Angry Girlfriends Guide to Phone Sex

At some point and time, most couples have joked around about the idea of having phone sex, whether they live miles apart or are just curious about it. Its one of those things that you try just for the sake of saying you did it.

Believe it or not, phone sex can indeed enhance a relationship, especially if the couple is in a long distance relationship. But most couples to tend to get stuck on how to get it started.

As a professional in the field, I can tell you that it’s really not that hard at all to get the ball rolling. It’s as simple to get started as asking “So, what are you wearing?” as cliché as it may sound.

Say your partner calls you up from the office one day and you both have some time to kill. He’s feeling frisky and asks you to talk dirty to him. What do you do?

The easiest thing to do is talk about things that the two of you have already done together in the past. Try bringing up a time that the both of you found especially hot, e.g., the time in the park when you were almost caught by your friends, or the time on the balcony at your friends apartment.

Another thing you could try would be talking to your partner about things you’d like to do but haven’t done yet or a fantasy you’ve been thinking about though you may not actually care to live it out.

Which ever option you choose is certain to get him in the mood and might even get you there, too. Just make sure to be creative and to use your most seductive voice.

In case that you still aren’t sure about what to do, I’ve provided you with a basic script that you could use to warm yourself up with examples of things that your partner might say in response until you get comfortable with what you’re doing.

This script is meant as just a guide and should not be used verbatim. It’s important that you pay attention to what your partner is saying on the other line and form your responses accordingly:

You: You know I’ve been sitting here all day thinking about you.

Him: Oh yeah? What about me have you been thinking?

You: How I wish you were here so I could kiss you.

Him: Is that all?

You: Not even close.

Him: Keep going.

You: Well, I’d start by kissing you. Your neck, your mouth. I’d lick your ear.

Him: Uh-huh. Then what?

You: Then I’d slide my hand down your pants and rub your cock.

Him: Yeah. It’s getting hard. Now what?

You: I’d unzip your pants so your cock could breathe a little and I’d keep stroking it.

Him: Oh yea? I’d like that.

You: Yeah? Then I’d go down, and slowly lick just the tip of your cock. Then I’d put the tip in mouth and suck it on it gently.

Him: Oooooh yeah…

You: You feel how warm my mouth is? I’d pull my mouth off the tip of your cock and let some spit slide down to the shaft. Then I’d put the tip of your cock back in my mouth.

Him: That feels so good…

You: I’d take your cock as far back down my throat as I could, then come back up and just suck the tip of your cock, then push it to the back of my throat again and….

Well, I’m sure by now you get the point. Just remember to be creative, be sexy, and have fun!

If you’re still unsure about what to do, click on the video to hear an example:

Angry Girlfriends Guide to Giving Better Blow Jobs

What can be said about a blow job? Well, there you are, bobbing your head up and down, using you hand to cover the parts that your mouth don’t, while trying to synchronize both keeping enough lubrication in your mouth and using your tongue so that you don’t cause any friction, all while trying to keep your teeth from scraping the guys penis.

They don’t call it a blow job without a reason. The fact of the matter is, guys love it and women take pleasure in pleasing their men. But not all men are created equal. What may please one man may not please your man.

I can’t give you a guide on how to give the perfect blow job, but I can most certainly give you a guide on tips to giving a better blow job. With that said, lets move onto to Angry Girlfriends Guide to Giving Better Blow Jobs:

1. Find out what he likes.
It may surprise you to know that most men like their penis manhandled. If you’ve ever watched your man masturbate then you will notice how rough he might be with it. It’s very important that you take notice on how he treats his own penis in order to please him the way he wants.

However, if he is one that is too shy about allowing you watch him pleasure himself, then you’re going to have to learn from trial and error. Take note of facial expressions that he makes while you’re sucking him off. Is it a face of pleasure or pain? If pleasure, keep note of what you did and repeat it. If pain, then it’s probably safe to assume that you should cross whatever it is you did off the list unless he’s a masochist.
2. Men are visually stimulated.
Here’s something that most woman don’t know: For many man, the feeling of receiving oral sex is not nearly as good as the feeling of actually penetrating a vagina. However, because men tend to be visually stimulated, the act of watching their partner performing oral sex is what gets them off more then the act of receiving oral sex.
3. Just because he’s soft, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t suck it.
Men like their dicks sucked whether they are soft or hard. Most men actually prefer that you start while they are soft and build them up to a good hard erection. Ever considered blowing him while he's asleep? It might take him a while to realize what's going on, but once he figures it out, he'll be more then grateful.

4. Suck and Twist
The suck and twist technique is the most basic blow job technique. It requires both hand and mouth. While you use as much of your mouth as you can without gagging, you cover the area of the penis that you’re mouth cannot cover with your hand. Your hand should twist the base of the penis while you are bobbing your head up and down. You can never use too much saliva, so get your mouth as moist as you possibly can and keep the entire penis, from head to shaft, covered in saliva.

5. Use Ice
Because your mouth is already warm, a piece of ice in the mouth creates an intense hot/cool feeling that most men really enjoy while receiving a blow job.

6. Toothpaste
Toothpaste may seem like odd thing to integrate into your sex life, but it can be used to heighten the feeling of oral sex. Like ice, it creates that intense hot/cold feeling and can be used as a replacement to ice. Just be careful not to use too much toothpaste. Using too much, can create and unpleasant burning feeling on the mans penis. Use no more then about half a dime size portion of toothpaste in your mouth.
7. You don’t have to suck the whole time.
Switch up between sucking and licking to keep things interesting. Licking the tip of the penis can not only stimulate a man but it can also build up more sexual tension. Play around with the tip for a bit by just licking.
8. Use lots of spit.
The sloppier, the better. Men love to see their penis being spit on (think porn). It’s all part of the visual stimulation. Plus the extra lube helps to both intensify the pleasure of oral sex as well as helps to simulate the feeling of vaginal penetration.

9. Make eye contact.
Making eye contact is a turn on because it conveys the feeling that you enjoy what you’re doing. Moaning while giving a blow job also tells your partner that you’re are completely into him and want to satisfy him.

10. Don’t forget the boys.
Men love to have their balls sucked on while receiving some good oral. While you suck on his balls, continue to stroke his penis with your hand.

11. Deep throating.
Men love to be deep throated, but most of us have a hard time doing it without gagging, that is unless you have no gag reflexes. But, believe it or not, men actually like it when we gag for two reasons:

I. They are visually stimulated by watching us gag
II. It boost their ego and makes them think that their dick is huge

Just make sure that when you gag that you make the sexy “Oh-God-your-dick-is-so-big” face versus the “Oh-God-I-think-I’m-gonna-throw-up-on-your-dick” face. The latter is not sexy to any man on any level. No man likes that idea of having his dick puked on.

Deep throating takes quite a bit of practice but can be done. One trick that I use is swallowing some spit right before taking the penis all the way back. By swallowing, you cause your jaw muscles relax and are able to take the penis down further though you still may gag some.

12. Spit or Swallow?
This is a timeless question. Truth be known, it doesn’t really matter if you do spit or swallow. If you let the man ejaculate in your mouth in the first place, then it’s really all the same. Men get off on the pressure that the sucking creates and the warmth of the mouth. Woman who swallow, usually aren’t gulping it down as the man ejaculates, rather they keep it in their mouth until their partner is done ejaculating, then swallow while pulling their mouth off of their partners penis. So a woman who decided to spit afterwards is no different from a woman who swallows after the ejaculation has been completed.

Men are just more turned on by a woman who swallows because it’s an ego thing and it turns them on to watch even after the fact that they have already finished. Plus they figure that if they can get a woman to swallow, it opens the doors to other more taboo sexual activities.

A trick to swallowing without gagging is to place the penis as far back into your mouth as you can while your partner is ejaculating. The further back it is, the less likely you are to taste the ejaculation since your taste buds further back on your tongue are less sensitive to taste as the taste buds on the front of your tongue.

Putting these tips to use will most certainly give him the time of his life and earn you a high ranking on his Best Blow Job Ever list!

UPDATE 01/03/12 - I don't personally know this 'Jack' guy, but I read part of his book... I hate to admit it, but he's got some interesting perspectives about blow jobs. Men will be men and say some really crude shit, but from what I get, he just wants a really good blow job. He's kinda a humanitarian in a sense. Helping other people by helping himself. It makes sense. Plus, since I don't have a penis, he might know a bit more on this subject then myself. His website is www.jacksblowjoblessons.com

On a random note; when I think of the work 'jack', I think of jacking off... Go figure.

Angry Girlfriends Guide to Preventing Spunky Sperm

To spit or to swallow? Many girlfriends and wives (and yes, boyfriends, too), contemplate this question. We’ve all heard so many rumors about what semen is suppose to taste like, but sometimes when we get right down to it, we encounter a problem: Spunky Sperm.

Let me set up a scenario for you:

You and your partner are getting down and dirty. You are on the receiving end of getting one of the best blow jobs you could ever imagine. The head of your penis begins to swell and you bust a big fat load into your partner’s mouth. To your surprise, she doesn’t pull back at first, but then she makes this face of disgust and hauls ass to the bathroom were you can here her spitting in the sink and vigorously rinsing her mouth.

If this has happened to you, I hate to be the bearer or bad news, but simply put: You have Spunky Sperm.

The semen of each male naturally has a unique taste to it, but believe it or not, what a man eats does affect the way his sperm will taste and even smell. In this guide, I will give you tips on how to prevent the occurrence of Spunky Sperm.

First, let’s cover what foods and drinks create the taste of Spunky Sperm:

As a general rule, dairy products create the spunkiest of Spunky Sperm.

Hot and spicy foods as well as spices with high sulfur content such as garlic and onion can also create a very Spunky Sperm.

Vegetables that should be avoided include broccoli, asparagus and any other cabbage family vegetables.

These types of food should be avoided at all cost before oral sex, unless you get a kick out of watching your partner gagging while hauling ass to the bathroom to spit out that Spunky Sperm that you shot out in her mouth.

On to the neutral food groups:

Foods like meat and fish can go either way. Some woman claim that it helps neutralize Spunky Sperm and others claim that these foods cause Spunky Sperm. The best way to know which way which side of the fence you’re on is to simply just try it for yourself.

Now, onto the foods that help reduce the taste of Spunky Sperm and in most cases, even give semen a pleasant taste:

Fruits such as mangos, pineapples, apples, grapes and melons, give semen a sweeter taste because they are high in natural sugars.

Cinnamon, lemon and peppermint also give semen a sweeter taste.

Parsley and wheatgrass are foods that have also been proven to give semen a sweeter taste.

Drinking lots of water will help reduce the taste of semen altogether, though there will still be a slight taste.

Fruity alcohol based drinks and drinks like cream soda give a sweet sugary taste and is highly recommended in my book.

Guys, if you follow these guidelines, you’ll increase the chances of your partner wanting to swallow almost every time!

Angry Girlfriends Guide to Safer Oral Sex

In a day and age where the internet has become the main tool for society to learn about a wide range of subjects from the new and latest technology, to celebrity gossip, it shocks me that still so many people seem unaware of the dangers of oral sex when the proper precautions aren’t taken.

Most people are well aware about the proper precautions when it comes to sexual intercourse and yet when it comes to oral sex, so many people seem to have this false sense of security that performing oral sex is safer then sexual intercourse.

As we all know, a woman cannot become pregnant from either giving nor receiving oral sex, and that may very well be, in part, the reason that so many have gained this false sense of security that oral sex is safer.

The threat of contracting an STI from oral sex is very much real though many people seem completely oblivious to this fact. Yes, it is true that you are less likely to contract an STI from oral sex then from vaginal intercourse, but the fact remains, that the risks are there.

During oral sex an STI can spread from the genital area to the mouth and vise versa. They pass between people through body fluid or through direct contact with skin or sores.

It is possible to contract gonorrhea, Chlamydia, or syphilis in your mouth and/or throat. Herpes is the most common STI contracted from unsafe practices of oral sex.

Sounds pretty ugly, doesn’t it?

So how do you protect yourself from contracting a STI and still be able to enjoy oral sex?

To protect yourself during the act of fellatio (blow job), it’s actually pretty simple. I’m sure you’ve all seen those flavored condoms while at the drug store and have probably wondered to yourself at some point or another, “What’s the deal with those flavored condoms? How would I taste them unless I put it in my mouth? Seems kinda pointless”.

I never did understand how some people could be so clueless about the purpose of flavored condoms. Flavored condoms were designed with the intent that you DO put them in your mouth… while giving your boyfriend head. It creates a barrier so that no bodily fluids are exchanged, thus helping to prevent the transmission of an STI from one partner to another.

Some men may claim that the act of oral sex doesn’t feel as good with a condom then oral sex without the use of a condom. Though using a condom to perform oral sex may decrease sensitivity to the penis, there are ways to make oral sex enjoyable with the use of a condom.

Simply apply a lubricant, such as KY Jelly or Astroglide, to the inside of the condom BEFORE placing the condom onto the penis. This is to simulate the feeling of saliva on the penis that would normally be felt during oral sex without a condom.

Because most men tend to be visually stimulated, seeing their partner performing oral sex on them will tend to get them off with or without a condom. Don’t listen to any excuses that using a condom during oral sex will prevent him from having an orgasm.

Moving on to cunnilingus…

To protect yourself during the act of cunnilingus (eating out), you have several options. Dental dams are usually recommended. Dental dams are a late barrier, but unfortunately can sometimes be very hard to find.

A second option, which is just as efficient, is a regular condom, cut in half. You would place this condom over the vulva and it would create a barrier between mouth to vagina contact.

A third, and final option, is plastic wrap, such as saran wrap. I know this may shock some people, but using saran wrap as a barrier to perform cunnilingus does really work. But you should remain cautious while using saran wrap since it can tear easily if punctured by a fingernail.

Just like with the men, rubbing a little lubricant on the side of the barrier that will be placed down on the vulva can stimulate the warm feeling of saliva that would be naturally felt if a barrier were not used.

Just like with sexual intercourse, oral sex can still be enjoyable with the use of condoms, dental dams, and saran wrap. Hopefully, this guide has inspired you to take a safer approach to oral sex.

Angry Girlfriends Guide to the Female Orgasm

The secret to a woman’s orgasm is something that has eluded men, (and yes, even some women) for centuries.

Unlike a man’s sexual organ, a woman’s sexual organ is concealed. This could be part of the reason why the female orgasm has been so elusive to so many. With a penis, it’s all out there in the open. No secret tricks. You know exactly what you’re dealing with, and how to handle it.

I should probably point out that ejaculating and an orgasm are not the same, contrary to popular beliefs.

Ejaculation is when fluid is discharged from a penis (semen) or vagina (the exact source of what fluid is ejaculated from a woman’s vagina is still being debated).

For a man, ejaculation is usually accompanied by an orgasm, although it is possible for a man to ejaculate without having and orgasm and vise versa.

For woman, ejaculation is usually caused by pressure applied to the g-spot which is located in the front vaginal wall, and in my personal experience, there’s about a 50/50 chance that an orgasm will soon follow.

An orgasm is the intense feeling of physical pleasure that is caused by muscle contractions in the lower pelvis region.

So now that we have those basic definitions covered, onto the topic at hand: The female orgasm and how to achieve it.

The simplest way to for a female to achieve an orgasm is by stimulating the clitoris. Sorry to break it to you guys, but all that thrusting in and out, really doesn’t do much for us. Don’t get me wrong. It feels great and all, but truth be known, only about 30% of woman can achieve and orgasm through penetration alone, though I believe it to be much less then that.

So how do you create that stimulation that we need to climax?

Well, oral sex is always a plus. Most women enjoy the feeling of cunnilingus and chances are she will be more then happy to reciprocate the favor to a man with a gifted tongue.

Hand jobs are also a great way to stimulate the clitoris, though I should remind you that focus should be kept on the clitoris. We do enjoy fingering, but that alone isn’t going to get us to climax. Think clitoris.

Rubbing on the clitoris during intercourse will also get the job done and is much appreciated. Some woman, if not shy, will also be more then happy to masturbate themselves while you guys do the thrusting.

Now there is one loophole to having a woman achieve orgasm through penetration which doesn’t involve anything other then a good hard dick: woman on top, also known as riding.

When a woman is riding a man, friction between the clitoris and the man’s pubic hair will normally cause enough stimulation to the clitoris for a woman to achieve orgasm (and I bet you guys thought that your pubic hairs served no purpose).

So guys, trim. Don’t shave. We need your pubic hairs.

Follow these simple rules and you can almost rest assure that we didn't fake an orgasm. And no matter what you think, believe me, you really can't tell whether or not we faked it because we're just that good at it.