Wednesday, September 10, 2008

I've Been Very Naughty... Again...

After the whole craigslist thing, I decided that I was curious to see what would happen if I tried combining 2 of my favorite passtimes together: placing bogus ads on craigslist and pretending to be a white promiscuous slut on yahoo who only chats with Indians.

So I placed yet another ad on craigslsit (yea, I know I said I'd stop... so I lied, get over it). This was the ad:

Looking for a Virgin - w4m - 35 (maryland)

Reply to: [?]
Date: 2008-09-10, 10:59AM EDT

I am a hot, attractive and very experience 35 year old woman whose ultimate fantasy is to have sex with a virgin.

I would prefer someone who is foreign to the country, like possibly Indian or African. I like the idea of corrupting people who aren't use to the concept of sex with no strings attached.

However any virgin will do. My only requirement is that you be at least 21 years old or older.

Yet again, it didn't take long for my inbox to become flooded with emails. Unfortunatly, this time around my ad was flagged after only 20 minutes. However, that was all the time I needed to get caught up being naughty again. So here we go again for the 2nd time this week. Fuck, it's only Wednesday. What the hell is wrong with me?

So here goes another set of collection of emails with my replies. You'll notice that this time it was a little harder to shake one of the guys off. Guess it took him a while to figure out that maybe my offer wasn't as appealing as it sounded:

Email #1:
I am hoping this post is real. i'll do anything, anything to be with you and have you corrupt me. i am 26 years old virgin, middle eastern, fooled around but i have never had an intercourse, i have been looking for an older lady to teach me, show me what good sex really is , i have been looking for ages but i either blowed some opportunities or wasn't lucky enough, i hope i am luck enough today. please reply soon, you don't know how much i want this.

I have more pics if you want, i'll send them . can't wait to join you in your fantasy and have my fantasy and yours cum true... reply soon.

My Reply:
How have you managed to stay a virgin so long??? Ur sooo super sexy. You've got a quality about you that reminds me of borat, hes so hot, but you're hotter. You look soo manly and I know that you could really put it down on me once I show you how to do it.
My vagina just got soo wet lookin at you and I just cant wait to take advantage of your little foreign ass.
I'm gonna email you my picture when I get out of work so u can see what I look like. I think u'd be pleasantly surprised.
In the meantime, let me tell you about what kinda things i like sexually.

I am a very kinky... I like to have my hair pulled, ass smacked, nipples pinched till they turn red. I wanna tie you up to the bed and tickle you with feathers, then pour hot wax on you and rip out all your chest hairs one by one. I'll pull down you pants, blow on ur dick and make you hard, then smack it till it goes soft again. I'll blow u again and get u hard, then I'll put my wet dripping pussy right on top your dick and glide down. I'll fuck the shit out of u and smack you hard while I'm doing it. I wanna stick a cork screw up ur ass or maybe something longer and thicker like a cucumber, because your about to become my bitch.... I'm so excited to meet up with u....

His reply back:
oh my god . you have no idea how much i am longing for this. how much i want it soo bad .. and how much i want you so bad, i can't wait to see your pic when you get out of work , and also to know your address so i can come over and get the fun started.

as i told you , i just don't know how i didn't get laid till now, it was always no luck even with some compliments i get from other girls and like yourself. i want us to fuck soo hard and soo long as i always dreamed of . you have no idea, how much i am looking for this.

My cock is so hard just thinking about you and what you told me we will be doing. I want you to take full advantage of me, baby. do anything you want.

looking forward to seeing you soon.

My reply back:
I've got sooo many things that I want to do to u... I'm gonna sit on your face and your gonna lick up all of my vaginal fluids... i may squirt in your mouth so be prepared to drink it like its water. I'm gonna please both your penis and your asshole because I know that you would love to have me shove things up your ass once i pop your penile cherry.

I hope that you don't mind the taste of my vagina cause I've heard that there it has a tart taste and a rather unpleasant smell. But other then that I think we could have a lot of fun together.

I think its best if we met up at your place or at a hotel because my ex-boyfriend is still currently living with me and he would more then likely be upset that I brought another man over to the house, unless he was also invited to join in.

His reply back:
I think it'd be good to get a room in a hotel as i have roommates living with me now and i just wanna have you totally for me tonight, so we can get all wild and crazy together, forget the whole world while in bed with each other, I can't wait till you do every single idea you have on mind... i won't mind your vaginal juices at all. i am sure i will love them . tell me. baby , do you shave down there? would you like to shave my pubic hair ?
I just keep thinking of you and get harder and bigger , i wanna have you tons of times. you sound like lots of fun and i am sure we will enjoy each other to the fullest, i just hope you ill be patient with me ...

what area should we get the hotel room at ??

My reply back:
great! so hotel it is... u never told me what area u live in so I can have some sort of clue of where to get us a room.
my pussy is sooo hairy its like a wild african forest. My pussy hairs are soo long I could braid them if I wanted. My last boyfriend would always complain about my long pussy hairs because I refused to shave, but I know you'd love to suck on my super engorged clitoris and pussy hairs.
We could shave your pubic hairs if you like cause sometimes my pussy hairs get tangled with other peoples pubic hairs and then we get stuck together which isnt alot of fun when you havent showed in 3 days.

I look forward to hearing from u... be sure to let me know what area ur close to so i can get a room..

His reply back:
i live in fairfax, VA .. .. i was thinking i will shave it for you but i forgot the "me" part in that scentence, hehehe . i am so hairy right now , i don't mind us getting tangled together down there. ofcourse , i would like to suck on your clitoris and everything you have ...

what time do you get off work ? and what time do you think we can meet ? i have a car and can drive to any hotel or place in the area..
where do you live/work ?

i can't wait to be with you, babe

My reply back:
I'm gettin sooo wet just thinking about u... Keep all ur pubs for me, I'll shave them for you when you come and see me.
I sent u my pic... its a nude so u can see exactly all of this juicy, plumb, goodness that you'll be gettin... I hope we can meet up on Friday cause i'm stuck in meetings today and tomorrow....
mmmm I just can't wait to see u in person cause thinking about you has got me clitoris errected!

His reply back:
oh baby, i wanna lay my hands on your .. i'll keep them for you to do whatever you want with them .. are you going to be off on friday? i hope you are so we can enjoy each other the whole day,
i am just getting so horny and hot now , you have idea how much i want to suck on that clitoris of yours, i can't wait to see you in person too. my cock is soo hard thinking about you too!!

My reply back:
I hope this means u loved my pic... I have to work Friday but I'll try to take off from work just for you...
I can't wait to pour hot sauce all over you're penis and watch u scream as it burns, then suck it all off... I'm gonna make u fuck my asshole with a baseball bat while you're eating my smelly cunt, and then once I come hard on your forehead, I'll let you stick you're little prink inside my moist batting cage.

Cant wait!!!! muuuuuuuah

His reply back:
mmmmmmmmm, you are soo wild you know that ?
is your name , Jez??
i wanna know the name of my new lover. are you gonna do all this things to a virgin who never felt a real pussy grabbing his dick and pleasing it ... i don't mind getting wild , soo soo wild with you , i like every single wild idea u told me about today, i wanna pull ur hair and pull ur vaginal hairs and spread the lips wild as i eat your cunt ... take off from work, baby , we both need this soo much ..

My reply back:
Yes, my name is Jez
I"m so exited to be with u, i think we'll have a good time... I hope that u dont mind going bareback.... I don't want to use a condom because i'm allergic to latex and condoms tend to get tangled in my long pubic hairs and get stuck. It really hurts.

I've been tested for std's and the last time I checked, all I had was genital warts and a mild case of gonorrhea. Nothing too serious, so it's no big deal...

I think you're gonna love the warmth of pussy. Dont get too startled if u see white specks in my pubic hairs... Its just a mild case of pubic lice which is why we should defiantly shave yours off.

His reply:
Jez, I am just wondering if you have pubic lice why don't you shave so it'd be easier to cure.

Are you taking any medications ?

My last and final reply:

Shaving leaves razor burns that make my pussy look like its infected with herpes.

I promise you wont get my pubic lice as long as we shave off all of your pubic hairs... believe me, I've had sex with lots of guys and none of them ever got my pubic lice... only chlamydia

Email #2:
I am Indian Asian Male . I am 30yo clean professional male. I work in IT in silver spring.
Let me know if you want to meet.
wait for your reply

My reply back:
I'm gonna send u a pic when i get home from work... I know u'll love my sexy body... my face, not so much... but i know u wont mind...

I got soo wet when I saw the pic of your virgin penile shaft. My vaginal canal is dripping with cherry red juices, i'm sure you dont mind a little blood on your dick. I just tend to get so much hornier during my time of month.

I'm gonna suck you dry and then have u fuck me from behind while I reach back and pull harshly on your testicles. I wanna beat your balls like a punching bag.

Theres gonna be soo much blood running from my vagina that its gonna look like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre when I'm done with u.... oooo yea... mmmm... cant wait to get me a piece of ur sexy habibi ass...

His reply back:
wait for your pics . you really sound horny.

My reply back:
Here's my pic... its a nude... i figured u wouldnt mind since we're going to gettin very intimate very soon!!!
I'm so horny for your erected penile to enter this think ass, punani... u are going to be in heaven as I suffocate u with all my body weight...

It'll be ecstasy... leave me your number so I can call u later. muaaahhh baby
Email #3:
Hi ,
It's embarrassing to say i am a virgin and i am 28. I have been monk all my life. and just released. I am here in US to pursue education. I am a good looking indian. Write to me .

My reply:
mmmm a virgin monk... thats soo naughty... u and me need to have a play date...
are u still a monk? I'd love to get under you monk dress and blow your brains out.
are u up for anything because i would to get my strap on and fuck u before you fuck me...
that maybe a little too much for u since u've never had sex, but I would love for you to stick you virginal monk penile shaft deep into my dark, moist, bat cave.
Who knows what might come crawling out of there since its been a while since i've had sex too. But it's like riding a bike, u never fall off.
I'm gonna put the death grip on your man organ and u'll be stuck to me like glue until I release u. I'd like for you to blow your load on my lips so I can kiss you and we both enjoy the taste of your seaman together.
I have a trick that I do with my vagina that i could show u afterwards... I like to shoot m&m's from my vagina. I have very good vaginal control and I think you would much appreciate it.

In case you're all wondering, this is the pic that I sent all of my "potential suitors":
You can see more of her here: Big Sophie.

I actually learned something doing this... Even on craigslist, Indians are way more interesting... Perhaps it's because they're English sucks and so they assume that everything I say is normal.

It could also be that their desperation to loose their virginity out weighs common sense and so they play the game longer then a normal sex-deprived man would.

Not even a picture of an overweight porn actress could deter these men.

I really need to find a better hobby then taunting sexually deprived, sexual deviants on the internet.

See how far a degree in psychology has gotten me?

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