Wednesday, January 14, 2009

So Bored!

Because I can never stay out of trouble but for so long, not to mention that I get sooo bored here at work, I decided that it was time to have some good old fashion, fun on the Internet.

Because I have "eyes" always watching me, I decided to stay off of craiglist temporarily. At least until I can get my home computer fixed (special shout-out goes to Cornholio for catching a virus on out home computer and crashing it. Special mention goes out to the cartoon makers of Naruto, for being Cornholios reason for catching the virus to begin with. That's right, it wasn't porn. Fucking anime!).

Anyways, here at work, I've been very restricted at what I can do since I have "eyes" always watching me like I already mentioned.

I decided to have some fun on Yahoo Answers, so I posted this question in the religious section:

Am I going to Hell???

I don't think that I 'm a bad person but everyone I know thinks I'm going to hell.
Though I will admit that I haven't been a perfect angel, I don't agree that "there's a nice rock with my name on it waiting for me in hell".
I know that it's wrong to stalk people, or slip laxatives to retaliate, or post ads on craiglist that lure men into the false hope of getting some nooky and sending them pictures of this ugly **** I know.
Making fun of ugly people is also wrong but sometimes they're just easy targets. Not to mention the fat people. OMG Why are they soooo fat?
And though I did slash my ex's tires and break all his windows, it really wasn't my fault. He sooo had it coming.
I only stole money from the collection plate at church like 3 times this past year, and that's a huge improvement for me, but I wouldn't have done it at all if the coffee at Starbucks wasn't soooo addictive, so it's really not my fault at all.
And sleeping with my step-brothers wife was totally not my fault. She came on to me because she wanted to "experiment".
I mean, what do people want from me? I'm trying to good to be good here and things just always happen. It's really not my fault.
So I'm not going to Hell, right?

Even though this isn't even half way as entertaining as the shit I do on craiglist, it was still kinda funny. Some of the answers I got where like this:

those who do not accept Christ as their Savior will not spend eternity in heaven, those who deny Christ are with satan. The only way to the Father is through the Son.
If you're a christian, then you just have to believe in Jesus, and you can keep doing this stuff. afterall, you're trying to be "good"
This will help you better understand -
If you die without Jesus Christ you will end up in hell.

No one is good but God alone.
The only way to avoid being sent to hell, is by believing in Jesus as God and Savior without adding any of your own works.

Do you believe in Jesus? Then you're not going to hell.

But if you don't believe in Jesus, then you are going to hell.

You don't have to be sent to hell.

Salvation is a FREE GIFT that happens in a split second when you believe in Jesus! It is impossible to lose or "leave" salvation.

The truth about Jesus is that the only way to be saved and to get into heaven and avoid being sent to eternal hell, is by believing in faith alone that Jesus, who is God, died for our sins on the cross and rose from the dead (1 Corinthians 15:1-4). Believe this and you will be in heaven, no matter what!

Please pray now: "Jesus, please forgive me of my sins. I believe that You died on the cross for my sins and You rose from the dead. Thank You for eternal life!" You will be in heaven with Him forever when you die. :)
if you truly believe that jesus christ died for your sins your fine you wont go to hell i have messed up many times in my life but i know im ok because i have that relationship with god and if you have your bible read john chapter 3 verse 16 start there and it will explain =]

All very boring and lame to me. Yahoo sucks! Other people caught on to the fact I was obviously a liar and posted answers like this:

"It's really not my fault."

this seems to be a reoccurring theme with you on this question.

do you ever take responsibility for your actions?

I don't know if you will or will not go to Hell, but I know only this - you are a very mean person. and mean people SUCK!
I don't know where to start really. None of this actually happened, right?

Either way, you will be fine. At least I hope so because if you're going to Hell then I will surely burn forever for eating my wife.

All soooo very lame!

I really need a new home computer so I can continue on my mission on being an Internet asshole.

Anyone wanna pitch in?


Anonymous said...



Angry Girlfriend said...

I Love You! Thanx for the support LOL