Sunday, December 16, 2007

How Does Your Chicken Taste?

Once upon a time, there was a boyfriend who lied to his girlfriend about going to work. The girlfriend became enraged when she found out that he was actually at a McDonald’s with some whore (I’m not just calling the girl a whore. She really was).

I guess the dumbass thought that his girlfriend would never find out about his little white lie, but he must’ve forgotten the fact that he was a man, and men always get caught cause they ain’t all that bright.

The girlfriend’s first thought was to set the boyfriends house on fire, but then she quickly remembered that she lived there, too. So instead, she set out to find her lying ass boyfriend, with the intent of vandalizing his car. You know, key up the car, slash the tires, break in the windows, all the fun stuff.

Well, as it turned out, finding him would be harder then she had originally thought. He must’ve heard the messages on his voicemail that she had left him warning him that once she got a hold of his scrawny little neck, she was going to snap it in half like a wishbone. Or maybe it was the message she left about cutting off his penis, frying it, and then feeding it to the dog to ensure that he would not be able to have it reattached like John Bobbitt, had him running scared.

Even though the girlfriend knew that the boyfriend had only picked up this escort to deliver her to a john to make some extra cash, it still enraged her because he had lied about what he was doing and she had had to find out on her own. How did she find out? Well, everyone knows that us woman have our ways of finding out the truth, no matter what the truth maybe.

The angry girlfriend needed revenge, so she decided that when the boyfriend got home, she would act normal. As if nothing had happened. She cooked the boyfriend dinner and waited patiently for him to come home.

The boyfriend was quite surprised to see that his angry girlfriend had calm down significantly. He was scared at first, but then became more relaxed and sat down to eat his meal, which consisted of chicken and pasta.

As he ate the chicken, he realized that there was a somewhat bitter taste to it, but was unable to pinpoint the taste. As he finished his chicken, the girlfriend started clearing the table and as she walked towards to the kitchen she turned back and said, “You seemed like you really enjoyed your chicken marinated in my urine”.

The look on the boyfriends face and the fact that he had eaten chicken marinated in piss was all the revenge the angry girlfriend needed.

*The moral of the story here is don't lie to your girlfriend/wife, whatever. We will always find out the truth and we will always get revenge. Men, this is why you shouldn't be so stupid.

I feel a Mastercard commercial coming:

1 lb of boneless chicken breast... $2.79
1 box of pasta... $.89
1 can of alfredo sause...$1.89
2 ounces of urine... free
The price on your boyfriends face when you tell him that his chicken has been marinated in urine... Priceless


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Nice Move! I say you post the complete recipe for other women.