My Name Is Karma

As my friends have been watching me fester in my anger and madness, the one thing that I've heard from them over and over is, "Don't worry. Karma can be a bitch. That asshole is gonna get what's coming to him".

Well, kids. It's time for an Angry Girlfriend reality check. Sometimes Karma needs a little kick in the ass.

I'm not gonna sit here and wait for some magical Karma to kick in years and years later when I'm no longer bitter.

I AM KARMA, BITCH!!!

Of course most of you are probably thinking that I've lost most of my sanity and am working on pure emotion.

But I assure you. I don't think I've ever seen things more clearly in my life.

It's obvious that I'm only angry because (dare I say it?)... *gulp* I cared... Thats the first and last time you wil ever see any weakness out of me.

I'm gonna stop there because if I keep going, you'll only realize how evil I really am.

I'm a saint and those horns poking out the top of my head are only there to support my halo.

I Hate You - Go Rot In A Ditch

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All I Want For Christmas Is... A Good Divorce Attorney

I had stated earlier that Frijolero and I were in the process of reconciling. Well, that is no longer the case.

Two days ago, he stated that the marriage is over and that's pretty much all there is to that. Did I mention he was suppose to be coming out here for Christmas?

That's no longer the case either. After his unexpected news, I told him to take his airline ticket and go fuck himself with it.

I believe he may be seeing someone else. I'm guessing he hasn't fucked her yet, but that could change at any moment.

I hope your penis falls off from being infected with chlamydia and gonorrhea, you asshole!

So if anyone knows of a good divorce attorney, send me an email: angrygirlfriend@gmail.com

Secret Phone

Can you keep a secret? No? Well neither can I.

I have a new secret phone that few people know about it. I got it so that Frijolero can't contact me on days that he pisses me off.

Do you think it's wrong that I got a secret phone so that my husband can't call me when I'm mad at him? No? Neither do I.

Did I mention that we're trying to work things out and get back together? Dysfunctional, I know.

I've only given out the phone number to a selected few people who I have deemed important enough to contact me when my primary phone is turned off.

I know that are a few of you out there that are reading this and are probably going to want to go tell Frijolero about my new secret phone, but I'm advising you not to do that because if you do... The little man in the window will break into your house and eat your face plus, I'll deny the whole thing.

He'll believe me because I'm poor and poor people don't have money to spend on secret phones.

So keep your mouth shut... It's our little secret, ok? Shhhhhhhh ;)