Sucks To Be You

In a very hilarious turn of events, I received an unexpected text message from a certain dumb fuck asking me for help.

The ex-husband of all people, had somehow found himself stranded with not enough gas in his car to make it from work back home.

Why was this so funny?

1.  When I left him (the 2nd and final time), I ran into some car problems.  Let's just say he wasn't very willing to help out back then.

2.  According to Facebook pictures, he seems to be doing quite well financially.  Going out to bars and dinner, even supporting his 20 year-old girlfriend and her son.

3.  His girlfriend doesn't work but she lives with him, which of course means he is the one paying all the bills even though he is 3 months behind on child support.

We still have a joint account together that he normally uses to transfer my child support. As I stated earlier, he's behind 3 months so the account hasn't been used.

Basically, the text conversation went like this:

Dumb Fuck: Hey. Can I use the bank card for gas?

Angry Girlfriend: Nope. No cash on it. That doesn't mean to test it either. I know how you are. DO NOT USE THE CARD

DF:  Damn I'm afraid I wont make it home from Sterling and I know I can't use my card

AG: Well you can't use that card either. I don't keep money in that account

DF: Can you transfer 10-15? Otherwise I wont make it and I don't want my parents or sister come out to VA during rush hour

AG: You much be really fucked if you're askin me for help

DF: I've told you this long ago. My parents have been helping me out.

AG: You have a girlfriend. Ask her to help you. Oh wait... That's right.. She doesn't work

DF: Can you or not? Please

I found myself in a very interesting situation where I could either:

a) Play nice and transfer him the money

or

b) Have a good laugh and leave him stranded

Of course, there is always a twist to what a do.  So this is what happened:

AG: I hope this is a major wake up call for you.  Don't support other people when you can't support yourself dumb fuck. I'll help you. $10 That's it. Don't go over and you're paying me back

DF: Thank you.  I will pay you back

AG: Titusville says you're welcome

Pause and think about that.  Let it sink in...Yep, that's right.  My boyfriend just sent you money to help you fill up your tank and get you home.  Well not really, but I figured it would sting his ego, because that's just the kinda ex-wife I am.  Evil and vindictive.  And then I had a good laugh and gloated in my victory as I drank my wine and thought about what a fucking loser you are.

*SMILE*

Baby Daddy Drama

Here we go:

My ex-husband keeps referring to me as a bitch.  Normally, I'd agree but in this case, not so much.

I have given this man every chance an opportunity to do the right thing and pay his child support. He is currently 3 months behind.

I reduced his child support in the divorce to factor in travel cost to fly back and forth from the east coast to the west coast. So remind me again why am I bitch when you haven't paid me child support in 3 months and I had to pay the travel cost for my son to fly back home?

From what I understand, you've spent the whole summer with your son dropping him off at your parents or sisters house so you could go out to party and take your girlfriend out, but I'm the bitch because all I'm asking for is what is court ordered anyways?

Doesn't sound like you've spent the time wisely to be with your son, let alone spent your money wisely.  And I don't really care what the fuck you do so long as my son is safe and you pay my child support in a timely manner.

You're serving alcohol to minors with my son around at your home, have barely spent time with the boy and you have the audacity to cry broke?!  Not my problem.

You signed the papers.  You agreed to the terms.  You're not keeping up with your half of the bargain.  But I'm the bitch?

Yeah, okay, sure.  Sounds to me like it's you.

D.A.'s office, here I come.  Good luck with that, dumb fuck.