Can't Shit, But I'm Not Constipated

I'm feeling pretty frustrated today. I have this urge to shit and I just can't seem to get it out. It doesn't quit feel like constipation so I'm not really sure what that's all about.

Maybe I should write a "Can't Shit, But I'm Not Constipated" song. Something along the lines of this:

I need to shit
But it wont come out
I'm not constipated
But I need to shit

Bubbles in my gut
I'm not a fucking slut
I need to shit
But I'm not constipated

It's work in progress. They always are. But anyways, enough about that.

So I received this really random myspace message from some guy (assuming it's their real page). Really weird:
He's not on my friends list and I know I don't know him. Maybe he just wanted some attention or maybe hes the same person who posted as Anonymous on my Git Er Dun, Ya'll blog. I just don't get why this was forwarded to me.

Obviously I'm a huge advocate of freedom of speech, especially because I like to talk so much shit, hehe. Bottom line is this message doesn't apply to me so I'm not really sure why I got it from some guy that I don't even know or that isn't on my Angry Girlfriend myspace friends list to begin with.

Hey dude that I don't know! Guess what? I think your creepy and a little weird. And you know what else? Women have vagina's. Well, most woman do. But I'm the kind of woman that does have a vagina. Oh yea, and one more thing:

I just shit, shit, shit
Cause I'm not constipated
I just shit, shit, shit
Cause I'm not constipated

How do you like those pineapples?