I had a real good blog for today... But I'm pushing it till to tomorrow cause I really need to get this off my chest...
We all know that The Boyfriend irritates the shit out of me...
He irritates me like a yeast infection irritates my vagina.
I mean, shit man, stop buggin me with your bullshit all the damn time.
The world doesn't revolve around you... It revolves around me!!!
So go take a chill pill and get the hell off my asshole!!!
Damn!!!
By the way... You're red eyeball is seriously disturbing. Go see a doctor for that shit before it falls off.
Rant over. I'll hit ya'll up tomorrow with the good shit.
Showing posts with label the boyfriend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the boyfriend. Show all posts
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
Valentines Day with Angry Girlfriend
Valentines Day has always pretty much sucked ass for me. I have spent years hearing all of my girl friends brag about how their boyfriends spoiled them with gifts for this bullshit Hallmark holiday, while I listened bitterly, hoping that maybe one day I’d meet some guy who would one day do the same for me.
Eventually, I met “The Boyfriend”. I thought that being single for Valentines Day sucked, but soon realized that being with “The Boyfriend” for Valentines Day sucks 10 times worse.
Here’s a little recap of how I’ve spent Valentines Day for the last several years with “The Boyfriend”:
Valentines Day 2004: He tried to break up with me like 2 weeks before Valentines Day. Somehow, it didn't happen, so then we spent Valentines Day at a restaurant feeling awkward. Oh and he brought me like half a dozen almost dried up dead roses. Really shitty and really uncomfortable.
Valentines Day 2005: We went out to a restaurant but he was just a complete dick. This was due partially to the fact that he had knocked me up and needless to say, didn’t take the news very well, although this was already 2 months after the fact that he had found out.
Valentines Day 2006: We didn't even bother going out. I made him a card that said "Nothing says I love you like a card that says Go Fuck Yourself". And then on the inside it said "Go Fuck Yourself". I had a good laugh over that one.
Here’s the actual card:
Valentines Day 2007: I don't really recall what happened this particular year. I know we didn’t go out. I didn't bother making a card either. I think I bought myself some liquor and got trashed.
Valentines Day 2008 (yesterday): I went to the gym, stopped by the liquor store, bought a card for my son and that jackass. I wrote on the inside of his card "You're a fucking ass", then signed it. He read the card and then asked me if I wanted to go to dinner on Saturday. I told him to Go Fuck himself. Drank my liquor, smoked a cigarette, and went to bed.
Here's yesterdays card:
After the 2nd Valentines Day gone bad, I realized that being with the “The Boyfriend” is no different then being single on Valentines Day. Actually, it’s worse then being single on Valentines Day.
At least when I was single, no one bothered to question what I was planning to do to celebrate this mean spirited holiday. But because I’m part of a couple, people expect me to do something.
For years, I’ve been hearing from people, “Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure he’s planning something great for you this year”.
It’s nice to know that so many of my friends and family are still so naïve about “The Boyfriend” and his “plans for Valentines Day”. I, however, am a realist. If he hasn’t done anything nice for me on Valentines Day once in the 5 years we’ve spent together, then it’s cause he doesn’t plan to.
Not next year, or the following, or within the next 10 years. It’s just not going to happen. I guess some people just weren’t meant to celebrate this bullshit, love fest holiday.
I’ve decided for the next Valentines Day, I’ll play single for the day and then go out with my single girl friends (if any of them are still single by that time, anyways). I’m determined to experience at least one decent Valentines Day in my lifetime. But until then, I’ll continue to rant about what a bullshit holiday it is and pout because I never get to celebrate it.
Eventually, I met “The Boyfriend”. I thought that being single for Valentines Day sucked, but soon realized that being with “The Boyfriend” for Valentines Day sucks 10 times worse.
Here’s a little recap of how I’ve spent Valentines Day for the last several years with “The Boyfriend”:
Valentines Day 2004: He tried to break up with me like 2 weeks before Valentines Day. Somehow, it didn't happen, so then we spent Valentines Day at a restaurant feeling awkward. Oh and he brought me like half a dozen almost dried up dead roses. Really shitty and really uncomfortable.
Valentines Day 2005: We went out to a restaurant but he was just a complete dick. This was due partially to the fact that he had knocked me up and needless to say, didn’t take the news very well, although this was already 2 months after the fact that he had found out.
Valentines Day 2006: We didn't even bother going out. I made him a card that said "Nothing says I love you like a card that says Go Fuck Yourself". And then on the inside it said "Go Fuck Yourself". I had a good laugh over that one.
Here’s the actual card:
Valentines Day 2007: I don't really recall what happened this particular year. I know we didn’t go out. I didn't bother making a card either. I think I bought myself some liquor and got trashed.
Valentines Day 2008 (yesterday): I went to the gym, stopped by the liquor store, bought a card for my son and that jackass. I wrote on the inside of his card "You're a fucking ass", then signed it. He read the card and then asked me if I wanted to go to dinner on Saturday. I told him to Go Fuck himself. Drank my liquor, smoked a cigarette, and went to bed.
Here's yesterdays card:
After the 2nd Valentines Day gone bad, I realized that being with the “The Boyfriend” is no different then being single on Valentines Day. Actually, it’s worse then being single on Valentines Day.
At least when I was single, no one bothered to question what I was planning to do to celebrate this mean spirited holiday. But because I’m part of a couple, people expect me to do something.
For years, I’ve been hearing from people, “Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure he’s planning something great for you this year”.
It’s nice to know that so many of my friends and family are still so naïve about “The Boyfriend” and his “plans for Valentines Day”. I, however, am a realist. If he hasn’t done anything nice for me on Valentines Day once in the 5 years we’ve spent together, then it’s cause he doesn’t plan to.
Not next year, or the following, or within the next 10 years. It’s just not going to happen. I guess some people just weren’t meant to celebrate this bullshit, love fest holiday.
I’ve decided for the next Valentines Day, I’ll play single for the day and then go out with my single girl friends (if any of them are still single by that time, anyways). I’m determined to experience at least one decent Valentines Day in my lifetime. But until then, I’ll continue to rant about what a bullshit holiday it is and pout because I never get to celebrate it.
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