Monday, May 18, 2009

Birthday Plans

With my birthday just a few days away, I have yet to plan out anything, which is rare for me because everyone who knows me knows that I treat my birthday as it was a national holiday.

The celebration has never been any less then 4 days long and before I had the Boy Son, my birthday use to run for 2 whole weeks. Of course, I wasn't working at the time and I could always find some poor idiot who would be more then willing to foot the bill for me and my friends to party that long.

For some reason, I just cant seem to get my thoughts together long enough to figure out what the hell I'm going to do to celebrate.

I took off time from work to party and yet, I have no plans.

I have figured out this much:

Friday - I have to hit up the strip club. Why? Because I like watching naked girls dancing erotically around a pole.

It's hot and it turns me on.

Saturday (my birthday) - Now this is where things get a little sketchy. I'm not a big club person because I don't spending a lot of money getting drunk. I'd much rather go shoot pool or go to a house party, or even stay home and getting drunk for cheap.

I did get invited to another birthday party at a club, but I'm so vain, I don't like to share the spotlight so that's definitely not going to work.

Sunday - Another sketchy day. I could either be recovering from a massive hangover from the night before if I can manage to get my shit together or I could have a cookout because I didn't get wasted.

Monday - Yet another sketchy day. Either recovering from Sundays hangover or I could have the cookout. I should probably go to the pool sometime during the weekend assuming its warm and doesn't rain.

Now if I have a cookout on Monday, that means I'd be hungover on Tuesday and I don't know if that's really gonna work for me.

So you see the little dilemma I've got going on here. Not only am I indecisive, but everything really weighs on whether or not I'm hungover the day before.

It's very complicated.

If anyone has any advice or ideas or even wants to come and hang out, I'm willing to hear you out.

Send me your ideas to:

Penis, Vagina...

There was really unnecessary, but I really just needed to get it out....

Broccoli mixed with rotting egg, smelling flatulence passing through the rectum...

Ok, I'm done now...

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