Monday, September 22, 2008

Angry Girlfriend Gets Married???

So the rumors have it that I got hitched.

It's true... don't ask. Like everything else in my life, this was an impulse decision. I have no reason whatsoever for getting married, I simply did it cause I can.

On the plus side, I'll now be able to legally take half of everything Cornholio owns. On the negative side, I now can't impulsively marry a woman in Canada if I ever make that trip up north.

Oh well... C'est la vie...

You can't have it all...

Since some of you are probably wondering, I'll say this much:

The bride wore a pair of ripped jeans, a black t-shirt from Old Navy and a pair of New Balance sneakers.

No one really cares about what men wear so I'll leave that part out since its really irrelevant.

The Grooms sister had this much to say:

To which I say, yes, yes I did force him to get married... and penetrate my anus with his penis... and to perform and receive oral sex... and give me a facial...

Yes I admit it... I forced him to do all those things... I'm such a horrible person.

Cunts like that shouldn't even be allowed to have an opinion, let alone breathe. What a fucking dumb ass cunt... But enough about that. It's not really relevant to anything anyways.

So yep, I got married and had sex in this really super big hot tub. I also gambled and lost $60 in Atlantic City ($60 is a lot when you're poor).

On a completely irrelevant topic, my asshole itches. I know that no one cares to hear that and I should probably just scratch it, but I really enjoy sharing this type of information with people.

Who wants to come scratch it?

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