Parking Ticket

Last week, I was pretty surprised when I happen to find a green envelope on my windshield as I was leaving The Boyfriend's mothers house. In bold letter, it said Parking Violation Enclosed.



The first thing that popped into my mind was a secret that I had once seen posted on Post Secret. Here's the actual secret:



Makes you think twice, right? So the first thing I checked for was my license plate number as well as all the other vital info. I was certain that this was a joke or something. But I was wrong.

Sure enough, there was my tag number, make, model and all that other good shit. I was a little confused about how I could've gotten a parking ticket while parked in a residential neighborhood.



It would be one thing if I had been parked out in D.C. or another big city, but I was parked in a suburb outside of D.C., so how the hell was this possible?

Then I noticed what the violation was for: Against the flow of traffic- passenger side must be on curb.

And while this was true, I was a little pissed off because I've parked in this particular neighborhood hundreds of times in the same exact manner that I have always parked, and never, not once, have I been ticketed for this dumb ass violation.

And what pisses me off the most is that there were other cars in the neighborhood that were also parked the same way that I was, and they didn't get a ticket. Not only that, but since I've go there just about every day, I seen cars parked all the time "against the flow of traffic" and I have yet to see anyone of them get a fucking parking ticket.

Obviously, the cop who signed the ticket "A", must of meant for the A to stand for asshole, because that's exactly what they are.

I bet Office Asshole is a rookie cop and has nothing better to do, or just wanted to prove something to all his new copper friends. Matter fact, I'm pretty sure that Officer Asshole is indeed a woman.

Men, in general, just aren't as petty or as evil as women are. They tend to lack those hormones that turn most woman into bitches.

Maybe Office Asshole was PMSing and singled out my car because it reminded her of her ex-cheating boyfriend's car. Who the hell knows, but I do know that I was singled out, which means I have no choice but to take it to trial...

Maaaaan, who am I kidding? I'm way too lazy for all that...

But I will be on the look out for Officer Asshole. Hell, misery loves company, and if i gotta pay the county $50-fucking-dollars for bullshit, I'm about to bring a lot of people down with me.

"Hey! Officer Asshole! You missed one... Over there... That silver Mountaineer..."

You know what they say... If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.