Fun on Craigslist: Who Wants to Be My Boy Toy? Part II

After 3 long weeks, here is the 2nd installment of Who Wants to be My Boy Toy?:

Who wants to be my boy toy? - w4m - 45 (Philly)

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Reply to: mailto:pers-1051638155@craigslist.org?subject=Who%20wants%20be%20my%20boy%20toy%3f%20-%20w4m%20-%2045%20%28Philly%29 ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}
Date: 2009-02-26, 1:51PM EST


I am an older woman who is in much need of a young man to satisfy my sexual desires.

I'm looking for men between the age of 20-30 and with an open mind for a good romp in the sheets.

I am an older attractive white woman. 45 years old. This is the first time I've ever done anything like this, so please bear with me. xoxo

• Location: Philly

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Victim #1:
Hey I saw your ad on craigslist and I am interested in hooking up
I am 23 y/o, 5'7", I have black hair, dark brown eyes, slender build with abs, and an average length, really thick girth, cut cock. I am drug and disease free. I am clean, safe, and sane. I can cum multiple times and I do have stamina (in and out of bed), and I love to try new things. I do have a slightly dominant side. I would love to meet and enjoy you asap.
I can come to you or we can do car dates and we MUST BE DISCREET.
I live in NE Philly.

I would love to give you that thick hard cock. I would love to pleasure you every day and every night and make sure that you are sexually satisfied and fulfilled.

My Reply:
Oh My...

You sound quite thrilling...

Discretion is definitely a BIG thing for me as I am still married to that old, impotenet, wrinkled, moron.

I swear, if the old bastard wasn't so loaded, I would've left his sorry herpes infested ass years ago.

It's been about 3 years since I've had my hairy, dry pussy stuffed by a large and swollen egg roll, so I am definitely ready. You're "slightly dominant side" may be a bit of a problem though.

There can only be one bitch in this game dear, and I'm afraid that that's going to have to be your role, not mine.

His Reply: at is fine I will not be dominant and I will fuck you the way you want to be fucked and I will make you cum hard by eating you out

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Victim #2:
What's up? I'm 23, good looking and in great shape and have always fantasized about being an older woman's boy toy to be used how she pleases. I'm clean, d/d free, relaxed and respectful, and am very open minded. Let me know if you are interested!

My Reply:
Honey, if I wanted a respectful man, I'd fuck my husband.

I'm interested in young wild buck who will fuck me silly and help me clear out the old bat cave of cobwebs.
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Victim #3:
20. Kid dynamite. I have a heart for older women.

My Reply:
You are absolutely adorable... Are you into role playing by any chance?

After all, I am old enough to be your mommy... Someones been a bad boy... You need a spanking... You naughty, naughty child...

With your naughty, naughty, sexual desires... I'm going to spank you really nice and hard.

Then I'm going to make you suck on my battered and beaten clitoral lips. I want to grab you hard penile shaft and ram it into the back of my throat. Then I'll let you get behind my dusty old cook and ram that cock in there like a brand new jack hammer.

Hope you don't mind the smell of moth balls as it has been quite a while since I've put the ol' gal to use. She's like a retired pony on its last leg before it gets shot. But I still got it, and I'm gonna give it to you good.

Don't be frightened by the mouse trap thats been set into my vagina. Its been set up there to collect semen.

His Reply:
I'm naughty but bite back.

Pics and details. I'm always bad

My Reply:
oh no sweety, there is no biting mommy.... Or mommy is going to have to bite you itty bitty testicles as punishment.
I'm going to tie you up, naughty boy, and pour honey all over you...

You like that huh?
Then I'm going to put ice cream sparkles all over your body and let the dog come and lick it all off of you.

MMMMM, dont you want to be a naughty boy for mommy?

His Reply:
bite my testicles as punishment, cover them in honey and bite down hard.

I'll be a naughty boy for mommy. Just name a time and place
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Victim #4:
hey there,

saw your posting on craigslist. 30/s/w/m here from the philadelphia surburbs. love older woman, and very eager to please. would love to romp those sheets with you.

get back to me if interested, i have pics to share ;) hope to hear from you

My Reply:
mmm you want to romp in the sheets with me...

you are gonna love the this old nasty cunt brings you penile ecstasy.

its been so long since since my menstruating cunt has had its fill. hope u don't mind the blood or the smell but I'm soon to be reaching menopause and I want to enjoy every menstrual cycle till my eggs all dry up.

when are u available to meet up?

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Vitctim #5:
U In Luck I'm Looking to be a boy toy call my phonne if u like wat u c

My Reply:
I've never had black penis before... my husband would kill me if he ever woke up from his coma. he told me many times in the past that he could forgive me for infidelity as long as it wasn't with a negro (excuse the term but he's really old and it's probably safe to assume that he is racist.)

Personally, I think that his insecurities stem from that ever long rumor that black men have bigger penile members (my husband is only about 5inches on his best days)

I think that a young buck like you could possibly be exactly what this ol' gal needs to climax and get some of those old cockroaches out of the old bat cave. You could be my young stallion and I could be your master. I could tie you up and whip you until you became tamed and called me your Master.

I'd like to spoil you and have you do things to me that no men has ever done before. I've always had a fetish for sticking foreign objects into my vaginal cake but as of yet, I've found no one else to share that hobby with me.

I know that sex is a lot different now then when I was younger in terms of people being more open to try new things, so I'd love to do a lot of new experimental things with you. I've considered asphyxiation, too. What do you think?

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Victim #6:
I attached my pic if you like hit me back with yours....I've never done this either but its an incredible fantasy of mine.....we could have alot of fun......I love using my tongue....

Eric

My Reply:
No one even said that I've never done this before... In fact, I do it all the time. This is the rave of the century. My son is about your age. It was he who suggested that I start looking for new sexual partners on the internet, now that my husband is in a coma.

I once had this pleasant little Vietnamese boy who was perhaps just barely 19-years-old. He lived and shared my bed for almost a month until he discovered my husband bedroom and saw him lying there on his respirator. (This was before the coma).

Ohhh how I miss my little Phuc.... Anyways, enough about that

Tell me about yourself... What kind of things are you into?

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Victim #7:
I would love to be your boy toy. 36 yeord man. I am married and need more I do not need to change my life I want to feel in gaps that have become emptied. I am very oral by the way, if you know what I mean. ;) This is the first time i am reading this so i can understand you.

Best Wishes
VK

My Reply:
i am also married to an older and useless bag of worthless, impotent man. just looking at him naked makes me want to hurl. hes is quite unattractive though his bank statement is quite lovely. and hes got more decaying flesh rotting off of his stench filled body then the crypt keeper.

I suck his impotent dick once a month just because I hope that eventually one of those times he'll die from a heart attack. Enough about him. I havent had sex in my old saggy vagina in quite some time so I'm looking forward to some nicer penis with out all the elephant wrinkles... could you be that one to satisfy me?

His Reply:
I can see your dilemma. I would love to be the one to satisfy you if you give me a chance. As I said before I am so very oral. I would love to make you cum with my tongue. You said this is the first time you are writing and this is the first time I am reading an ad. SO I think we can be on the same page. I think there is no need for us to change our lives but to help eachother find what we are missing. There are so many things in our lives that this arrangement maybe really good for both. Lets findout where it leads. hope to hear from you soon.

Best WIshes
VK

My Reply:
I would just like to inform my that my husband found out about our little rendezvous plans thanks to that fucking Asian slut-of-a-whore housekeeper of mine. Who knew she could actually read English? Shes' been so spiteful ever since she found out that $5 a day is way below the minimum wage. I ought to have that fucking bitch deported.

But to hell with that. On the plus side, that old wrinkled bastard would like to join in out fun, or rather he's interested in having relations with you as I watch.

So when should we meet?
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Victim #8:
hello
36 old goodlooking greek i live in atlantic city i can host..
..love 2 eat ur pussy n suck ur hornny wet clit..i'll fuck ur clit with my lips and make cum n cum in my face..
love unshave pussy with fat wet pussy lips and hard clit...hung greek cock and big shooter 4 u baby
please call me 215 499 ****.. or just txt me 4 pic
john..

My Reply:
lovely because I am extremely unshaven and have a wild bush like the amazon...
you can be my little pet turtle and i will call you long john dung. i know that you would love a taste of this old coots vaginal scabies and lice. your a little dirty boy and i'm gonna spank your little dirty ass.

His Reply:
its morning.. i love sex in morning..
i like ur email its soooo sexy just like ur wet pussy..my dick soooo hard now ..thinking of u
sitting on my face..my tongue licking ur clit and asshole..my fingers in side ur horny pussy..and ur
cuming in my face 4 ever...
please tel me u r going to call 2nit..i love darty phone sex....
im working today..from 12;00 to 8;00 pm..
let me know what time u going to call me ..must be after 8;00 pm...
i live alon a im single n safe..
your greek lover..
john xoxo


My Reply:
I want to ride you like a pony train and shoot grape flavored jolly ranchers out my pussy into your mouth. maybe skittles so you can tell people that you've tasted the rainbow.

I will sit on ur face and u can eat my dripping wet, gonorrhea infected clit until I squirt my syphilis juice in your eyeball.

you can finger me until I orgasm orange anal secretions..

His Reply:
can u call me..
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I think there may be another installment but who knows. I still have a lot of emails that I either didn't read or haven't had a chance to post the replies.

All the same, I'll propably start doing these posting at least once a month now that I have internet at home again. And I'm sure they will be even more interesting since chances are, I'll be slightly inebriated, hehe.

Those are always the best...

Fun on Craigslist:: Who Wants to Be My Boy Toy? Part I

I posted this ad in Philadelphia. I figured that I've gotta explore in different areas to see if all men are equally as desperate and will play along with twisted responses.

Turns out they will...

This time, I decided to switch things up and make myself an older woman. I'm usually pretending to be in my early 20's. This time I decided to hike up the age to 45 and I played the role of a cougar.

So here is my Philly ad:

Who wants to be my boy toy? - w4m - 45 (Philly)

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Reply to: pers-1051638155@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}
Date: 2009-02-26, 1:51PM EST


I am an older woman who is in much need of a young man to satisfy my sexual desires.

I'm looking for men between the age of 20-30 and with an open mind for a good romp in the sheets.

I am an older attractive white woman. 45 years old. This is the first time I've ever done anything like this, so please bear with me. xoxo

• Location: Philly

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Victim #1:
Hello i am 24 male maple shade. Black. 6 foot 1 and kinda stocky wit sexy kissable lips. Do u have a pic or yahoo? Let me know so i can be sure u r real. I can host here or in camden most nights and weekends.. Ttyl

My Reply:
is stocky a nice way of calling yourself a fat ass?

its ok, i dont judge on weight... i'm just so happy to finally be gettin some penis... well, hopefully...
i like fat people actually because theyre always nice... ugly people too...

i think i like you... you honest, fat, and probably could make me cum..

My husband is the worst fuck around... if it wasnt for his little impotence issue, i probably wouldn't have become an alcoholic.

So tell me young stallion, what do you think you could do to me that would make my toes curl and the spiders come running from out of my vagina.

His Reply:
lol. wow... u are a handful. well let me start off by getting a pic from you and describing more about how u look to me... then i can let you know what body parts i will do what to and how i will do to you. u have a husband so that means we can be discreet. and i liek that. i am sort of engaged myself, she doesnty live with me tho. do you mind coming to maple shade new jersey for our secret pleasures? definately send a pic and a yahoo or aim screename so we can chat

My Reply:
Honey, I'm cutting your fat ass a break by even considering letting u fuck me to begin with. I'm not going to drive out of my way to fuck to Pillsbury Dough Boy, fat man.

You need to bring something to the table, and I don't mean food. You're probably fat enough as it is...
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Victim #2:
I'm 36, which is older than your upper age range. But, I'm totally blind from birth, highly intelligent, intensely musical and a blast between the sheets. Will you give me a chance?

My Reply:
How in the hell are you sending me an email if you're blind? Do you need to be able to see in order to type?

Are you some type of modern Rain Man? No, that would make any sense. Rain Man was autistic, not blind. Stevie Wonder... There you go...

Doesn't matter I suppose. Darling, I'm going to make a slight confession. I may have partially fibbed about my age.

I'm not as young and vibrant as I may have claimed to be. I'm just slightly older. But considering the fact that you're blind anyways, I doubt that you could really tell the difference.

After all, if you're tried one pussy, you've basically tried them all. My vagina may not be as tight as it once was, and I may not be attractive in a conventional manner, not that it matters considering that you are blind, but I could definitely teach you a thing or two.

His Reply:
No, babe. I use a normal keyboard and type the same way fast sighted typists do, by touch. Your verbally colorful emails are read to me in synthesized speech by a screen reader called Window-eyes. I actually met him once and played beside him at the same piano. This was during my Freshman year at New York's LaGuardia high school. Tell me, how old are you exactly? Do you honestly think all pussies are identical? They sure don't all taste the same. Well, I'm here and horny. So, teach me as soon as you want.

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Victim #3: I am 20, I live in Philly looking for some fun. I want to be your boytoy.

My Reply:
lovely. u sound spectacular.

how big is your cock? I'm an older woman with a bit of experience so let me tell u what I'm into.

I'd like to tie your penis to your testicles and pinch your nipples with nipple clamps. you will perform oral sex and suck on my spectacular labia that has aged like a fine wine and now resemble something that I could only describe as elephant ears.

I will cut the string holding your penis and testicles in place and you will slide your gracious penile shaft into my ever so moist, loose, cunt. does this sound pleasing?

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Victim #4:
id love to be your boy toy.....25 y/o attractive and fit white male here....let me know.

My Reply:
Ooooh my! I don't even care what the rest of you looks like. After having to sleep with my old wrinkly prune body husband for the last 3 years you would be a pleasant delight.

Thank god the old wrinkled fart is suffering from impotence or I'd still have to feel his creepy decaying skin on my body.

I've done a vaginal rejuvenation surgery recently so my old ass cunt is tight like an 18 year old.

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Victim #5:
OH please pick me! Hi, I'm matt. I'm 20, live on the main line and can host. I've been DYING to find an older lady to show me a good time. In a word i'm the perfect boytoy. I'm mature, can hold a conversation. I work in a law firm downtown and have been all over the world. Oh and I'm a demon in the sack. I can't wait to meet you. I'm sending you a picture. Matt

My Reply:
Honey, I don't need a boy toy whose educated or even good at small talk. I need a boy toy whose is going to fuck me silly and has the stamina of a wild stallion.

My husband is an older gentleman and can no longer perform the way I need him to.

Its been a long time since I've had a good romp in the sheets and my old wrinkled ass, dusty pussy could use a really good hammering.

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Victim # 6:
I attached my pic if you like hit me back with yours....I've never done this either but its an incredible fantasy of mine.....we could have alot of fun......I love using my tongue.... Eric

My Reply:
No one even said that I've never done this before...

In fact, I do it all the time. This is the rave of the century.

My son is about your age. It was he who suggested that I start looking for new sexual partners on the internet, now that my husband is in a coma.

I once had this pleasant little Vietnamese boy who was perhaps just barely 19-years-old.

He lived and shared my bed for almost a month until he discovered my husbands bedroom and saw him lying there on his respirator. (This was before the coma).

Ohhh how I miss my little Phuc.... Anyways, enough about that Tell me about yourself...

What kind of things are you into?
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Victim #7: (I kinda switched gears here and pretended to be a foreigner.)
hi lets meet now

My Reply: hello handsome, you are so hairy. in my native country we call you ternaco azum nietco which mean like a hairy gorilla tarantula monkey loosely translate. it is compliment.

I love every inch of your hairy nipple and would like to pour hot sauce and lick all over you. you remind me of my ex lover who was hairy like you but with more hair. for fun, we pour hot wax and pull. he get erection from this sexual activity. i like to meet you too.

His Reply:
cool when can i cum see u and can u snd me a pic
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Stay tuned to next week for Part II. Well maybe not next week, but within 2 weeks... Maybe...

Anyone got any good ideas for a new character to portray?

Fun on Craigslist: Short Short Man Part III

I know that I said that I was gonna have this posted last Friday, but whatever. It's one week late. You'll get over it...

The Finale of Short Short Man

Short Short Man - w4m - 22 (Seattle)

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Reply to: mailto:pers-1051551998@craigslist.org?subject=Short%20Short%20Man%20-%20w4m%20-%2022%20%28Seattle%29 ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}
Date: 2009-02-26, 10:00AM PST


So here's the deal...

I've had sex with several guys who are of average length... The problem is that it hurts...
I'd like to experience some pretty wild and crazy, fun sex... but with a guy who is 6 inches or below.

I'm 22 year old white female, D&D free, and I'm interested in meeting up with someone possibly tomorrow or sometime this weekend.

The only thing I ask of you is that you be at no more then 6 inches and also D&D free.
____________________________________________________________________
Victim #1
I'm a 6.. Tell me about yourself

My Reply:
I am a bit of a sexual deviant with fetishes for the abnormal.

I like shooting skittles out of my vagina as it demonstrates to my potential sex partner the muscle control that I possess. My only sexual flaw is that my vagina is unfortunately shallow and therefor I cannot handle a penis over 6 inches long.

I do however, appreciate having foreign objects stuffed into my anal capacity.

I'd like to share more with you, but I want to make sure that you are still game with everything that I have mentioned thus far.

His Reply:
Haha Id like to see the skittles thing.. Maybe we could try m&m's, let them
Melt and I could lick it off.. Do you like getting oral?

My Reply:
I prefer skittles because they don't melt like M&M which could result in your truly getting a yeast infection... I would know... Been there, done that...

I love oral. I like it when my clitoris is licked then pinched and slightly bitten.

I also like to give oral but only on the condition that you urinate in my mouth. I'm also into bondage and would like to tie you to bed post and blind fold you, and then have you guess what I'm going to do to you next or when I'm coming back to untie you.

I like to play this game I call "slave", but to play that game, I'd need you to take at least a week off of work, as it will involve me moving you to various locations and possibly a high speed chase. But don't worry, I promise to cover all court cost if something is to happen and we get caught and I can draft something up for you in writing if you'd like.

His Reply:
WTF!! Sounds crazy but unfortunatly I'm in the military so I can't get a dull week off and and trouble with the cops can't happen seeing how I am a military cop.. But I'm totally into trying anything

My Reply:
A Military Cop? That's really creeps me out. I have a phobia of government personnel... especially people in the military because most of the time they are mentally unstable.
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Victim #2:
6-2, 205....5.5 inches....muscular/athletic/discreet...dark hair and eyes..

in wallingford..

you?

cum explore..

hugh

My Reply:
Are you into golden showers by any chance? I get turned on by having guys pee in my mouth...

His Reply:

yes...certainly will "shower" you..

your pic?

hugh
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Victim #3:
Hi Im Josh from DT Seattle. I am right at 6 inches, maybe a little less. Let me know what you have in mind. Do u have a pic?

My Reply:
you think that's 6 inches? LOL
You don't have to lie hun... I specifically asked for small wieners and I think we got a winner! So what kinda kinky things to you wanna do to me with that thing? Are you into bondage by any chance?

************************************************************************************* Victim #4:
Hi...I am what you are looking for. Dont know what else your requirements r but take a look at what I have in that realm....and shoot me back an email.

My Reply:
omg its soooo tiny... you are perfect... any plans for tomorrow... how were you blessed with such a tiny little pecker... its like the size of a 2 year olds, only wider...its soo cute and little i'll even let you fuck me up the ass....i dont know if i wanna smack it or kiss it... i dont care what your face looks like... you have the cutest little penis i've ever seen...

His Reply:
Hmm, is this for real?

First of all, it's not that small!!! LOL Second of all, don't smack it! kiss it, maybe put it in your mouth and suck, maybe stroke it or sit on it, but no violence to the penis... May I see a picture of you now?

My Reply:
honey its not violence... but we all love in different ways... my love for penis is just a little rougher and somewhat abnormal then most...

His Reply:
LOL as long as it doesn't bruise, hurt for a long time and doesn't fall off...LOL So, where am I putting it?

My Reply:
well theres not many places to put it... its so tiny...

but I'll let u stick it in my little tight puss infected vaginal cave...

I can't get over how cute and small it is. I wish I could just stick it in my pocket
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Victim #5:
hi i can help, if u have a pussy pic i have a cock shot, if we like what we see we can do face shots, fare?

My Reply:
I like how you think.... I'll send you a pussy shot as soon as I get home and upload it...
in the meanwhile, tell me about the kinda things your into... I'm also interested in being as kinky and naughty as possible...
sorry for the late response...

His Reply:
hi nice to hear from u too, so u like to get kinky huh, or naughty hmmmmmmm

what about down right nasty, whats the nastiest think u have ever done? be honest, i will be, i have seen things and done things u wont belive,,,,,,,,,,,lol, out side the box too r u at work? i played hooky today r u thinking nasty thoughts right now mmmmmmmm;o)~(!)

My Reply:
ooo boy... well i'm a pretty naughty little slut... I once had sex with my dads best friend... He was 39 and I was 18 at the time... He made me tie him up and I took down his pants and he was wearing these cute little red and pink thongs... they actually turned out to be my thongs that he had stolen from me

I brushed a knife up the side of his cock and he was in pure ecstasy that he nearly ejaculated right then and there. I then squatted over his face and lowered my warm moist cunt over his face and brush my bushy pubs into his mouth. Then he screamed something like "Release the dam!" and I began to urinate in his mouth...

He said it felt like a warm fountain, trickling down his throat and he drank every drop of my very warm lemonade. He then instructed me to pour honey on his fully erected cock and to let my family pet... a golden retriever, lick every last drop of honey of his love shaft.

That made me a little jealous so I got down on all fours like the dog and began to fight with the dog for control of licking my lovers love tool.

Anyways that's just one of many interesting stories I have... how about u?

His Reply:
very nice, and very naughty, i love being pissed on, i also love pissing in ur asshole while im cumming im 37 just so u know, and i love nasty little girls u mentioned ur pet retriever. male or female? i have a very nice story bout my friend and her german sheppard, if ur ok with that have u ever let ur pup lick ur cunt, mmmmmmmm u on all 4's sounds hot can u open pics where u r now tell me more get my cock hard, so i can jack off for u ;o)~(!)

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Stay Tuned to next time as I post an ad in Philly pretending to be a 45 year old cougar....

I don't know when it'll get posted but it might not be for another 2 weeks just because I can't really sit around and do this at work because there are people "watching" me.

They pretend like they're not, but they totally are...

Fun on Craigslist: Short Short Man Part II

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