This question comes from Lain.
Lain writes:
I was reading your topic on bisexuality. I myself would consider my sexuality to be strictly homosexual, but my girlfriend has a history of being with men, and has admitted, though not to me, that should we break up she would most likely return to men. To me, however, she claims she is a lesbian. I find this bothersome because it feels like she's hiding her sexuality from me. I told her that if she would be bi then, wouldn't that make her bi now? and still warrant some attraction to males? She swears she has no attraction to men, but I feel like it's a lie. I don't really dislike her for it, but it does make me worry that eventually I alone will be inadequate for her. You mentioned how its natural to have a romp with the opposite or same sex on occasion; do you think she'll do the same? Or resent me if I tell her I don't want her to? I'm really conflicted.
Wow. I'm really feeling for you.
Thing about it is, bisexuals tend to confuse the hell out of people, even themselves. Your girlfriend is definitely not a lesbian though. Based on what you've told me, I'm certain as to that much.
But the two of you are in a relationship together (I'm assuming it's a monogamous one), which means that no matter whether she's gay, straight, or bi, she shouldn't be resentful towards you if you objected to her sleeping around with men.
After all, I highly doubt that you would find it acceptable for her to sleep around regardless of whether she chose to do it with a man or woman.
It is somewhat troublesome that she feels the need to lie about her sexuality though it could be that she is lying only so that you don't feel threatened by it since she has no immediate plans to leave you.
Assure her that you're not threatened by her bisexuality and she may eventually come clean with you in time. But don't press the issue too hard either. Some people just have a hard time coming clean to those who mean the most to them.
As for her admitting that she would more than likely return to men in the event that the two of you should break up, don't get yourself too worked up over it. She didn't say that she was going to leave you for a man, just that in the event of the two of you breaking up she may go back to men.
She more than likely doesn't even mean it and is just expressing her normal relationship frustrations. When I get frustrated with The Boyfriend, I always tell him that the next relationship I'm in is going to be with a woman. Do I mean it? Not really (well kinda), but I say it out of frustration at the moment.
The bottom line is, if she's not actively seeking out a relationship with either a man or a woman, you don't have much to worry about regardless of whether she's a lesbian or bi.
I really hope this helps.
Angry Girlfriend
Anyone else have a question or comment about this topic or anything else, email me @ angrygirlfriend@gmail.com or fill out the Send A Question Form on the right side of this page.
Showing posts with label sexual orientation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexual orientation. Show all posts
Friday, May 2, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
I'm the Gay Ringleader
I love my cousin. She's so cool and gay, and really outgoing and gay, and she's just fun to be around. Did I mention that she was gay?
Her wife is so cool and just as gay, but according to them, all of my friends are gayer then they are and I'm the gay ringleader.
My cousin and her wife seem to believe that I set the pace for gayness among my friends and they just follow my gay lead. Did I mention that I'm not gay?
I don't deny being the gay ringleader amongst my friends. It's probably true. After all, my sexuality has always been a little border line.
All my friend were walking a pretty straight line... that is until they met me.
I have caused more confusion in my friends sexuality than I care to count or take responsibility for.
I have been the first girl most of my female friends have kissed. I'm the person who made it completely acceptable for my group of friends to grope each other just cause, the person who said it's okay for us to show one another our body parts and compare or just because you want to. I made it completely normal to mess around with another girl just cause I felt I could, and most if not all of my friends, followed my lead.
I have caused a number of friends to question their sexuality, one of which I believe to be a closet lesbian and my lesbian cousin would agree. I'm hoping to be able to help her come out.
I have been the subject of controversy in most of my female friends heterosexual relationships, as their boyfriends would worry that I may actually one day steal their woman right from underneath them.
That, however, couldn't be any further from the truth. The fact is, if I would've wanted their women, I would've had them. (I know it sounds really cocky on my part, but it's true).
The question that I always hear is: Why do you do this if your not gay?
So here goes my answer:
1. I'm a highly sexual person.
2. Because I can.
3. I'm the gay ringleader.
Got a problem with that? Well I guess you can fuck yourself =)
Her wife is so cool and just as gay, but according to them, all of my friends are gayer then they are and I'm the gay ringleader.
My cousin and her wife seem to believe that I set the pace for gayness among my friends and they just follow my gay lead. Did I mention that I'm not gay?
I don't deny being the gay ringleader amongst my friends. It's probably true. After all, my sexuality has always been a little border line.
All my friend were walking a pretty straight line... that is until they met me.
I have caused more confusion in my friends sexuality than I care to count or take responsibility for.
I have been the first girl most of my female friends have kissed. I'm the person who made it completely acceptable for my group of friends to grope each other just cause, the person who said it's okay for us to show one another our body parts and compare or just because you want to. I made it completely normal to mess around with another girl just cause I felt I could, and most if not all of my friends, followed my lead.
I have caused a number of friends to question their sexuality, one of which I believe to be a closet lesbian and my lesbian cousin would agree. I'm hoping to be able to help her come out.
I have been the subject of controversy in most of my female friends heterosexual relationships, as their boyfriends would worry that I may actually one day steal their woman right from underneath them.
That, however, couldn't be any further from the truth. The fact is, if I would've wanted their women, I would've had them. (I know it sounds really cocky on my part, but it's true).
The question that I always hear is: Why do you do this if your not gay?
So here goes my answer:
1. I'm a highly sexual person.
2. Because I can.
3. I'm the gay ringleader.
Got a problem with that? Well I guess you can fuck yourself =)
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Are We All Bi-Curious?
When the term bisexual comes to mind, the first thought for most people is usually that of a young woman who is just oozing with sexuality. Some people would even classify this kind of woman as being sexually overcharged.
But what would you think if I told you that all humans are bi-curious by nature? I think that most people would have a hard time excepting this theory and would become uncomfortable with just the thought alone that they themselves just may be bi-curious. Men especially would find this theory a little hard to swallow, no pun intended.
The fact remains that bisexuality is nothing new to modern society and has been practiced by ancient man.
It might shock some people to learn that in ancient Greece, same-sex relationships were mandatory for the Spartans between the younger boys and the adult men. This was deemed acceptable so long as the men eventually married and had children. The belief was that love and erotic relationships between the experienced soldiers and the rookie soldiers would create a stronger bond and that the soldiers would fight more fearlessly as they wanted to impress their lovers.
However, in today’s society, something like what occurred between the Spartans in ancient Greece would not be socially acceptable with modern man.
A man who engages in sexual acts with another man is quickly labeled as a homosexual, regardless of whether or not his sexual preference might lean more towards woman.
Woman, on the other hand, can engage in sexual relations with one another and not be automatically labeled as a lesbian. Most people would probably assume that the woman was “just being curious”.
I have come up with my own beliefs about bisexuality that I’m sure many people would disagree with. But it’s my theory, so what can you do?
My theory states that all humans on this earth exhibit some traits of bisexuality. That’s not to say that all people act on it. It’s just to say that the traits are there.
As children, we are curious about our bodies. It is this curiosity that often leads children as young as 4-years-old to explore their bisexuality among their peers, though this is more of a common occurrence between little girls then with little boys.
As adults, this trend continues. Women tend to be more open to the idea of experimenting with their bisexuality. It maybe due to the fact that woman have already become comfortable with this type of behavior from childhood. It could also have something to do with the fact that the behavior is more socially accepted by society. A woman, who is deemed bisexual, often becomes more desirable to men simply because most men have the ever recurring fantasy of being with two women at once.
Men however, tend to be classified as being homosexual if they even entertain the idea of experimenting with their bisexuality and are somewhat less desired by woman.
In a sense bisexuality may not even really exist. Most people who classify themselves as being bisexual will always have a stronger preference one way or the other, thus defining their sexual preference. But why do we feel the need to put people in one category or the other?
Simply stated: because it’s human nature to do so. Having labels such as “straight”, “gay” or “bi” lets others know what you prefer and whether or not it’s safe for them to approach you if they’re interested.
Bisexuality is the gray area of sexual orientation. Unlike being gay or straight, who have a sexual preference one way or the other, a bisexual can opt to go either way, which tends to confuse most people.
Alfred Kinsey, who was the founder of what is now referred to as “sexology”, developed the Kinsey Scale which was designed as an attempt to measure sexual orientation.
This is a copy of the scale:
Because most straight women have a tendency to experiment with their bisexuality, they would be scored as either a 1 or 2, according to the scale. On the other hand, most straight men would score a 0 since they are less likely to toy around with their sexuality.
I, myself, would score about a 2 based on the Kinsey Scale. (Don’t act surprised. Most women you know are probably the same way. They just don’t admit to it. It is completely sexually healthy to have the occasional roll-in-the-hay with a member of the same sex. Besides, for a straight woman, it’s the loophole to cheating).
Although most men would score a 0, according to the Kinsey Scale, it is my belief that straight men who are too worried to experiment physically with their bisexuality due to society standards, still find other ways to explore their bisexual side.
It is my belief that movies, such as Troy, Alexander, and the more recent 300, are all homoerotic movies created by men for men to serve the purpose of allowing straight men to safely somewhat indulge in their bi-curiosity without fear of being chastised or being labeled a homosexual, and all under the guise of the movie being labeled a War movie.
Straight men also tend to push their women partners into anal sex as a way to experiment with their bi-curiousness. Society does not considered this to be homosexual behavior since the men are penetrating a woman’s anus as opposed to a mans anus, though it is really all the same.
The fact remains that whether you choose to admit to it or not, the human species, by nature, is bi-curious. There are many who may never act out on their curiosity, but the thoughts in their mind will always exist even if they never share it with another sole on this earth.
Like it or not, we are all bi-curious.
But what would you think if I told you that all humans are bi-curious by nature? I think that most people would have a hard time excepting this theory and would become uncomfortable with just the thought alone that they themselves just may be bi-curious. Men especially would find this theory a little hard to swallow, no pun intended.
The fact remains that bisexuality is nothing new to modern society and has been practiced by ancient man.
It might shock some people to learn that in ancient Greece, same-sex relationships were mandatory for the Spartans between the younger boys and the adult men. This was deemed acceptable so long as the men eventually married and had children. The belief was that love and erotic relationships between the experienced soldiers and the rookie soldiers would create a stronger bond and that the soldiers would fight more fearlessly as they wanted to impress their lovers.
However, in today’s society, something like what occurred between the Spartans in ancient Greece would not be socially acceptable with modern man.
A man who engages in sexual acts with another man is quickly labeled as a homosexual, regardless of whether or not his sexual preference might lean more towards woman.
Woman, on the other hand, can engage in sexual relations with one another and not be automatically labeled as a lesbian. Most people would probably assume that the woman was “just being curious”.
I have come up with my own beliefs about bisexuality that I’m sure many people would disagree with. But it’s my theory, so what can you do?
My theory states that all humans on this earth exhibit some traits of bisexuality. That’s not to say that all people act on it. It’s just to say that the traits are there.
As children, we are curious about our bodies. It is this curiosity that often leads children as young as 4-years-old to explore their bisexuality among their peers, though this is more of a common occurrence between little girls then with little boys.
As adults, this trend continues. Women tend to be more open to the idea of experimenting with their bisexuality. It maybe due to the fact that woman have already become comfortable with this type of behavior from childhood. It could also have something to do with the fact that the behavior is more socially accepted by society. A woman, who is deemed bisexual, often becomes more desirable to men simply because most men have the ever recurring fantasy of being with two women at once.
Men however, tend to be classified as being homosexual if they even entertain the idea of experimenting with their bisexuality and are somewhat less desired by woman.
In a sense bisexuality may not even really exist. Most people who classify themselves as being bisexual will always have a stronger preference one way or the other, thus defining their sexual preference. But why do we feel the need to put people in one category or the other?
Simply stated: because it’s human nature to do so. Having labels such as “straight”, “gay” or “bi” lets others know what you prefer and whether or not it’s safe for them to approach you if they’re interested.
Bisexuality is the gray area of sexual orientation. Unlike being gay or straight, who have a sexual preference one way or the other, a bisexual can opt to go either way, which tends to confuse most people.
Alfred Kinsey, who was the founder of what is now referred to as “sexology”, developed the Kinsey Scale which was designed as an attempt to measure sexual orientation.
This is a copy of the scale:
Because most straight women have a tendency to experiment with their bisexuality, they would be scored as either a 1 or 2, according to the scale. On the other hand, most straight men would score a 0 since they are less likely to toy around with their sexuality.
I, myself, would score about a 2 based on the Kinsey Scale. (Don’t act surprised. Most women you know are probably the same way. They just don’t admit to it. It is completely sexually healthy to have the occasional roll-in-the-hay with a member of the same sex. Besides, for a straight woman, it’s the loophole to cheating).
Although most men would score a 0, according to the Kinsey Scale, it is my belief that straight men who are too worried to experiment physically with their bisexuality due to society standards, still find other ways to explore their bisexual side.
It is my belief that movies, such as Troy, Alexander, and the more recent 300, are all homoerotic movies created by men for men to serve the purpose of allowing straight men to safely somewhat indulge in their bi-curiosity without fear of being chastised or being labeled a homosexual, and all under the guise of the movie being labeled a War movie.
Straight men also tend to push their women partners into anal sex as a way to experiment with their bi-curiousness. Society does not considered this to be homosexual behavior since the men are penetrating a woman’s anus as opposed to a mans anus, though it is really all the same.
The fact remains that whether you choose to admit to it or not, the human species, by nature, is bi-curious. There are many who may never act out on their curiosity, but the thoughts in their mind will always exist even if they never share it with another sole on this earth.
Like it or not, we are all bi-curious.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)