Happy Anniversary, Fucker

Today marks what would've been me and Frijolero's 1st year wedding anniversary.

Obviously, things have changed and instead of being in Atlantic City sexing it up like we had planned on doing a while back, we are now separated and I'm now living in Las Vegas, while he's on the other side of the country probably banging some bitch that may or may not be a paid professional.

Let's keep it real, Frijolero. We both know the first thing you did after I left was go to that fucking whore house, Fuego's, and probably had sex with one of those dirty sluts who have got be the ugliest strippers/whores on the face of the planet. You're probably oozing with chlamydia juice and herpes now. I hope your penis shrivels up and falls off. I mean that in the nicest way possible.

To commemorate this festive occasion, I've decided to post certain song lyrics that I would like to dedicate to my soon-to-be-ex-husband.

Actually, there's only one song that really just sums it all up. It's not even the whole song, just the ending.

Green Day said it best:

You're just a fuck
I can't explain it 'cause I think you suck
I'm taking pride
In telling you to fuck off and die

F.O.D. by Green Day

Thank you, Green Day for those beautiful lyrics. I don't think I could've worded it any better then that...

But I'm gonna try anyways. Here is something I wrote just for you:

You're deceitful and you lie
You're an asshole
Go fuckin die

You've evil and you're mean
You like your whores
Young, shaved and "clean"

If they end up giving you the clap
I wont be mad
Cause you deserve that

I fucking hate you, hate you, hate you
I fucking hate you, stupid prick
I fucking hate you, hate you, hate you
Why don't you fuck yourself, piece of shit

I'm not that angry so don't you fret
I look forward to your child support check

It's the only thing helping me through
Remembering all the wasted time I spent with you

Anyways, it's a work in progress, so it's kinda all over the place right now.

In case your wondering, NO there is absolutely no possibility of reconciliation. I naively believe there was at first, but he quickly shot down any possibility of that happening. It's okay though. I'm not Angry. Well, maybe a little.

I've been holding back a lot, so it was time for me to vent a little so I can move on. However, this will more then likely be the last time that you hear any mention of Frijolero because I'm not gonna dwell on the past and all that shoulda/coulda/woulda type shit. Besides, there's no real drama between us anyways and I'd like to keep it that way.

No drama = boring blogs.

It's time for me to grab my vagina and pick myself up on my 2 feet and move on. And honestly, it's probably for the best that we split up. He just had the balls to do something that I couldn't do, so all jokes aside, there are no hard feelings (and no the marriage didn't end cause of prostitutes, and I don't really hope he catches an std and his penis falls off. Ok, well maybe I do want his penis to fall off, LOL).

Beside, I'm single now, living in Las Vegas, and will more then likely end up with a woman living out here. There are a lot of hot bitches, but I haven't seen too many attractive guys. I could be wrong, but I guess we'll see.

I could literally go either way at this point.

Music Videos That Turn Me On

I'm not saying these are the best of the best, nor are they the sexiest videos, but I have to admit that these 10 are on my top of Music Videos that give my vagina a tingly feeling.

10. Enrique Iglesias - Escape

This video turns me on, mostly because of the dry humping part in the bathroom, not to mention the foggy back seats of the car in the end. It does help that Anna Kournikova is in the video because she's really hot and I got a thing for Russians.

9. t.A.T.u. - All The Things She Said

Okay, so this video is sooo wrong on so many levels. You got hot, sexy, Russian girls in the rain, making out, in school girl uniforms... and they're underaged...

It's like a pedophiles dream come through. So very wrong, yet so very hot...

8. Divinyls - I Touch Myself

A song about masturbating? Come on... How is that not hot??

7. Madonna - Justify My Love

Madonna has a lot of slutty, sexy songs, but this music video just begs you to bend over and take it. There's all kinda crazy sex shit going on in these video... Fuck me right here, and now... Wanting... needing... waiting... for you... to justify my love.... Mmmmmmm, oh yeah....

6. Britney Spears - I'm A Slave 4 U

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Hot, sexy, horny, sweaty, people dancing around all hot and sweaty. Plus the hot and heavy panting. I get worked up just thinking about it.

5. Fiona Apple - Criminal


Fiona Apple Criminal Music via Noolmusic.com

She's been a bad, bad girl. I have been turned on by this music video since it came out when i was like 15 or 16-years-old. She's almost naked, in the bathtub with some guy, and if I didn't know any better, I'd swear there was like some freaky, 70's, sex party, orgy going on in the background. Hot, hot, hot!

4. Chris Isaak - Wicked Game

Who doesn't find this video hot? You got some hot, model chic, running around topless on the beach. They're making out in the water. Beach + Sand + Salt Water = Crazy, Passionate, Sex. Not to mention that something about the whole black and white feature, is just really sexy and puts my in the mood to fornicate.


3. Breaking Benjamin - Polyamorous

I'll be honest. The only reason this video made it so high on my countdown is because I have a minor crush on the lead singer of Breaking Benjamin, though his teeth are a little jacked up. But the video is pretty hot. You got some voyeurism going on, which I find really hot. You got girl with boy, girl with girl, and girl with boy and girl. It's freaking hot.

2. Metro Station - Control

This one is just an all out freak fest. You got a raging house party, with a bunch of horny people playing spin the party. Needless to say, it looks like a very fun and freaky house party. There's a food fight with half naked people. I love it. I got have me one of those parties.

1. Kings of Leon - Sex on Fire

Though this video seems to be somewhat homoerotic, I just can't get enough of it. The lead singer is laying down, looking all hot and sweaty, as the other band members appear to be pulling him in other directions. I just get so off on this video. And for the record, I have masturbated to it and several others on my count down. I totally got off!

As you may have already realized by my list of sexy music videos, it doesn't take me much to get aroused. Possibly because my imagination runs so wild that something can simply be implied and my mind will take it to a whole new level.

But yeah, that's me. So I'm gonna run off now to watch me sexy music videos, and ummmm, do stuff... to myself... with a little help from my dolphin...