Saturday, July 25, 2009

Non Drunk Friendly Products

While I was in Vegas, I had several issues with certain items while I was drunk.

This inspired me to comply a list of Non Drunk Friendly Products.

Non Drunk Friendly Product #1:
Fergalicious Tennis Shoes by Fergie

Real cute to look at. Not so cute to walk in.

I had walked no more then 2 blocks down the strip when I started to feel the blisters forming on the bottom of my feet. I knew I was going to do something really fucked up to those shoes by the end of the night if I was completely inebriated, or even if I wasn't.

At some point, when I was super wasted, I threw the shoes in some bushes as I screamed in my drunken stated, "You suck! Go fuck yourself!".

My sister in her inebriated stated apparently retrieved the shoes with the intent to keep them, but then gave them back 3 days later.... I wonder why?

Final Verdict: This product is Non Drunk Friendly. Hell, it's not Sober Friendly. These shoes fucking HURT!

Non Drunk Friendly Product #2:
Palm Centro by Palm

It's a great phone while you're sober for the most part, but it takes a while to get use to it.

If you're a phone time user, you probably shouldn't try to use this phone while you're drunk.

While I was asleep (past out) on the floor in the bathroom at the Bellagio Hotel, my sister attempted to use my phone to call her husband who had disappeared in the casino.

The first problem she encountered was that she couldn't remember his number which has absolutely nothing to do with the phone itself. So she decided to call our mom. But she couldn't figure out how to get to the screen to dial numbers (there are several different ways).

Somehow, she accidentally calls Frijolero (of all people) who's back on the East Coast. It was 3:30 am Vegas time so back home it was 6:30 am.

She didn't realize that she had called him and was still dialing numbers when he answered the phone. Quickly figuring out that she was drunk, he hung up and called back. She answered with a sigh of relief, "Thank God you called cause I couldn't figure out how to call people on this damn phone", not realizing that she had actually called him first.

He didn't bother to tell her that she had actually called him first and hung up called our mom and eventually, we got out of there, but no thanks to the Palm Centro.

Final Verdict: The phone is User Friendly if you're sober, but even a familiar sober user would have issues using this phone while drunk. A first time user should never attempt to use this phone while inebriated.

Non Drunk Friendly Product #3:
Lighter by I don't know who the hell makes this damn lighter

Drunk people probably shouldn't be using lighters to begin with, but when you have pull the thing down to make it work its pretty much drunk proof.

At least, I had issues making it work while trying to light a cigarette, therefore making it Non Drunk Friendly.

I never did get the lighter to work and I never did get that cigarette which in retrospect was probably not a bad thing considering that cigarettes tend to push an already drunk person over the edge of drunkness.

Final Verdict: I have no issues with this lighter while I'm sober, most of the time. But once I'm drunk, it's definitely Non Drunk Friendly.

From here on out, I think I'm going to just keep tabs on products that are Non Drunk Friendly and post them as I come across them.

If any one has a story of a Non Drunk Friendly product, send me your story and I'll post it. Us drunk people gotta stick together, lol.

Send stories and pictures of the Non Drunk Friendly Product to


Anonymous said...

Damn cigarettes itselfs arent drunk friendly, they just snap so now im i always end up with half a pack of filters and filterless cigarettes:P

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