house alarms? Yeah, I know... It's weird right?
This little Asian guy is actually kinda funny. He kinda reminds me of an Asian Carlos Mencia, only like Asian and works for Brinks Security.
And he didn't get offended when I made a comment about him eating the cat (which he claimed he was allergic to... Yeah, right... I'm sure he wants all his client with cats to think that he's allergic so that we'd be fooled when the cats ends up missing... Clever little Asian...)
Yea so ummm... yeah
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