Saturday, January 31, 2009

The Other PMS

I was so annoyed last night, when Cornholio came home bitchin at me about who-knows-what. So I did what I always do... ignore him.

Usually, he'll get the point and go on bitchin to himself. But yesterday, he just went on and on and on. He eventually went upstairs and I guess he bitched himself to sleep.

That's when I realized that it was his time of month and he was going through some major PMS. For those of you who don't know, PMS for a man stands for Penile Mood Swings. (I kinda just made that up, but it works if you ask me).

Just like their penis', male PMS is quite unpredictable. One minute its hard, the next it's soft. It shrinks cause it gets cold, sometimes spits for no apparent reason at all. Completely unpredictable. You get the point...

I really don't understand how you guys walk around with that thing, but anyways...

It's funny how men bitch about woman PMS and they don't even realized that they get their own version of PMS, too.

Personally, I much rather deal with a woman with PMS over a man with PMS because woman are much more predictable. I know that sounds hard to believe. A woman being predictable? But it's true.

You know that around that certain time of month, we're gonna be just a little more sensitive, evil, bitchy and conniving then we already are normally.

But, unlike men PMS, you know that this behavior in woman will always happen around the same time of month, every month (unless you knock us up) like clockwork (well, for most women).

Men PMS, however, is completely unpredictable. The only thing I know about Man PMS is that it's gonna come, and usually it's without warning. It totally catches you off guard and makes you want to punch the stupid fucker right in the fuckin throat because he's acting like a stupid shitface and it irrittates you so much that you plan on ripping out his eyeball in his sleep, or possibly pulling a Lorena Bobbit on his stupid ass.

(Deep breaths. Relax...)

You men suck asshole. I can't stand your asses when you have PMS because you're bigger bitches then we are when we have it.

I'm going to my happy place now. I'm good...

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