Big Changes

I'm actually in the air flying to Las Vegas this very moment. Maybe I'm a little slow cause I didn't know they had Wi-Fi on planes.

I didn't realize how hard leaving was going to be until the Boy Son started crying that he didn't want leave Frijolero behind. It broke my heart when he kept screaming that he wanted to go home.

We had both sat down with him weeks ago and explained to him that me and him were going to be moving to Las Vegas and that Frijolero would be saying behind and he seemed fine with the whole thing, he was even somewhat excited... until today.

I guess the reality of it all hit the little guy and well, lets just say, I'm not exactly his favorite person at the moment.

I know that in time he'll adjust to the changes, but it still sucks.

Hopefully, he wont stay mad at me for too long, and as long as Frijolero keeps an active role in the Boy Sons life, I think he'll be ok.

Good-Bye, East Coast

I haven't really told too many people that I'm leaving the east coast and heading out west to Sin City.

I don't think that I've even bothered to mentioned that me and Frijolero are separating, more then likely, for good. I would go into detail but there's really not much to tell. It was sudden and random, pretty much like everything else in our relationship. So there you have it.

I'm picking up the U-Haul today, packing it up, and sending Frijoleros cousin and his super hot girlfriend to drive my stuff and the dogs to the other side of the country.

I don't have a lot of stuff. Just boxes of clothes, the Boy Sons bed, the dogs, and my stripper pole. I'll be damned if some new hoochie slut rubs her vagina on my stripper pole. It took me 2 years to convince him to buy it for me in the first place!

So that's pretty much it.

I would've love to do the drive cross country again, but we can't all fit into the U-Haul truck, so I'll be flying out on Saturday.

Good-Bye, East Coast! I know I'll be back since we all know the East Coast has the best beaches *cough* Miami.

Well I guess I have to come back regardless since Frijolero does live here and Boy Son is obviously going to have to come back from time to time to visit.

So good-bye for now, but I'll be back....

Chinchilla Funeral

As some of you may know, my chinchilla, Echo a.k.a Chinchilla a.k.a. Tila Tequila, passed away on Sunday, August 16, 2009.

It was a sudden death and we're not really sure why she died. I suspect that she died of a broken heart because Frijolero has decided to end our marriage and we're separating. (Consider this the official announcement).

Like any other loving pet owners, we had a funeral for her.



It was a real labor of love. It fucking took me like an hour to dig a whole big enough to fit the whole shoe box she was getting buried in.



I'm gonna miss that little fucker with all her soft fur and sharp little teeth and all the weird noises she use to make in the middle of the night.

I'll miss how I was always saving your ass from the so-called "friends" you had who were always threatening to skin you alive just to make a partial scarf or coat from your super soft fur. Oh wait... Those were my friends who did that.

All the same, I miss your little hairy butt. So sad...

Here's to you, my little bundle of fur.

In Loving Memory of Echo a.k.a., Chinchilla a.k.a., Tila Tequila

c. 2008 - August 16, 2009

My Job Sucks

It's no secret that I hate my job. It's gotten so bad that I think I may actually, physically be allergic to working or at least, working where I'm currently working.

Sounds crazy, right?

But it's true...

Everyday, I go to work, and everyday, no more then 30 minutes after arriving, I start getting a headache which gets progressively worse throughout the day. Then there's this nauseating feeling that I get, which makes me feel like shit.

And everyday, as soon as I leave, I suddenly feel better again.

I should just quit... But then I'd have no money... And that would suck...

I've been doing some job searching because I really starting to feel stressed out. Everyday, I come in to work to face the Evil Troll who attempts to bark orders at me while I'll sit there and ignore her existence.

Not to mention the evil clients and their stupid lies and bullshit. You know damn well that I told you that you were going to have to pay $125 to have your house cleaned and not the $80 you keep trying to get away with. If you wanna bitch about the price then I suggest you stop fucking calling me to schedule you a fucking appointment, because I really don't give a fuck about you getting your damn house cleaned.

You're the asshole who decided that you were too fucking busy, or too fucking important to get your hands dirty to clean your own damn house. If you can't afford it, then I suggest you make the time or find some illegal who doesn't know any better.

It's a pretty fucked up thing when you have to take Benedryl everyday when you get to work. But it's the only thing that stops the headaches and the nausea.

My conclusion: Without a doubt, I'm allergic to my job. It's either the job or the Troll, either way, I really need to find a new job ASAP.

Preferably, in Las Vegas. And within in the month or 2. Anything before then is a also a huge plus. FUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK.

Non Drunk Friendly Products

While I was in Vegas, I had several issues with certain items while I was drunk.

This inspired me to comply a list of Non Drunk Friendly Products.

Non Drunk Friendly Product #1:
Fergalicious Tennis Shoes by Fergie


Real cute to look at. Not so cute to walk in.

I had walked no more then 2 blocks down the strip when I started to feel the blisters forming on the bottom of my feet. I knew I was going to do something really fucked up to those shoes by the end of the night if I was completely inebriated, or even if I wasn't.

At some point, when I was super wasted, I threw the shoes in some bushes as I screamed in my drunken stated, "You suck! Go fuck yourself!".

My sister in her inebriated stated apparently retrieved the shoes with the intent to keep them, but then gave them back 3 days later.... I wonder why?

Final Verdict: This product is Non Drunk Friendly. Hell, it's not Sober Friendly. These shoes fucking HURT!

Non Drunk Friendly Product #2:
Palm Centro by Palm

It's a great phone while you're sober for the most part, but it takes a while to get use to it.

If you're a phone time user, you probably shouldn't try to use this phone while you're drunk.

While I was asleep (past out) on the floor in the bathroom at the Bellagio Hotel, my sister attempted to use my phone to call her husband who had disappeared in the casino.

The first problem she encountered was that she couldn't remember his number which has absolutely nothing to do with the phone itself. So she decided to call our mom. But she couldn't figure out how to get to the screen to dial numbers (there are several different ways).

Somehow, she accidentally calls Frijolero (of all people) who's back on the East Coast. It was 3:30 am Vegas time so back home it was 6:30 am.

She didn't realize that she had called him and was still dialing numbers when he answered the phone. Quickly figuring out that she was drunk, he hung up and called back. She answered with a sigh of relief, "Thank God you called cause I couldn't figure out how to call people on this damn phone", not realizing that she had actually called him first.

He didn't bother to tell her that she had actually called him first and hung up called our mom and eventually, we got out of there, but no thanks to the Palm Centro.

Final Verdict: The phone is User Friendly if you're sober, but even a familiar sober user would have issues using this phone while drunk. A first time user should never attempt to use this phone while inebriated.

Non Drunk Friendly Product #3:
Lighter by I don't know who the hell makes this damn lighter

Drunk people probably shouldn't be using lighters to begin with, but when you have pull the thing down to make it work its pretty much drunk proof.

At least, I had issues making it work while trying to light a cigarette, therefore making it Non Drunk Friendly.

I never did get the lighter to work and I never did get that cigarette which in retrospect was probably not a bad thing considering that cigarettes tend to push an already drunk person over the edge of drunkness.

Final Verdict: I have no issues with this lighter while I'm sober, most of the time. But once I'm drunk, it's definitely Non Drunk Friendly.

From here on out, I think I'm going to just keep tabs on products that are Non Drunk Friendly and post them as I come across them.

If any one has a story of a Non Drunk Friendly product, send me your story and I'll post it. Us drunk people gotta stick together, lol.

Send stories and pictures of the Non Drunk Friendly Product to angrygirlfriend@gmail.com

Cross Country: Colorado - Nevada

Finally, the final part of the road trip from Colorado through Nevada.

Colorado:
(Not my picture, but I guess that's what happens when you let incompetent people take pictures for you while you're driving).

Took more pictures in Colorado then anywhere else that we drove through. The roads were all twisty turny and it took a while to get use to the altitude and driving up and down the mountains.

I guess you could say that it was very mountainy.

But I really wanted to stay there.

There was some part where it started to turn all deserty before crossing into Utah that we stopped to eat Chinese and it was fucking awesome!


Better then anything I've ever eaten back home. But then again, I live in a shithole... Or so I thought until I reached Utah, but I'll get to that in a minute.

Colorado was amazing and I'm definitely going to plan a trip to go back there.

Utah:
OMG, WHAT A SHITHOLE!

Nothing but endless miles and miles of deserty desert. No signs of life and endless possibilities to hide dead bodies.

Utah must be a serial killers utopia. Even the dumbest of killers could get away with the perfect murder in Utah.

I wouldn't be surprised if every single missing persons remains ended up in Utah. It's the one place no one would ever bother to look and even if they did they would never find a body.

Driving through I-70 West, no of us had any cell phone service for over 5 hours. Not to mention that we never even saw a cop car. Not one. And other then truck drivers, there were barely any other cars passing through.

No wonder those polygamists people got away with having sex with 14-year-olds for so long. There's no one out there to stop them.

Utah was absolutely miserable. I was so miserable that I wanted to either kill myself or kill other people, which led me to the conclusion that Utah breeds suicidal serial killers.

Nothing but hundreds of miles of this:
Just about every Interstate exit had no service stations and at one point there was a sign that stated that "No Service Station Next 100 Miles".

Just like that. No warning at the last service station or nothing.

100 miles later when there were suppose to be service stations you still had to drive 25 miles away from the Interstate just to get to it.

I did manage to come up with a fabulous idea about Utah.

What if, we moved the few people who do live in Utah and turned the whole state into a giant correctional facility for all the dangerous inmates, pedophiles, and rapist?

They could all ass fuck and kill each other and if they try to escape, it's ok because they'd probably die out in the desert before making it anywhere near civilization anyways.

Oh, and the people I encountered there were miserable assholes. Except for the one drunk at the gas station between the border of Colorado and Utah.

He was nice but admittedly stated that living in Utah was miserable and there's nothing to do but drink all day cause his life sucked.

That little skanky bitch that worked at the Wendy's was a complete bitch and rightfully so. After all, you do work at a Wendy's in the middle of the desert and you're ugly. That's 3 strikes. Boy must your life suck.

Arizona:
Arizona is very canyony. But we didn't drive through Arizona long enough for me to form an opinion about the state except for that it was canyony.

Nevada:
I was kind of pissed when I saw the State line sign blocking the Welcome sign. What dumb ass came up with that idea?

Anyways, my adventure out here is only beginning so there's not much to tell you thus far. But I can't promise to keep you all updated on everything I do.

You know the saying, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas".

Cross Country: Illinois-Nebraska

So I'm just getting around to updating everything that happened on my trip across the country.

So here are the highlights of my trip Illinois through Nebraska.

Illinois:

We pretty much drove straight through Illinois with nothing eventful happening.

Iowa:

I had a lot of mean things to say about Iowa, like how there was nothing but farm land and highways with no lights. It was very farmy.

There was a sign for a Rock Museum which I thought was pretty lame but if that's all they had to offer.

There was also a sign that proclaimed that the bridge of The Bridges of Madison Square County was located somewhere in the vicinity.

I was in shock and disbelief when we passed an Adult Super Store in the middle of a cornfield that stated it was open24/7 which I thought was both odd and creepy.



It left me thinking that the men of Iowa have nothing better to do then shoot the shit at sex stores while the women were all apparently adulterous whores.

However, before crossing the border from Iowa into Nebraska, we stopped at a McDonalds.

I had ordered the Boy Son a happy meal but he was upset that he didn't get the toy he wanted.

I was in absolute shock when the lady behind the registered asked him which toy he wanted and then went to go find it for him.

Something like that would've never happened back home because all the McDonalds employees are so disgruntled and angry that they work at McDonalds.

When we were leaving, I was in shock again as they offered us free bottle water for the dogs and even offered to give us a bowl to give it to them in.

Iowa may not have much to offer, but the people there are ridiculously nice.

Nebraska:

More farmy land for miles and miles. I was getting pretty sick of seeing endless cornfields and cows.

We passed a slaughter house which was full of fat cows just waiting to be killed and eaten.

They looked absolutely delicious and I actually contemplated pulling over and stealing a cow so I could kill it and eat it.