Who Says I'm Not a Good Neighbor?!

I know... I keep going M.I.A.  Blah, blah, blah... Get over it.

I've been meaning to post this for a while but, I've been distracted with a lot of things.  Packing, new job, and a bunch of irrelevant shit.

Anyways, about a week ago, I was on my way out the house to pick up my son from school when I found this note in the door:

I'm not completely insensitive to other peoples needs, especially when kids are involved, but what kind of threw  me off was the fact that I work from home and only leave the house for maybe 2 hours out the day, usually in the morning, NOT evening.

So Catrice #126, you're full of shit, which is why I had no choice but to leave you this note:

I'm such a good neighbor.

I haven't received another note in the door so I'm assuming she either got the point to fuck off or perhaps she realized she was blaming the 'continuous barking' on the wrong dog.

In either case, I don't care.

Jealousy is a Real Bitch

I admit it.  I have a very hard time keeping my outrageous jealously in check.  This may stem from what I like to call "Ugly Duck Syndrome".

Once upon a time, I got picked on... A lot... I went to majority all black schools all my life so maybe the bitches were hating cause I had 'that gud hur' (that's good hair, for those of you who don't understand Ebonics).

People use to call me ugly all the time, the thing is I believed it then. Not so much now.  But I do feel threatened by other women, but that probably has something to do with being cheated on all the time.  I've grown accustom to it.  I wont accept it, but it's expected. (Titusville, you are that one exception. I don't expect it from you and if you ever did it, you would die.... There's no explanation necessary).

Hell, I don't know.  Point is, I don't make friends easy, and I sure as hell don't keep them for long periods of time, but that has something to do with me always picking up and going into hiding. I reinvent myself all the time. I trust no one cause everyone lies, and I've become somewhat of a narcissist because at the end of the day, no one really cares about your best interest, but yourself.

So when I do find someone who I let in, and not just a little bit, but a lot, I can get somewhat overprotective of that person.  Unfortunately, since I don't know what a healthy human relationship consists of, I tend to get sometimes act out, in a very ugly way.

Truth be told, I'm not normal, so anyone who deals with me can't be either.  Normal people don't get me, but then again the abnormal folk don't either.

I'm not consistent in my personality. What I may find unacceptable today may become completely acceptable tomorrow. I'm starting to believe that I may be one crazy ass bitch.

There are days when I wish certain peoples death and the next I want to bury the hatchet and move on.  I'm that kinda crazy.  I think my paranoia is starting to get the best of me. I would see a shrink but I don't really trust the meds they prescribe.  I always seem to be that 1% of people who get the abnormal side effects of hallucinations, voices in my head and all that other crazy shit.  Must be because of my predisposition to schizophrenia.  

I am self destructive as hell, from the cutting, to the random tattoos that I got just for the pain, to the eating disorder.  Bulimia sucks, by the way.

Then there was the drinking problem that got in the way of my eating disorder but it was the only way I could eat and not want to purge.

Yeah, I'm slightly fucked up.  I am a work in progress. And that's not even half of it... Enough for you to maybe get a better picture of the person you're dealing with here, but there is still a lot more that I hide.

So yeah, that's me. Psychotic, but overly protective about people I care about, slightly overly emotional, and jealous, insecure, ugly but not really ugly but still thinks I'm kinda ugly, narcissistic bitch who goes back and forth between cutting, bulimia and alcoholism, and likes to hide out in the desert because this is where all the crazies come to hide.

When I finally get a balance on things, I'll let you know.

Until then, you can try to bare it with me, or go fuck yourself. Your choice.

Evil Monkey

I took a 5 hour energy shot today which makes complete sense.  I mean what person with ADHD shouldn't be taking energy shots?

So now I have a jumble of thoughts running through my mind but I can't keep up with my thought process.  Awesome, right?

I've come up with all sorts of devious plans to do evil things.  First thing that comes to mind is my plan to kidnap Fudgy.  In case you're wondering, Fudgy is this evil monkey with beady eyes.  He's oddly shaped and scary to look at.

I don't like him because I believe he is possessed by the devil and is out to get me.  Or maybe he's not out to get me specifically, but that evil bastard is up to something.  It is my belief that he may have very valuable information about what stuffed animals do when no one is home. 

Fudgy must be caught!  I must use Chinese torture and psychological torture techniques on him to get to the bottom of the truth.

I have a secret army and we plan to attack... very soon.

What poor Fugdy doesn't know is that I plan to behead him and stick his head on a pole.  Talk or don't talk, evil Fudgy.  You're going down, bastard!

I'd post a picture of the evil bastard to complete this post but in order to that, I'd have to reactivate my Facebook account to get a picture and quite frankly, I'm enjoying my hiatus away from Facebook.  The devil lives on Facebook and he's slowly taking all of you're souls from right underneath you.

I'm saved because I bought a homeless nun a sandwich which has to be one of the most narcissistic things I've ever done. I only did it to prove to myself that I'm not narcissistic which in turn only proves how narcissistic I really am.

As for all the devil and possession ideas that I have been rambling on about, you can blame that on Titusville for getting me addicted to Supernatural.

Dammit, is Dean hot!

So yeah... Death to Fudgy, Facebook is Evil, I'm a narcissist, and Supernatural is awesome!  How's that for a blog post?

Side note: Fudgy's owner, this is in no way, shape or form geared towards you.  Not every evil thought I post or mention is about you, so stop being so narcissistic.  Only I'm allowed to be a narcissist.  Now if you could kindly email me a picture of Fudgy so my evil minions know who to attack, that would be awesome!  angrygirlfriend@gmail.com and yes, I'm being totally serious. You'll thank me later.

I should also probably mention I'm on hiatus from my personal Facebook account, not my Angry Girlfriend account, so you can all still 'Like' my page and worship me.

Insomnia Is Back

Just when I thought I had gotten over it.  I crash at 10:00pm then wake up at 12:00pm, fall back asleep only to be up by 2:00am.

I don't know whats keeping me up but this shit sucks huge hairy balls.

Masturbation helps... Just slightly, but like Chinese food, I'm only hungry 2 hours later...  Was that analogy inappropriate? Fuck it.

On an irrelevant note, I love croutons!  They are so yum. Dip them in some bleu cheese. Hell yeah.

On yet another random note, I had a conversation with this Portuguese guy.  Well he spoke Portuguese and I spoke Spanish combined with the limited Portuguese I do know. It's fun trying to communicate with people who speak a different language.

I might make a game of it.  No English or Spanish?  Let's have a conversation.  Could be fun.

Trying To Be Not So Angry

There are maybe 3 people that I hate in this whole world. Like hate, hate and wish death upon hate.

Wait, that sounds bad.  Three people to wish death upon is kind of a high number? Blame it on me being a narcissist. The only other person I give a shit about other then myself and my son is Titusville.  I've known that fucker a long time.  Fuck, does he get under my skin.  I don't know half the time if I want to have crazy, wild sex with him or kill him. Maybe a mixture of both.  We do play hard.

As for the people I want dead.  I hate you.  You know it, I know it.  No need to be coy about it.  The only reason I don't wish you dead is because it would vastly effect The Boy.  Well, just that particular one.  Guess that gives that one away.  The other two, I could give a shit about.

Well technically the second is also related to my The Boy.  I just don't think he'd notice or care because you're fat and ugly and kind of a bitch.  Did I say kinda?  I take it back.  You are a bitch.  I don't know how your husband doesn't cheat on you.  He must be a better man then most, or really good at hiding his shit.  Maybe that's why he's always drunk.

As for the third, not even worth mentioning so there goes that.

There's an honorable forth mention.  I don't wish you death.  I just don't like you cause you lie.  A lot. Like all the fucking time. Seriously? What's the point of lying so much?  Especially cause you can't keep your stories straight and you get caught every fucking time?  You should work on that. Either stop lying or learn to lie and not get caught.  Just saying.

The more I think about it, there's a lot people I don't like.  Maybe I should relocate somewhere where I could become the President and dictate who gets to move into the country and who's ugly, fat, or a waste of space.  I will call Angry Girlfriendapolis.

I might need a better name then that.

Stupid, fat, ugly people who use to work at whorehouses are not permitted.  I still think it's hilarious that you call me a whore but you ACTUALLY sold your vagina for money.  By definition and technicality doesn't that make YOU a whore?  Just saying.

Yeah, So...

Sometimes being so angry gets annoying.  I wish I could let it all go like a good orgasm.  Is it so much to ask to be not angry?  Not happy, just not angry.

Apparently, it is.  Somehow, I know it's my own damn fault.  I set myself up for these things, but I am REALLY good at being self destructive.  

There was the whole cutting thing, the eating disorder. I push people away cause I simply just don't trust them. It's just what I do.  I find way to self destruct. I'd like to believe that I'm not alone, but in reality I am.  It's the nature of the beast.

One of these days, I'm going to have to grow up and face my issues.... Until then, I'm drowning it all out with music and alcohol:

How To Say This Nicely?

Nobody cares.  Least of all me.  Maybe I am sort of a narcissist after all.

Why did God invent you ugly people to begin with?  It's like he got bored and needed ugly people to entertain him or something.

More importantly, why are there stupid people?

You want to see me in court?  By all means.  Bring it on, bitch.  You wont win and I'll tear you a new asshole.  Here's hoping a big rock falls out of the sky and lands on your fucking head.

In the meantime, I'll just have to block your calls and/or respond to your text and emails with, 'No comment. Feel free to contact my attorney".

Really cute how you tried to set me up, by the way. Classic. Luckily, I learned how to tell when you're lying years ago. Go fuck a duck, k?

I am feeling like a major dumb ass for even being in this situation to begin with.  If only I could hit the reset button and make you go away.

How inappropriate would it be to have a beer at 3:30 in the morning?  Yes, no, maybe?