Thursday, October 4, 2007

Dear Angry Girlfriend: Do Men Consider Oral Sex An Obligation?

Today I found that someone left me a comment asking me a ton of questions in response to my Angry Girlfriends Guide to Safer Oral Sex blog.

I have to admit, I was kind of surprised. My first thought was, “Oh my God! You mean to tell me that someone other then my family is actually reading this crap?”

But hey, I don’t mind. Could I be onto something? I decided that today I would go ahead and post a blog to answer this mystery readers questions. It’s the least I can do. I edited the original post, but this was the gist of it:

Dear Angry Girlfriend,

I am a 46 year old married woman. I recently performed oral sex on my husband with a condom after reading one of your articles about safer oral sex.
My husband liked it, although he did tell me later that I was sucking too hard. Have you heard of that before?
Also, what’s the deal with cunnilingus?
Do you think that guys really enjoy going down on a female or do they just do it out of obligation?
My husband has actually never even tried to perform oral sex on me. How do you suggest that I bring this topic up and get him to do it?

Late Bloomer

Late Bloomer, indeed. But that’s beside the point. What’s going on there Late Bloomer?

Thanks for reading by the way.

Oh yes, sucking too hard. I think most of us have sucked a guy too hard at one point and time. The most sensitive part of a mans penis is the down side of the head of the penis. The head itself is covered with thin skin that gets hurt easily.

So if you suck too hard, you'll cause him some pain and discomfort. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t apply pressure while sucking, but you have to find the right amount of pressure so that you don’t hurt him. It also helps if you keep the penis well lubricated. (KY inside of the condom helps, or good old fashion saliva if you don’t use a condom for those who are married or in a monogamous relationship).

Oral sex, in general, is a preference. Some woman love to give their men oral and others do it because they feel obligated. Likewise, for men. There are men who genuinely love to perform oral sex, and others who do it out of obligation. The best indicator of whether a person is genuinely enjoying performing oral sex is effort. If the person seems to be putting in a lot of effort and seems to be getting more sexually excited, then you can assume that this person just genuinely enjoys giving their significant other oral sex.

If the person doesn’t put forth much effort and/or keeps asking if you’re about to cum, then it’s pretty safe to assume that the person is doing it out feelings of obligation.

If your husband has never performed oral sex on you, I’d be curious as to know why. If it’s something you want him to do then just express you’re feelings to him about it. He may have never tried if he thought you were uninterested in it. Then again some men are very peculiar about the smell of a vagina.

If I were you, I would suggest taking a shower together so that you are both fresh and clean and then suggest the idea of performing oral sex on each other at the same time (69 position). Not a lot of men would say no to that.

Hope that I’ve been able to help you.

Good Luck!

Angry Girlfriend

If anyone else has any questions that they need cleared up, whether it’s related to one of my blogs or otherwise, feel free to leave me a comment or you can email me at

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